Morning 4/30/18

You are here.
This is now.
This present
is forever.

You worry about the future.
Do not believe the illusion.
Life was never supposed
to be so difficult for us.

We are all instruments in service of what we are creating.

Chime chime in time
Bells chime chime in time
In time chime chime

Still Human

This longing
has never left

It remains closer
than ever

I can feel it
touch my cheek

a nail hard
against me

Still human
after all

these years

Weightless

Weightless in your arms
No space
No birth
No death
Here
Now
Weightless in your arms
The only moment

Pause

Flying down from smeared pastel skies

Landing on quivering branch

holding on to it's leaves

Listening intently

Head turns this way

and that

Watched and watching

Instinct and reaction

Flight into air 

once again

Run with the Wind

Walking alone down the hallway of memory
I find you there leaning against the wall
staring at the picture of horses running through
the fields I stand next to you and we both say
nothing at all At last you begin to walk alone
again Or so it seems I stand there staring at
the horses running with the wind

Home & Light

Turning light into life
Another normal morning
Daylight daylight
This life we find within
This light we light within
I am here
I am home

Not A Poem

I wanted to write a poem but instead
began to write this and
it could still be a poem
if I found the right words
and images for you
to imagine as you read
the words out loud like
color
morning
dew
warmth
love
mist
tree
leaves
birds

Morning 4/23/18

Dreaming and waking
Finding you are not there
Alone in an empty bed
Grey sky morning
Desire demands fulfillment
but desire doesn't always
understand reality

Working through these days and surviving it all
Persisting

Turn on the lights in the room
Illuminate the corners
See what needs to be found

Morning 4/22/18

It's killing you
It's killing me
It's killing us
and we know the truth
but we keep on living like this
Caught in our patterns
We see our shadows
Keep living like this
We ought to know better
and we do


Why were you in my dreams last?
It took me a moment to realize it was you.
Where were we going?
Where were we at?
Nebulous haze of subconsciousness.

Grow wise enough to know the difference between love and desire.

I need to purge myself of all my sins and vice
Cleanse my body and soul
Find the means to start over
Be the better self I know lives within

Calling out to you through the distance we've made
Can you hear my voice or will it be unheard

Image and Memory

Sitting there smiling at the camera
Chubby faced with a lifetime ahead

Dressed up and standing next to your
prom date on the cusp of adulthood

A slightly out of focus picture of you
and three of your oldest friends

during your college years Young drunk
and not yet fully encumbered

in the mire of adult responsibilities
Collected moments of a life

Sitting on a weekend morning
and setting these thoughts to a page

I anticipate many years ahead
Many more memories to be pondered

Is it so Is it so Will it be so
I wonder I wonder and hope

day

Hours of night
slipped away as
the morning came

The day is here
and will be gone
soon and sooner

This Morning's Rain

Waking from the dream
Pitter-patter sounds of
falling water
drift into my ears
Unexpected grey
blankets the morning sky
Today is here
like always
Now
is the time
It always is

My Sleeping Niece

I pass by your bed and
see you sleeping peacefully.
Having known you
since your birth
I am amazed by you.
You have the joy
and freedom
of life this fully within.
Your exuberance
is infectious
and at times
all I can do is smile
when you call me
or ask a question.
I want you to dream
and not be cumbered
by the ambition
you hold. Dream
as much and as boldly
as you can, Little One.
Your Uncle is here,
and he wants you
to have the world
if you want it.

Stop Running, Start Changing

What am I running from
What am I afraid of
Why do I drink so much
Why do I constantly worry
Why do I do this to my body
Easy and temporary answers
to real and deep rooted
problems are foolish
and short sighted
They show an inability
to reign in the worst
of my human tendencies
There is so much to be afraid of
My mortality
My finances
My health
My future
Why not take charge
of these things
Why not take the reigns
of what no one else
can or should lead?
A healthy body
A healthy spirit
can be found in action
and moderation
If you are healthy
in body and spirit
you can do more
to help others
Fear can be overcome
Fear is a temporary state
Resolve to be less fearful
Resolve to be what
you have always seen
yourself to be

The Weight

Do not cry
be angry
or lament
what you are

No one has made
the choices of our
actions but us
alone

We alone
bear their weight
in body and spirit

If you are unhappy
with your current
state of being
then make the slow
and steady choices
to change
and be more
than the limitations
we place on
ourselves

Morning 4/17/18

Everything will be beautiful again
and when it is
everything you have suffered
will lead you to know
this was the reason

Listening to the same song
Over and over
Fingers gently pushing down
on black and white keys
A voice singing into the air
I close my eyes
Over and over
Her words seep into my marrow
I hold them close
Closer than any words
I have

Amber

Caught in the amber
A moving world
You remain frozen
Watching everything
Come and go

Your Mileage May Vary

You are the master of your own happiness
but do you actually understand what
that truly means?

Happiness is not an object of scarcity
that has come into your possession.

Happiness is not pure bodily pleasure.

Happiness is a chameleon as it bounds
through us all.

Happiness can endure change because
it is malleable.

Happiness is not what we hold on to,
it is what we give away.

You are asking yourself
"What makes you think you know
what happiness is?

I don't.

I know what I believe it to be.

YMMV.

Animal Myths

A Brief History of Nothing

Bound

My memory is bound
to this body
My body is bound
to this world
My life is bound
to the finite

Bound to this life
we are conscious
of our fragile gift

I woke up and felt
for your body
I listened close
and could hear you
in the kitchen

Bound to you
I am fortunate
for the gift
and everything
it has brought

searching for the truth within myself

All the ghosts of who I've been come and drift away.


Your lips are honey covering me
Hands are on expedition
to feel the known world

Confidence and Self-Doubt
Fraternal Twins
Bound together
Living within us

Beat

There is a beat in your chest
There are breaths in
                         and out
       of your lungs
This life
overwhelms
but
      if you go to a quiet place
and listen
very carefully
the miracle
                  reveals itself
over and over
Then
         you will never for get
no matter
the sounds
or sorrow

ill ease

The sense of ill ease
Creeping through your blood
It's voice soft and unsettling
You listen as though there was a choice
You heed it but remain unsure
Of any action
Blood chills in our warm flesh

turning wheels
caught in place
turning
turning
turning

Morning 4/9/18

Time is the subject of our displacement

Truth is canonical

Repetition
Clapping
Singing
Chanting
Voices
Voices
Voices
Incant
Incite
Invoke

The words are here
They have always been here
They will always be here

If it doesn't feel good anymore don't bother with it
This love was everything
Only nothing remains

Everything Repeating

The story is unfolding as it does every day. Pages written in silence.
We write and live and write again and again. You wanted me in
your bed. Is that dream or memory? My arm around your body.
A different Sunday many months ago driving a far distance. I went
to find something. I wasn't sure what it was or if it would even be
there. When I arrived I knew it was close. When I entered the temple
I silenced myself as best I could. I could hear the wind through the
windows. We listened and we sang. Is the answer so simple? My
mind flips back to a kiss goodbye. Unexpected but it was warm
and I could taste your sweetness. Surviving through everything that
has yet to kill us. There are choices to make. How soon are they?
Sooner than I would care for. Desert heat purifies righteous and
the unjust alike. The heat scorched land is impartial. Sweat and
tears alike evaporate. I held you as you cried. Your head resting
on my chest. So many things having fallen apart yet what more
is there that could have been done? The hour was late. The ice
had almost melted away in our glasses. These thoughts could
keep me awake all night if I let them. Everything repeating in
my mind. Over and over. How long is this lifetime? Long enough.
Too short. Never enough time for everything. Make a choice.

whisper

Outside my window the leaves wave to me
Asking me to come outside
to get closer
they have something to say
but can only whisper it in my ear
I get out of my chair
and walk to greet them
Closer they say
Closer
Then voices as old existence
speaking clearly
imploring
to listen and never repeat
their words
So I haven't

The Restless

Striving against the odds

Railing against reality

We band together in our expressive plight 

Staring out a van window as miles blur with time

Days pass unexamined

Yet there is a the sound of creation binding us to another

From our hands

From our throats

It comes soothing or raw

Clothes damp with sweat

Breath being caught again

Loud rooms of catharsis

Hope and despair amplified 

Ears deafened

In bed waiting for sleep

but the sound of tones

ringing out

will bring us to the darklands

Our faith punished 

and rewarded

All we ever wanted

Someone has noticed 

tears

Tears fall
like memories
disappearing
Don't cry
more
than you
have to
Our lives
are this
and
nothing
more
Letting go
Letting go
Let go

interbeing

What of this dreaming world
Is it ready to wake
Does it need more rest
///eyelids fluttering///
Subconsciousness
Consciousness

No tears to trail behind
Just memory
washed
away

voices voices

With whose voice do you speak?
The one I was given.
But is it truly mine?
Does it matter?
Are these mine own words?
I believe so.
I know.
This morning
This day
is yet beginning.
How many more thoughts
How many more words
are there to go?

We Are God

I am God
You are God
We have always been God
I never believed this
You never believed this
We do not need faith to know
that we are God incarnate
We do not need religion to
live our lives fully
We do not need to be immortal
or omniscient
we need simply to exist
to be present
in the present
to make the choices
for the paths we wish to seek
We are God
We always will be God
Remember your name
Remember our name
It is here on your tongue
Say a prayer
Answer it

The Lovers

How long were you asleep?
Did you see what you needed to see?
Was there nothing?
Was it all peace and darkness?

I dreamt of you in the darkness.
We were in bed beneathe the blankets
and your arm was draped
across my chest.
I listened to you breathe
and stroked your hair.
Time meant nothing.
We stayed there forever.