Of Human Need.

To seek and experience the divine.

True Consciousness Can Only Expand.

A language I can hear but
cannot understand.
Words of praise and healing-
your voice touches me
raises me to awareness

I am no ghost 
but I can speak to the wind
and hear it's words

Sunlight clear my mind 
of the distractions I have allowed

What was the wind saying?

fitful sleep
the wind spoke
in endless conversation
through the night
I awaken early
unable to ignore
the shifting words
through the trees
what now
what words
what needs to be said

I wake to morning
Sounds of wind and birds in trees
Sun smiling on me

Question at Morning

I've begun to wake and ask myself
What kind of world do I wish to live in?
A good world. A better world.
Those are my honest answers.
How to be good?
How to make the world better?
Grand deeds are wonderful
but we live in a simple reality
day by day. To make small
impressions on our selves
and those we come across
that is how we start.
We all suffer.
We cannot know or judge
the extent of that in others
we do not know.
We must make it an imperative
to bring joy and alleviate
the suffering of all.
Greater compassion
is what we must inhabit
and practice to all
of our sisters and brothers.

Dear Child

How I delight in you!
Your mere existence
is an irreplaceable joy to me.
You may not remember
the days you feel asleep
resting your head
on my chest
but I will remember for you.
Your small hands,
your little heartbeat,
your wide smile,
will always
have home within me.

Ecstatic Revelation. 

Mantra from the Track

Unify in words, 
thoughts, 
and actions.
Make the change.
Make the change.
Make the change. 

Let the river flow through me and find it's way
through my hands. I am awake and searching.
These days will not be in vain. What am I
offering to this plane? The energy within.

To live is to seek connection
both knowing and unknowingly.
Nature, family, friendship, art,
all call us towards union.
The present is the path
towards tomorrow,
choose connection.

Clarify the Path 

second birth

What stirs
What awakens
What dares show it's face
to the dawning day
This self I know
aches for another birth
Renewed heart and promise
Dry the water on my body
Breathing deep again
Brand new eyes

multitudes

The heart of this life is calling to me
Voice in multitudes
A choir of pure exaltation
Calling me to faith
Belief in more than mere I
Connection to the Sun and Moon
To their rise and setting
From dirt I came to life
To it I shall return
This brief time
is passing and I seek
answers I do not expect
to receive. I seek
because I must
because this journey
could take many lifetimes.

Galaxy

I wake up and ask myself
What kind of world do I wish to live in
A good one, I tell myself, a good one.
How far will we travel on this journey
together? I do not know, I cannot know
but I will keep walking, keep moving,
as long as I can, as long as this life will
allow, if you can be the one by my side.
I must be like the river that flows forever.

I wake and feel your body pressed to mine.
Your chest rises and falls with each subtle
breath. I place a hand on your back and
move it slowly down as a smile spreads
across your face. I listen to you breathe.
I can hear the birds in the trees outside.
Wonder what they are saying to us.
They always ask questions but we never
answer. They are used to our silence as
we are used to their voices.

Beyond this room the world looms over
us but for these moments we are our own
galaxy and constellations.

Morning Reminder

I must remember and remind myself daily of the distance
of the journey on which I am. I must not let myself grow
disheartened. I must remember that on occasion I will
falter but that I must recover and persist. This journey will
be months and years in the making. It is a way of letting
myself become more open and whole. I must allow myself
to be more open, honest, and vulnerable to those I love
most. I need to always remember that change is always
possible within myself. To be human, to live and know
oneself, is a process of constant struggle and renewal.
To believe otherwise would be foolish. I struggle with
myself but I must use this to know myself more fully.
This is possible but must include concerted effort to be
mindful of ones own actions and thoughts.

before the drive

Sitting in my car
looking through the windshield
flecked with rain 
resting on the glass
The world glimmers wetly
for a moment 
before I turn on the wipers
and see things as 
they are once more

journey

I've got miles to go 
and promises to keep
and promises to keep
and miles to go

wholeness

Sun and Sky
Light and Warmth
Birds and Trees
Seeking light within
Wholeness

How does the soul travel?

Do you want true emotion and joy
or a facsimile of it?

Do not forget the lessons
that brought you here. 

To Be Better

Fragile     Imperfect

I as simply human

Wishing to be no slave to my vices

Desiring to be the wiser man

How long til then

How about now

    I said to myself

How about now

Into Light Once Again

Into the light I have woken
once again
What is there that I seek
in this world of
crystal dreams
and shadow visages
I seek to change my fortunes
and turn the tides
against my darker self
What I desire
is simplicity
but am I
wise enough
to strip myself
of the trappings I
have grown to love

Rearranging the beach
one grain of sand at a time. 

Easter Morning Meditations

Must my shadow be so dark
From my bed I rise into another dawn
What will this life hold for me
in these years of passing life
Focusing light into a point
so bright that it won't be denied

strings plucked so vibrantly
as the drums bubble over like waves
invocation to peace and mindfulness
from here life begins   peace of heart
peace of mind   does the soul alight
in you now  close your eyes and listen
this place you have wished to be has
always been within  listen to the still
ness of life   listen  here  now  here
let it flow from crown to toe sunlight
washing over you  filling you  now it
becomes you  free yourself from that
which brings you harm  words repeat
in quiet breaths  focusing thoughts
the sound which calls you to be more
more than merely living  to be alive
to live with honesty and humility
to live with the truth of life itself
invitation to higher connection
thoughts which bring peace
words which bring serenity
all that we are and will yet be
past and future selves in one being
awake at the shore and overwhelmed
rise and fall of the tide  soft white
peaks dissipate  create a trail for
others to follow words like breath
within me and without be unafraid
my better nature is fighting for the light
remember the lessons of your father

Those who can hear
Those who can feel
cannot doubt that which flows through

If my heart is free
There is no mistaking it
Glowing inner light

Slow march to summer
Days of endless warmth and youth
Watching starry nights

Feeling so in love
With the memories of us
To hold you once more

He plays his guitar
Sings sweet words over his strings
His eyes closed tightly

Bird lands on the branch
Head flits back and forth to see
Chirps and flies away

Remember your lips
Pressed against me so tightly
Tasting your sweetness

Mexican mornings
Slow waking into the day
Finding myself here

The Dream, Part 5

I left my gracious host and got back into the boat.
Once I was inside it began to move once more.
We passed the tree and moved forward. The boat
navigated the snags of roots deftly as before. Like
before I was unsure of how much time had passed
or was passing. Eventually another large tree came
into view. It was not as large but it was still imposing.
There was an otherworldly glow in the water around
it. The boat came to a stop before it. I looked out the
side and saw light radiating from the water. I stood
there for a few moments and wondered what was
next. At last I decided to jump in as He had said.
As I jumped the cool water enveloped me. After a
moment I could see the bright light focused directly
below me. I swan past the roots and to it as quickly
as I could. It kept growing stronger in it's brightness
and intensity. The light began to overwhelm my
vision but I kept pushing towards it. At last, I felt
myself fully in the light and not sure what to do
I opened my mouth and closed my eyes.
Finally, I opened my eyes.

The Dream, Part 4

The boat arrived at the landing that led to the door.
I stood up and felt the boat sit as perfectly still as
land. A small wooden walkway led directly to the
entrance. The sense of warmth was palpable.
The door was left cracked open. I knocked and
pushed it open slowly. Stepping inside I could
see candles lighting every surface. Shelves were
covering all the walls and were filled with books
upon books. None were dusty. I heard a faint foot
step into the room. "You're here. I'm glad you
were able to make it." he said. He appeared to be
an older man in his late sixties. Salt and pepper
hair, long but well groomed gray beard, well worn
brown pants, a green flannel shirt, and a voice that
exuded comfort and calm. I asked him what his
name was. "Does my name really matter? I can
tell you my name is Joseph but you would have no
way to know I am lying. Our names matter little.
My name, even less. I know what your name is
but I have no need to use it." I looked at him
and asked "Can I call you anything?" "Of course"
he said, "Whatever makes you feel at ease."
I thought for a moment and asked "What is this
place? Why am I here?" He sat down in an old
overstuffed chair and motioned for me to sit on
the couch across from him. "This place...this
place clears your thoughts from everything
that seeks to disrupt you. The calm waters and
the boundless gray skies are not meant to scare
or threaten you. They are meant to clear your
mind of everything. Everything that troubled or
disturbed you, everything good and bad, all of
this has been gradually cleansed from your
thoughts. Only when this has been accomplished
will you first see the roots and began your journey
here. As to why you are here, well, that is some
thing you can answer." I had to think about it for
a moment and I said one word, "Clarity."
He nodded affirmatively. "The clarity of mind you
now have can now be taken with you to where
you need to go. Do you believe yourself to be
ready?" he said. I nodded. If this this is true
then you must go back to the boat. It will take you
to the tree of glowing water. When you arrive
to it you will see light coming from under it's roots.
You must swim towards it and follow it. That
is what you must do."

The Dream, Part 3

As the boat continued past the gnarled root I began
to wonder what it had been part of. What kind of
life had once existed here. I gazed into the distance
and saw nothing else like for some time. Right before
I was going to lay down I once again saw the familiar
shaped of a gnarled root come into view. It was not
merely a root this time. A submerged field of these
roots lay ahead. The boat continued on. Once we
were close it became apparent that the boat was
going to enter this labyrinth of roots. I was worried
at first but the boat began to steer through as easily
as it were still moving in a straight line. I looked at
all the roots in their various twists and formations.
There was an odd beauty to them I could not resist.
How long we moved through this I do not know.
It can't be known. After much time I saw something
loom further ahead. Something that seemed at once
familiar but unknown. There at the far reach was a
magnificent tree whose trunk was a large and vast
thing. It's roots stretched in all directions. There was
something I had not seen in all this time- light.
There was a window and door hewn into the vast
body of the tree and light was burning warm and
bright. The boat began to slow as it grew closer.

The Dream, Part 2

And so I drifted. I drifted until I did not know if it
was possible to drift any more. I do not know if time
existed, if I drifted for days, weeks, or years. I could
have drifted for decades and felt the same. I never
felt hunger or pain. I existed purely adrift. The waters
never moved beyond the small rippling wake behind
me as the boat and I moved through. There was never
anything to see beyond the horizon. It was as though
it were a world of pure water. The water was devoid
of fish or any creatures that I could see. When I grew
sick of watching the water I would watch the vast
uninterrupted sky. A gray that neither felt brooding
nor welcoming. It stared with the unblinking eye of
whatever gods claimed this world. After an unknowable
amount of time passed at last something came into view
from the horizon. It was an odd shape jutting from the
water. Once I was closer I was able to see that it was
the gnarled root of something that may have been a
tree. The boat did not stop. It continued along as if
there was a more important place to be.

The Dream, Part 1

In this dream I wasn't running. In fact, nothing of the sort
was even happening. It was quite different than that.

I opened my eyes and immediately saw boundless gray sky.
Formless, it stretched across vast and uninterrupted. It was
quiet and still. I sat up and realized I was in a small boat. It
felt like perhaps it was more of an old lifeboat than anything.
In every direction I could see there was nothing but still water.
I could see no sight of land. I felt a slight motion in the water
and the boat began to very slowly move along. Aside from
the slight motion of the boat there was no other kind of action
or sound to be heard. It was a stillness so all encompassing
that it felt absolutely total. There was a strange beauty to it.
As far as I could tell there was no day or night. The hours
passed with no change to the sky or light. It simply was.
I lay down on my back and closed my eyes. I focused on
my breathing. I tried to keep my breath measured and steady.

Reminders for Myself

A better self is possible.
Focus on the positive.
Do not surrender to despair.
Do not give in to vice.
Be positive in your energy.
Focus on what moves you forward.
This life is but a brief time.
Carry on.

This Moment in Time

What will you sacrifice

to lead the life

you profess

to want?

Marrow

I feel as though I cannot stay asleep.
My mind is remembering the mornings
at my grandparents house in Yucatan.
My two young cousins would already
be at school. Aunt C would be opening
the store while Aunt G would most likely
be getting food for breakfast. My grand-
parents would be comfortably asleep.
If I hadn't already woken up I probably
would be shortly. The bell in the town
square would toll and announcements
would be made.

This is where my spirit rises.
My blood flows from here.

I listen to the birds speaking
and become calmed by their voices.

The smell of the ground and the warmth
of the air are comfortable.

Bones of my ancestors are buried here.
I honor their memory with each return.

My past and future are tied with
the same thread.

Eating breakfast together with my aunts
at the table just outside the kitchen. A calm
routine. The cats lounge nearby.

My life reduced to the marrow.
Simplicity.

plucking

plucking gray hairs as though they were weeds in the field
what does this simple act say about aging and vanity
plucked from the head they now rest on black desk top
another morning is here in such an ordinary way
plucking hairs listening to music letting it all simply be

early morning drive
the city still sleeps in peace
many miles to go 

How many miles to the sea?
How many miles until we are alone together?

Reverse Writing

I am ready. 
I am here.
What more is needed?

Can one write
by merely
erasing words
from the page?

The answer
may surprise 
but it is 

yes.

Light unfurls across the sky
like a scroll waiting to be read.

In these hours of peace
we sit in stillness.

Morning Freewrite 4/5/17

Into this waking world once again You ask me a question
and I cannot answer it I think about it for a moment and
nothing still comes to mind I say I do not know and leave
it at that Later on as I lay in bed I think about it and still
can think of nothing Nothing is a natural state To be left
empty is to be prepared to be filled and live once more
That is the secret and it is no secret at all I hear music sung
in Portuguese and my heart begins to dream Beautiful
words and tongue combined to make me wonder of all
the promises of life and the possibilities that have long gone
I hear songs from my youth and think of all the ways
things have been and could yet still be I find beauty to be
irresistible yet I only observe it with curiosity I always
try to let it approach first The mind races with possibilities
unless it has no rush If it is in now rush they stream
steadily much like leafing through the photos in an
album that has been gently faded by time To be in love
and not be bound to it To belong to each other but to
be apart always To revel in sweetness We woke up
in a hotel room with the sunlight streaming through
Your body was next to mine  I was happy in a way
I haven't been since Truth is embedded everywhere
To be kind is no small act I cannot write a song but
my heart can still sing It has a voice and it will not
allow itself to live in silent desperation

The Shadow of Kukulcan. 

Buenos dias, Tunkas

You wake up in a hammock.
It is early enough
but the kids have already gone to school.
Your feet find the ground
as you steady yourself upright.
There is already warmth to be felt
in the morning air.
The day will only grow warmer.
You see your aunt and grandma
and say good morning.
Grandpa is still asleep.
You walk outside and hear
the birds chattering in the trees
but you are glad to hear them.
The bells tolls in the town square.
People are riding their bikes
down the streets, getting breakfast
ready. Life is moving as fast
as it needs to, no more.
Can you picture it?
Do you wish to be there?
I do. I do.

Reasons

How much sense do my reasons make 
if I were to tell you why I write, why
I make music? 

They may not make sense to you, or 
even seem justifiable. It doesn't matter
much to me, really. 

I have to. I cannot let this part of me die.
I give it life as often as I can in order to
give myself life. 

It is both blood and water. It is inspiration
and heartache. It is rapture and catharsis.
It is to be as fully human as possible. 

Calling

Water must move
Can you hear the shifting of the tides
A voice speaking from within
Words you are straining to understand
Calling you all the same 

Not Enough

She stumbles in through the front door
and sits at the stool next to me
I take a pull off my bottle sitting next to
my whiskey on the rocks.
She looks at me and looks to her left,
her body lurching like someone
whose blood has grown too dizzy.
Her and the bartender make eye contact.
She tries to order a drink. The bartender
isn't having it. She's cut off before a first
order. "I'll serve you but I'll only serve
you water. You're already too drunk."
I take a small sip of whiskey.
She's mad. She's belligerent. She's the
kind of drunk where memory has ceased
to function, where reason has been
overwhelmed and surrendered
to an invading force. The replay
of the days games are playing
on the TV's around the bar. Rap music
is playing on the jukebox. Voices
and cigarette smoke blend together
effortlessly. She wants her drink.
She wants her drink now. She looks
at the bartender and says
"Is it my hairy cunt?"
For a moment the bartender says
nothing. "No, it's because you're
drunk." She walks away to take
care of an order on the opposite
end of the bar.
My drinks are sweating.
I listen to the sounds blend together
so seamlessly that soon enough
I hear nothing at all.

Never Underestimate 
the Invisible War.

You want
Rebirth & Revelation

Short Thoughts on the Road

We had been driving for the better part of a day
and were now deep north in the state. Around us
were a seemingly endless expanse of forest. Traffic
was nearly non-existent. It was hard to believe this
was the same state, much less the same world. It
was easy to watch the landscape and let your mind
dream. The things you would do on your own or
together with friends. Hiking through and finding
a lake and setting up camp on it's shore for the night.
To live and wander, to move without restriction.
We had to make time. We had to get to the next
city and we had just a few more hours to do it.
Sitting in the back of the van you would listen to
music, drink, get stoned, nap, or some combination
of all of the mentioned activities. As beautiful as
the land is, the hours spent over blacktop could
deaden the soul. We lived for those hours at our
destination, getting out, checking in, and starting
the process of setting up for that evenings show.
The road has a way of bringing out the best and
worst in everyone given enough time.

behind / in front

quantify the years until numbers
become meaningless
all of time sits behind 
and in front of us
this moment glowing in amber

soft morning

soft morning
find me
             unmasked
before
I place the face
   I wear on

see the creases
in my skin
the grey in my hair

day will compel me
to move forward

all I desire
is the freedom
of quiet

the touch of
the one whom
I miss