Saturday, March 2, 2024

Antonyms for Salvation

Ocean waves inhaling
exhaling 
                a field of roiling darkness
Sitting in warmth of our company
Relief and joy
Mutual salvation
Taste of flowers 
on our tongues
In the mirrors
lights approach
and halt

Clarification

The page is laughing and so am I
Raise a glass and give a toast
Are we not amused
Are we not paying attention
Open your words
Says your lips
Utter utterance
Leave no doubt

Rivers

You can't go back
It isn't the same
The river changed
The waters are new
Moment to moment
are you not the water

Meaning?
What's the point 
of the question?
There's no answer
Make up and decide
what makes sense 

* Beep *

No one is watching 
No one is home
Please leave a message
at the tone

Molting

This is fine
This is normal
This is how everyone feels
How long can this go on
Has it always been so
Are we such anxious creatures
    we can't handle the world remade
        in our own image
Now you sit in the screen glow
as I do
            unsure of anything
sure that everything
is aching and growing
into something
                         we cannot
yet define

Saturday, January 6, 2024

Acts of Translation

I am listening for the ghosts.
Their sighs fill the spaces 
of the moments of our lives.
Listen in order to hear.
What does your heart say?
What is the meaning 
taken from this interpretation?
Does translation only 
approximate the meaning?

Wednesday, January 3, 2024

Oh

Yes
it has always been
Yes 
know you know
what you always
felt

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Ashen World

From a distance it nears

Falling in silence 

Quiet breath overpowers

Snow at this time of year

I touch the softness

resting upon the ground

It does not melt

Sunday, December 10, 2023

Mixed Messages

What is it?

Are you waiting 
to read the tea leaves?

Can you not read 
the lines in your palms?

What are the trees telling you 
in the movements
of their bare branches?

This is the sign.

The Gods favor you.

You know what the ancients said 
about those the Gods favored.

Tuesday, November 14, 2023

We mourn our youth unknowingly.

over the hills
fire or dawn
growing close

Monday, October 23, 2023

Who Will Take me Home

If I can still myself
will I find the peace
that's eluded me

Can I sleep and
wake up rested 
without a worry

This gift given without 
desire is the only one
that matters to me

I close my fists
and grasp the water
to come up empty again

Are these words enough
It shouldn't matter 
if it's all I have

Will the wind carry you
or will time take you home

Sunday, October 1, 2023

Where and When

Open the door and look inside.

Are they still sleeping?

Are you still dreaming?

Where have I seen this before?

Thursday, September 7, 2023

I do not recognize the call
coming through the trees
Who are they looking for
Will they hear this

Tuesday, September 5, 2023

ears perk at
the sound of 
a breaking twig
danger
or nothing

Saturday, September 2, 2023

Bright light breaking through the curtains
Such good fortune to be here once more
We will try again 
That much I know to be true

Sunday, August 27, 2023

The Search

You who were lost
is seeking

Searching the nights
and days

for the wordless form
within

Friday, June 16, 2023

Lost and Found

what is this memory
breaching the surface
of the present 

a face 
an evening
a place

two people lost
desperately
trying to be found

Wednesday, May 31, 2023

Summer is here
in all but name.
Warmth behind
the curtain.
Sunlight
upon the house.

Thursday, May 25, 2023

Beyond Time

Dreams passed down across generations
persisting beyond a mere lifetime

Gazing to the skies
Such unoriginal creatures

Dreaming of a world beyond heaven

Saturday, May 6, 2023

Waves of green rustling
in the May morning.

Where is the robin going?

Tuesday, April 18, 2023

The Now

First
there was the word
Then
there was the action
Finally 
there was now

Monday, April 3, 2023

Creation

How lonely
were the gods
that the needed
to create us?

This Life

The minutes
The hours
The days
The nights
The weeks
The months
The seasons
The years
Be patient
Be impatient
Know when
to be one
or the other

Monday, March 27, 2023

Lingering cold breath
Your waiting is not in vain 
Buds will be in bloom 

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Wake

What happened
What broke
between then and now

How does a heart break
How does a soul mend
How far is a mind stretched

It's been a long time
since he broke your heart
since he broke your life

since everything broke
since almost everyone left

We are self-centered creatures
getting on with our days-

lives and memories
lost in our wake

Monday, March 20, 2023

Spring

Just before dawn
I heard their voices
singing before fluttering
away to other branches

Beaming sun
streaming through 
my window

Green buds
readying
for life

Saturday, March 18, 2023

First Thought

Dreams have departed
at dawn's light

First thought-

is this it?

or is it this?

No, it must
be this.

Tuesday, February 28, 2023

White Ocean

A white ocean
spreading silently 
over the forest

Hoof prints reveal 
The unseen 

visible 

Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Every Step

every step moves me forward
to a non-existent destination

move move move
I keep moving

until at last
I stop

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

by the minute

Traveling 
by the minute
into the future

This moment
becomes ash
carried by wind

Friday, January 20, 2023

 With you I have the world. 

 Transition from reality.

Thursday, January 19, 2023

The Rhythm

We move together through the days and nights
reaching the realm of sleep to renew ourselves

Morning comes again and we begin anew the 
routine of our daily lives to make ends meet

Finding meaning can be a struggle for many
We find it and change our minds and find it 

There is truth in the rhythm of the seasons
There is truth in the days and the nights

There is truth in the routine of our days

Saturday, January 7, 2023

Wisdom and Courtesy

 We are all sitting around at the end of the day,

Or the start of morning, getting older, hopefully wiser,

And musing upon days past and those to come. 

 

Sunrise reveals all hidden by the night.

Light can only fall upon the soul that allows it.

I have pried myself upon on the altar of my mistakes.

 

My youth was too ignorant and prideful.

Even now, I wonder if I have truly learned anything.

I hold on to what I must and discard the rest.

 

I don’t blame you for letting me go.

Please allow me the same courtesy.

 

 

Monday, January 2, 2023

darkness has fallen
trees rooted firmly in place
no thaw until spring

Sunday, January 1, 2023

At The Beginning

The sunrise
The yawns
The coffee
       warm and good
The silence 
       of morning
The body
       at rest now moves
The cycle
       complete
                       another
            begins

Saturday, December 31, 2022

At The End

Branches shrouded in early morning mist
Living trees are ghosts
I see them through my window
How does life return 
to their branches
after Winter's embrace?

New Year's Eve

As the hands move across the face
will they cover the eyes
or look at the passing of time

Saturday, December 17, 2022

Ask the Darkness

Burning through the night
Flames on the horizon
You ask the darkness
what next
as it slinks away
until tomorrow

Thursday, December 15, 2022

 Is it a fire or the dawn?

Monday, December 12, 2022

Snow Day

Untouched
the snow rests
covering everything
within sight
It's warm in here
though 
I still wear 
a sweater
Coffee is ready
and so am I

Thursday, December 8, 2022

Collector

Collecting pieces of the present
for future use
Playing it safe for then
I cannot hoard these moments
Trying all the same 
I catch your smile
with my eyes
and let my heart 
hold it close
and closer 
still

Wednesday, December 7, 2022

The Morning After the News

When the world changes
fundamentally so
we must clear a path
for it within ourselves
Welcome the hardship
the burden that is placed
in our hands
We will not see it
as the gift it is
until at last
the lesson lives 
deeply within

Sunday, December 4, 2022

Strange Friend

The loneliness changes
but persists.
It does not mean to harm.
From the corners of my eyes
I can feel it near.
Time to time
I let it approach
and accept its chilly embrace.
My strange friend
shuttling me through the days
and nights.
How steady the company.
An unexpected need
to push through 
all the years.

Saturday, December 3, 2022

Spheres

Tree fingers emerging from the night
Dark blue horizon
Ungulate footsteps moving cautiously
A front door opens
A man emerges
taking in a cold morning breath
The newspaper rests 
at the side of the car.
Warmth of home.
How vast the world.
How universal our concerns
as we live sphere within sphere.

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Don't dwell on what has been lost

but rather think on what you have to gain.

Monday, November 28, 2022

Thus

The story is endless. 

It has always been thus, 

and thus, 

will always be. 

The Trouble with Trouble

The trouble with trouble is that it's always coming by
to say ring the door bell and ask for your time and attention.
They come in, track mud on your clean, white carpet,
which you just had cleaned, and then immediately 
goes to your refrigerator to grab a drink and food
without bothering to ask or say a word.

Trouble doesn't see the big deal. Trouble thinks 
this is perfectly normal. Trouble thinks you need to chill.
You can't. You can't chill, not with that goddamn attitude.
You try and calm yourself down and breathe but that 
will only go so far. The problem isn't you. It's trouble.

You tell trouble to get out. Trouble turns it's head 
and looks at you as if you had just defecated in their coffee.
Just for that, trouble punches your flat screen television
and one of the support screws flies out from the wall.

You've had it! You walk right up to trouble, get in their face
and tell them to get the fuck out of your house! Trouble 
doesn't move right away. It stands there for a minute.

Trouble turns to walk out. They stick their arms out and 
knock everything off your tables and counters. 

They walk out and say, "See you soon."

Saturday, November 19, 2022

The Hollows

 There is nothing to fear. He thought about it for a moment. It wasn't the first time he had heard that phrase ,or a variation of it. Why did it come to mind now? It was mid-morning. He was in no rush for anything, and he hadn't had to work in years. When he worked, he would usually get up early, just before dawn most of the time. He enjoyed the smell of coffee spreading from the kitchen. His wife was alive back then. He used to let her sleep in a little so he'd have some time to himself and give her some extra rest. That was all in the past. Her clothes were still in the closet and drawers. He'd never had the strength to get rid of her. Some part of him still wanted to imagine he'd walk into another room and see her. It never happened. He never thought he'd be a widower. 

When Ophelia passed everyone had him in their thoughts and prayers. Everyone wanted him to know that if needed absolutely anything, to just ask. They all meant well. He just wanted her back. He wanted to be left alone. He got that, eventually. People reached out, wanted to be in touch, but he never reached back, and eventually, they stopped altogether.

He looked out the kitchen window and saw that it was shaping up to be a very beautiful day. "Maybe I'll take a walk later", he thought to himself. 

After his simple oatmeal breakfast and tea he sat in their living room to read one of the books he'd checked out from the library. It was a book about an Earth where people had developed a cheap and easy technology that allowed them to travel to parallel Earths that were largely free of people. "Just imagine", he thought, "...if this were real." He knew what would happen if it existed. It would be the Wild West all over again on an unprecedented scale. People and companies racing to lay claim and strip the resources of these worlds for the benefit of this one. That's what we've done. That's what we've always done. 

Ding-dong. The doorbell rang in that classic way that everyone has heard. It was unusual. Jim Grey, the mailman, never rang, even if he had a large package to deliver. He'd just leave it on the doorstep. He never got solicitors, it was too out of the way to be worth their time. Who was it?

He looked through the keyhole. He was just as surprised at who it was as he was at hearing the door bell. It was Melanie. He opened the door and immediately heard her voice for the first time in a few years."Oh my God! Elliot! I'm so happy to see you!" She reached in and hugged him. It took him a few seconds but he put his arms around her and squeezed. 

After he invited her in he fixed her up a cup of Earl Grey tea with a lump of sugar and just a splash of cream, just how she always liked it. He set the cup in front of her. She looked at him and said, "You still remember." He smiled. "Of course I do."

"I'll be honest, Elliot, I didn't think you'd answer. I haven't heard from you in so long. No one has." That simple fact hung in the air. A pause. A declarative. "You know, Mel, when Ophelia passed away I just didn't know what to do. I didn't want anything. I didn't want anyone around. Everyone was so kind but I couldn't deal with everyone else's expectations of my grief." He took a long breath in and let it out slowly. "I didn't mean to shut everyone out the way I did. It just happened. I don't blame anyone for giving up on me." She picked up the cup from the saucer and took a sip. He never ceased to be amazed at the grace in even the smallest things Mel did. It's just how she'd always been as long he had known her. 

"Elliot. Frank died two years ago. I don't know if you'd heard. So yes, I understand." His stomach dropped. Frank had once been one of his best friends. "It was cancer. When the doctors found it it was already at stage four. They told him with treatment he could have another six to eight months. He didn't go for it. He wanted to live out the days he had left at home with me. They gave him medications for the pain and sent him on his way." This was the price of his sorrow. 

"I'm so sorry, Mel." He reached out for her hand and held it in his. She placed her other hand over his. "I've made peace with Frank's passing. The hardest part was getting rid of his old clothes. I donated most of them to the Goodwill. I did keep a few small things for me, like a couple of his favorite hoodies. You know how he would never go anywhere without wearing one of those damn things." She laughed, just a little bit, saying those words out loud. 

"You know, I've never been able to bring myself to get rid of any of Ophelia's clothes. I've left them in the closet and drawers." She looked at him with compassion, "Oh, Elliot". He thought for a moment. "Would you like to see the closet?" She nodded. Ophelia had a keen eye for always picking out clothes that would look great on her. They weren't necessarily expensive designer pieces, though she had a couple, but they fit her well and suited her personality. He led her to the bedroom and opened the walk-in closet. 

Melanie had always admired Ophelia. She did her best to make sure that she and Frank were there for Elliot after she had passed. Elliot eventually let the waves wash him out to sea. 

He watched Mel as she walked into the closet. Her hand fell upon the red dress that Ophelia had worn at the twentieth anniversary party they had thrown for themselves. Mel remembered feeling just a little envious that night as she watched them dancing across the floor. How could someone so happy in their own marriage feel this way?

"If you want to try any of her clothes on you're more than welcome to. She always thought the world of you." His words hung between them. "Are you sure? Wouldn't that be a little weird for you?" He thought for a moment. "Sometimes it feels like I've been living with her ghost longer than she was alive. I know that's not true, but if you want to see if anything fits then you're more than welcome to try anything on. I wouldn't mind seeing a little part of her being around." She nodded at him and he closed the door behind him.

He sat on the couch and picked up yesterday's newspaper. He hadn't finished reading the article about the current state of the public schools in the state. He always admired Mel's beauty. She didn't like to use much make-up, just enough to highlight her features. 

He heard the doorknob turn as the hinges on the door creaked slightly. Her footsteps were light John the hardwood floor. She stood in front of him with her hands on her hips. The dress fit her just so. The corners of his mouth turned up. "You look just as wonderful as Ophelia did when she wore that at our anniversary party." She tugged at her hips. "I feel like I just barely fit into this dress. She had such a great fashion sense. I always admired that about her."

Mel sat down next to Elliot on the couch. "I don't think I've ever stopped mourning her. When I got home from the service I just didn't feel right being alone at home but I didn't have anywhere else to go, and I really didn't want to be a bother to anyone."

"When Frank died I was besides myself with grief. Everywhere I looked he was there. I had to give my grief it's own space. It carved out a space in me. It carved and carved until I felt like a shell. If it had carved anymore I would have collapsed. you know what I did, Elliot? I started to fill that space up bit by bit. I had to keep living. Frank wouldn't have wanted me to mourn forever. He wanted me to keep living. To find new joy. To do more because I could. It was hard. It was so hard. I was crying my eyes out when I bagged up all his clothes and donated them. But I did." 

"If I had known, I would have reached out, Mel. I'm so fucking sorry."

"Don't be. just don't" He could see the rivers of tears that had flowed down her face.

"I wanted to see you because I wanted you to know. I only regret it took me so long to get here. I know you understand."

"I remember the night of our anniversary party she told me how much you loved the dress. I think you should have it. She would have wanted to see it out in the world and not just sitting in the closet."

"You sure?" she said.

"Yes." A wave of silence sat between them. An understanding that needed no language and could fill all the hollows.

11/18/22