Unintended Balance

In less than a day
I thought of elementary school
far more
than at any time
since I had been in there.

One of my oldest
and dearest
of friends
had just given birth
to a beautiful boy.

I was ecstatic
at the news.
I felt nothing
but joy
at such good tidings
for her.

A few hours later
I heard news
of a former classmate
who had just died
from cancer.

Honestly,
I felt very little.
I did not hate him
nor did I love him.

We were of the same age
and faith, but we were never close.

I last saw him over 12 years ago
in passing.

I sit here wondering
about the delicate balance
between being
and un-being.

It is a line far thinner than
any of us can admit.

I sweat
just enough
to wipe the drops
from my brow

and shutter
the words on this
page.

The laughs and squeals
of a happy child
can be the best music

This day must pass

and for that

I feel an unending

sadness and joy. 

Visitation

I told my Aunt G____ that I wanted to visit
my grandparents.
I told her that I wanted
to go by myself.
She insisted she should go with me.
I hesitated but agreed.

I tied my sneakers and wore a pair
of comfortable shorts. It was
a warm day after all.

I met her at the door.
She had an umbrella with her
to protect her from the blazing
midday sun.

We began to walk down
the gravel road that cut through
our town. It was calm
except for the occasional sound
of a passing car.

We walked into a small market
to buy a couple of votive candles
and a book of matches
and were on our way.

As we reached the outskirts
of the town we passed
a shrine for the Virgin Mary
and walked on.

Finally, we came to a gravel path.
Beyond that point lay nothing
but jungle stretching for miles
until the next closest town.

We walked down the gravel path
until at last we reached the gates.
We sat at the benches for a moment
before pressing on.

As we walked through the gates
I could only marvel at the pure stillness.
We turned to the left until at last
we faced their graves.

My grandfather, Alfonzo,
had died first. I was in high school
when he passed. My grandmother,
Donata, passed only a few years ago.

I set the candles down
and lit their wicks.
My aunt was watching in silence.

When I was done
I stood there for a few moments
and thought about all I knew,
and mostly,
all I didn't know about them.

I knew that without them
I could not be there at that moment.

I knew there had been many sacrifices
by them to provide a better life
for my Father.

Even he had to leave them
to find his own place in this world.

I turned to my Aunt
and we walked back up the gravel path
to the main road

back to my grandparent's home
to have lunch with my Mother
and her parents.

Account

If it's not loud it doesn't matter
If I can hear 
                    then I'm alive
Sweating skin
Clothes damp
Swagger in the hips
Drink to your lips
Alive and living
Dreaming  
                Spinning
Late tonight
just darkness 
         and ringing

Catch The Day In Your Teeth

Horizon lines unbound
   from my sight
Cut the sky apart
Tear down Heaven
Rebuild it in Hell
Horizon reborn
Dies every night
Live again
These bloody rivers
Flowing into the ocean
and out again
Flowing in and out
again
again
again
Catch the dawn
in your mouth

In Brief

Open the artery
Bleeding fountain
Pumping machine
Running dry
Running dry
Born to live
Bound to die

Living is dangerous

Dying is safe

Age of New Darkness

Dedication

I decided to write you a poem
but then I saw that it wasn't good enough
to send. I started to write another one
and drew the same conclusion.
I began to write this one and decided
no matter the outcome it would be
good enough to tell you
I love you and how I can't
tell you that enough.
This time together will outlast us both.
I love you
I love you
I love you
Do not forget how much
I have loved you and
Love you still.

What matters?

Years pass through me

That's to be expected

This time is precious

And to be spent

As best we can manage

The process of learning

the value of what matters

is one that has only one end

momentum

the days are too numerous behind us
as we are borne forward by
the momentum of self-preservation

make sure your grow accustomed to
death, marriage, births, and divorces,
they are coming towards you
as surely as the ceaseless wind

do you remember when you told me
you didn't believe in the wind?
a wry smiled crossed your face
as your hair was tousled by the wind