9/9/9

It is not really

an end

at all.

It is a

transition.

As often as words

may be spoken

an equal number

of times I abstain

from uttering them.

I value silence

so that my mind

may run.

So many voices

all speaking,

words tumbling out

like a child

throwing

building blocks

all over the room,

tossed so carelessly.

I can only grasp

my silence

tighter

not wishing to be

part of such children.

Recovery

We poison ourselves far too readily

in the name of relaxation or revelry.

__________________________

The internal world

is changing.

Overdue

and a necessary need

it falls into place

like intersecting lines

forming

sacred geometry.

_______________

Red Dress

Your red dress

made me dream.

In your arms,

held close

its hard to believe

how long its been.

Our skin oozing

the sweet relief

we have partaken

among friends

on such a hot

summer day.

Get Ready

The Safety Of Years

The years

pile up

like an accident

on the freeway,

becoming

sights to be

gawked at from

the safety

of your car.

The traffic clears

and the road opens wide

as you quickly gain

velocity.

The thought lingers

in your head,

you wonder

about the

accident

knowing that

on any other day

it could be

you.

A Night Of Salvation

Bar Scene

The hours of labor

have eaten away

the paths to reason.

A familiar place

friendly to those

in need of a moments

respite.

Her name is Sarah.

A whiskey

and

A beer.

She sets

on the counter

a cardboard coaster

shielding

the wood

from the

cool of the icy bottle.

Nectar and glass touch

the lips

as the fiery libation

pounds its way

down the gullet.

Sweet relief,

sweet revelation.

The music plays overhead,

it is of no consequence.

Words thrown about

in conversation

quickly become

a microcosmic babel

of tongues.

Quickly

the glass is emptied,

the bottle drained,

warming its

barren womb.

Sounds brighten

as the edge is softened

by God' s proof of his love.

Another shot glass,

another bottle.

The left hand

trembles a bit

as it reaches toward

the bottle.

It spills forth

a mouthful of brewed yeast.

It spreads itself on the counter

as a soaked rag

retrieves its aborted contents.

The hand steadies itself

as it reaches once more.

Half way down the bottle

the glass is drained

in a feeling of flame.

Lips reach forth once more

as if aching for the kiss

of a lost lover.

The final drop

touches tongue

and the illusion

revealed for what it is.

A certain warmth

is born,

then spreads

to extremities

waiting for their relief.

Feet touch ground

as the body steadies

itself.

Sarah was her name.

The stool is emptied

as life is muted once more

to make it bearable

to us,

the maddest of men.

Parts, Pieces, Scraps

(an incomplete piece)*

Let it run up your spine

and electrify

your skin.

A mantra

so sweet

so beautiful

so simple

it cuts to the heart

without trouble.

Hearts beating together,

voices

singing en masse.

The ultimate expression

of love and

unity.

*not happy with how its gone with this particular piece

but i also dont want to entirely scrap it so it sits here in

its flawed and unfinished glory.

Our present tense

could not be any more

different than

the past tense

we once shared.

You never realize

how fleeting your

youth truly is

until you watch

another's unfold

before your eyes.

Heat Induced

Expectations

We died so young

we never had a chance to live.

Buried prematurely

under the weight of green

and expectation,

our fate was sealed

before the final breath.

Is that envy in your eyes?

Buried above ground

our flesh rots

as it still moves.

Hair falling out,

skin sags so

gloriously.

Tell the children,

tell the children.

Thoughts Of A Young Man

I think of you

time to time

as I remember

the good things in life.

Dreaming of what

we could do

on a lonely day

takes me to a better place.

I can still see you

sitting on the floor,

legs crossed,

uncrossing,

revealing your

soft flesh.

Oh,

the things done

with that memory.

Wyatt

Wyatt

Dying

sad and alone,

too young to know

better.

Dying

and not understanding,

alone and fearful

far from those

who love you.

What words

could there be

to describe

the sadness

the heartache

of this newly

minted void?

http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/20742620/detail.html

Shititout

IDGI

Behind the hype

where is the substance?

Your fashion speaks

louder

than the amplification

you bear.

You are the cliche

I rail against.

Retreading paths

so worn

they have been

paved over.

Value

What is it worth?

Not much

or

quite a bit.

It depends on

who you

ask.

We can never

agree

on much of

anything

other than

get out of

my way.

Arson Our Son

Summer of this Year

It is becoming the Hell

they have always made it out to be.

Trapped like ants in a farm

of curving concrete

we watch the fires

consume.

The water to the west will not

save us,

the desert to the east will only

hasten our end.

So we sit here

on the endless concrete

waiting together

for the inevitable.

The Limits Of

Drain the blood

Just

allow me

this one

request,

No?

What more do

I have left to say?

Feed me honesty,

not lies of omission

if the trust begins

to carve canyons

through itself.

Age Is Cruel But Just

Age Is Cruel But Just.

We are of great importance to ourselves.

I'd rather be a shark

in constant motion

than an anemone

at the bottom of the sea.

I play with words

the way I would

with my children.

The Unintentional Martyr

A Remembrance of Neda

The world never knew you

beyond those final moments.

Your martyrdom unintentional,

the blood far too real.

The air has grown stagnant over

the land as the reigns of power

loosened, then pulled tighter.

A noose choking you

but unwilling to kill you.

What now?

Your rest eternal,

the struggle never ending.

When will the wind return?

The Beatles Called It A Warm Gun

What We Want

We are all simple creatures

at heart.

We search for the same thing

under different names

through different ages.

It is all the same simple

thing that pushes us forward

and allows our kind

to carry on.

The simple pursuit of...

Advice for ______ _______. RE: Life

Salvation is found within.

You are experiencing now

what many of us find out

only through years of wandering the wilderness.

The search within is never ending.

Don't worry about the tastes of others, keep your mind open.

That will make you bloom.

Memories will serve you well, do not deny the past.

Embrace it and let your tears flow freely.

Do not feel like a fool for any supposed missteps.

Don't worry about your vanity, your awareness proves a greater depth.

Watch movies alone or only with a small cast of hand picked riff raff.

It never gets easier, it sometimes gets harder but we press on regardless.

Always be selfless and sometimes be selfish.

Embrace your loves, whatever they may be.

When The Wonder Ceases

That Which Purifies

It is raining a soft ash

over the city.

It has been very warm lately.

Two firefighters have perished.

One a married man with

two adult children,

the other

only 35,

married,

and only weeks

away from becoming

a father for the first time.

The work of God's hand

is undone by rabid

sparks feeding a

senseless hunger,

one we cannot

understand.

We were so alone once.

Cowering beneath darkness

waiting for the first ray to break.

It is no wonder we have worshipped

Apollo, Ra, Ah Kin and Uriel.

It burns closer by the moment

living to consume

until the whole world

is ablaze.

When The Wanderer Ceases

swimming through a sea

of strange faces

you come at me

like a bomb.

Nighttime Living By The Sea

A sea of darkness surrounds us,

as the music comes on.

The slightly sweet smell

of that heightening smoke

infects our ears,

skin.

Faces gain

in proximity to one another.

Lips waiting

for contact.

Contact.

It overwhelms,

reality has become

a living dream.

The clock loses time,

the music plays on.

The Face

Your face haunts me

as your hands move

around and

around.

Keeping track of

the commodity we wish

we always had more of.

Your lonely face

looks into countless eyes

in different guises.

It is slipping,

it is always slipping

away.

Returning.

Starts and Old Hearts

So

this is what

it feels like

to begin again.

The sun begins to

show its face

once more

as bodies ready

for the noontime sun.

Take it by the hand,

make it yours.

Who We Are

Predator

we move like sharks

in our quest.

always in motion,

never resting

until the end

arrives

in the murky

depths.

Phade

Believe

in something.

It need not be grand,

simple things will suffice.

Belief becomes

complicated in the

hands of those

too misguided

to see the its private nature.

It sinks into you because it is everywhere.

What we want is what we need

and what we need is a simple thing.

We fade to black when there is nothing left to be said or done.

Refusal

Punk Rock

volume

velocity

become weapons

of mass insurrection

when the timing is right

and the words

are sung from

voices ready

for something more

than ordinary.

The View From Atop Babel

An imagined history

is all I have of you now.

Where love once was

now

nothing.

The deliberate posing

of typed characters

jux

taposed

against one another

and

the space between

one

and

the other.

Rules Are Suggestions For Those Without Imaginations.

THIS

Tripping over ourselves

on the way to each other

we become ants in amber

as we attempt to transcend

the confines of our lives.

Like eroding rock

we too wear down.

Fleeting thoughts and actions

like when the mind/body

is in the throes of an interminable

ingestion of godly smoke and

intoxicating libations spilling

down gullets in an attempt to stave off

the inevitable return to a former sanity.

Invisible cages everywhere

and nowhere at all.

Screens flash so brightly we become blind

to each other, to our deeper needs.

Living is now an exercise in endless narcissism

to sate the primordial predatory state of mating.

We have bigger problems now than just

our selfish needs but those are the only ones that count.

Voyeurism is the new fashion accessary for those in need

of a quick fix of fickle fluctuation.

Instant gratification is our new standard for masturbation

for body and soul, it is a gratification without control.

Neuroses pound out from gray matter

bursting through skulls and skin

into a polluted stratosphere ready to return

to a much simpler time.

Great deeds are undone

by simple acts of greed.

We sit atop Babel

looking down below,

wondering where is

God above?

One By One

One x 1

My head is leaking out

words

1

x

1.

You

can barely

hear them as they

splash into the pond

1

x

1

sending ripples

that touch the dirt

on the waters edge.

Some

sink like stones

to the bottom,

others

hit

& float easily

on the surface.

1

x

1

they spring forth

to meet their

fate.

)

) )

) ) )

) ) ) )

) ) )

) )

).

Rooftop Fish Tacos

Lessons Learned

Be ready

(like a cat)

to leap forth

from a perched position

to the shifting sand below.

No use getting

all hung up

on the temporary

control we imagine

ourselves to have.

Be ready

to leap.

needlessstress

Thank You

for the rock

sitting peacefully

in my stomach.

Convenience versus unity?

it is no surprise

how we manifest

the stress in our lives

through physical form

or mental maladies.

with friends like these

why bother with enemies?

Width

Concentric Circle

the circle closes in tighter

and tighter as you

follow the spiral

downward and

inward.

A Bouquet Of Dead Flowers For You

First Flower

Flower budding

in the morning dew,

open those soft petals

for me.

It drips down by the drop

to the dirt below.

Show me

your face in bloom.

Things We Do

Needful People

filling the darkness with our words,

imagining the distance is not there.

we will this together

on such a late night,

trying to connect

to a need

dying

to be

filled.

Reminders

closing

trapped inside my own

fear and insecurity

i feel the sunlight

through the window,

daring not to venture

outside to a world of harm.

the space reduces itself

into a cube

as the sunlight struggles

to stay in.

our mortality will always be looming over us.

Extraordinarily Ordinary

An Early Afternoon

A buzzing biplane

flying overhead,

a slight breeze caressing

the leaves on the trees,

a dog barking in the backyard,

cars driving by in the street.

A bird perches on the windowsill,

flits it's head side to side

then defies gravity

in ways we wish

but never will.

Terms and Conditions

Rainfall

The years

are a punishing rain

bearing down on us

until at last

it is

over.

Age

Our bodies may age

but our minds

can remain

youthful eternally

if we will it

to be so.

The Abstract

We pursue

abstract ideals

as a means

towards

improvement of spirit

and physical being.

Vida

Life is neither good nor bad,

it is our perception

of it that leads us

to believe

one or the other.

Life is a series of events

both within our control

and out.

We strive to make

the best from that we can influence

and learn to accept

that which we cannot.

As We Are

I never want to be

completely content.

By being incomplete

there is always room

to grow

to love

to understand.

My Great Mistake

I was selfish

in wanting you

all these years,

expecting your love

for my own alone.

Love can only

be given freely

and without

condition.

Anything less

falls short

of real love.

Do You Believe In Providence Or Common Sense?

An (Un)Necessary Cruelty.

What is this

we once felt

but now is gone?

A spark ignited

now doused by rain.

We were once

but now are not.

A casualty of our humanity

Our Love?

An exercise

in futility.

For Tyler

His 3rd Birthday

It is hard to believe

three years could go by so quick.

Seeing you change

from such a helpless baby

into such a curious

and adventuresome

child has been

one of the most wonderful

things in my life.

You sleep now

as I ready myself

for a long day and night

ahead. I wish I could spend

it with you

and not with the tasks

of my daily life.

I love you.

A Brief Note On The Only Thing That Matters

BEAT

Click Click Click.

*pause*

ClickClickClick.

*pause*

Hmmm.

clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

That's the one.

clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

The sound of wood

hitting metal in time.

The sound of life happening.

"You know that I gotta say time's slipping away

What will it hold for me?

What am I gonna do while I'm looking at you

You're standing ignoring me."

- Hey Now! by Oasis

A Series Of Shorts

The little things

gone wrong

are that which

will drive men

over the edge.

A passionate release

is all you need to

reaffirm life.

How sound in motion

moves us so

is a mystery best left

unexplained.

Our primitive beat

sustains us,

that same beat amplified

moves us.

Dance and Sing

when you are alone,

Dance and Sing

when everyone is with you

and move together as one.

You asked me what love was

and all I could do

was look into your eyes.

Run through the fields

with the breeze

at your back

and the wide open sky above.

We are magnificent creatures

not yet fully realized in our potential.

Touch becomes the most valuable sense

in a world that breeds a glassed off sense of community.

There is no objectivity in world

of abject beauty and desolation.

Never trust someone

who is absolute in their convictions

nor anyone who believes in nothing.

Doldrums

A Matter Of Speech

Pick your words

carefully.

Don't let your tongue speak

fearfully.

Mind your movements,

don't let your body 

give insecurity.

How does it feel

truthfully?

Be ready,

this is it.

Modern living is one of the worst things that could have ever happened to man.

Then again, I might be wrong.

Sometimes you just can't think of anything better to write.

Mirrors Facing Mirrors

Narcissism 

It turns itself

around,

forward,

backwards,

side to side

trying to find 

the angle which

will make it all

beautiful.

So it keeps moving,

looking for the perfect pose.

Condition

Like A Disease

This

is                                  EVERYWHERE.

It permeates pores,

gets down

to muscle         & marrow

until

it swims with platelets

   through 

  arteries

  

   veins

capillaries.

It will be your end

or    salvation.

There is only one way to know for sure

but then 

it might

be too late

or

just

right.

The Waking Life

For YOU

I woke up

dreaming

we had fallen in love.

It was a beautiful

and simple thing.

The hours were

more real

than any waking

moment.

The conversation

flowed like

rivers of wine

as we listened,

postured

our bodies

to each other.

We sheepishly

held hands,

realized there was

no awkwardness,

just joy and

contentment.

I could see

the moment our

fingers locked together,

it was more real,

more pure than any

moment of my waking life

has ever been.

Our words continued

to strengthen

our newfound bond.

We kissed.

Your lips

felt like

kissing

an angel.

A gentleness I had

never before known,

a serenity only you

could bring.

It was a beauty

and perfection

unquestionable

as it unfolded.

The final fleeting moments

in my car

as we headed toward

an unknown

destination

together

at night

on the freeway.

I can't forget

your laugh,

your smile,

our hands like

innocent children

discovering

the joy

of another's

touch.

Familiar

History

At the end

I always return

to where I began.

It is humbling,

comforting

to always know

where the origins

of things are.

No shame

in the past that 

led us here,

only the embrace

that our history

can give us.

Keeping Constant Motion

When The Day Is Done

The day is never done

until the last 

ray of light has fled

and your body collapses

into sleep

awaiting the next dawn.

Everywhere You Go You Will Find This

The Greatest

Drinking in a place

where the living go to die

can be a simple joy.

Hands and Faces

beat down by

Death,

Divorce,

Prison,

Unkindness,

Love,

No Love,

Vice.

It is no surprise then

that we gather in these places

to mourn, 

forget, 

celebrate

life's 

joys & hardships.

Cheap beer

drains down throats

into a warmness

of body and spirit.

Music plays as a backdrop

for memories and conversation

as voices strain to be heard

through the clattering of glass

and billiards while darts

careen through the air.

Ash trays are filled 

as smokes are bummed

from total strangers

sharing this beautiful

ugly heaven.

I Come To Thee

What you're telling me

Is it alright?

Are you just telling me 

what I want to hear?

Alright, 

alright,

you don't

have to lie

alright?

Alright?

_____________

Where does 

the motivation 

for this life come from?

________________

I'd rather be alone with anyone but myself.

_______________

Attic

It's an illusion 

I buy into 

on a regular basis.

Escaping that which

hurts and hinders

into an ether 

calm and composed.

The shroud is always

stripped away

by time or

by morning.

What then?

The wait

for the next escape.

Fred : "God loves you just the way you are."

(a collection of thoughts from a morning spent musing on childhood)

Little hands

rest as

Little eyes

watch the screen

to see such a 

comforting creature

ask you

'Won't you be my neighbor?'

Big lessons taught

from a humble 

loving voice.

A source of love and sanity 

in such a restless time.

A calm, caring

and reassuring presence

is what you always were

in those days of childhood.

Childlike rapture

at each encounter in your 

living room or 

land of make believe.

Your memory

is a reminder

of the good that is possible

in this world.

Sincerity could be found

in every gentle word

uttered to the young

hearts of the world

aching for love 

and understanding.

A Celebration Of Opposing Poles

Life humbles us all in time.

or

We are all humbled by life in time.

An Afternoon in Manhattan Beach

Bodies drying off,

bare feet

touching backyard

pavement

as uneaten food

and empty bottles

of beer wait

for disposal.

A familiar scene

played out in

homes everywhere

young people are found.

The celebration?

Youth and life itself.

Inevitable Fate

An old photograph

fading into nothing,

yellowed by its existence.

Was this worth remembering?

Was this worth preserving?

A precious moment lost

to the years since gone.

A dusty light catches 

on possessions

forgotten by people 

long gone senile

through no doing

of their own.

The air reeks of age

and quaint notions

of civility 

done away by the 

encroaching 

digitization of human 

life.  In a bedroom

with curtains drawn

in the afternoon gaze,

a set of wizened lungs

keeps alive the last vestiges

of a time that will soon

be forgotten.

Holding Fate

It Has

Forward

is the only way to get

anywhere.

A few more steps

until my feet

come back

to familiar ground.

Each step

necessary

and long overdue.

The pen spreads its ink

across the vast 

blank pages.

A Frog In The Bottom Of The Well

Freeway Vision

they stretch out across the harbor

like the mechanical legs

of an invertebrate

that have been ripped

off  without mercy

by a child.

Has it?

The choice has been all but made.

A new horizon comes into view

as the old becomes

a quaint memory.

Sailin' On

Everything must change eventually.

Nothing is gained if nothing is wagered.

"Too often we sit back and take what life gives us."

- Pretty Girls Make Graves

Hacking through the lack.

every respite is reason enough to move forward.

Every plan becomes undone

when led to the 

day to day reality 

most of us live.

dig deep.

dig deeper

when that's not enough.

dig until 

you find hell itself.

keep going

past the inferno,

find what's been missing

and spring forth 

to the other 

side.

47

5 short untitled pieces

Life is balanced

in ways

we will never

fully understand.

Sometimes all you need

is 

a small 

glimmer of hope

to feed your passion.

I still think about you

when you would least

expect me too. Perhaps

you still think of me

time to time or that 

could be my wishful

thinking.

If it weren't for success

failure would be 

unbearable.

Suffering together

will forge bonds

not easily undone.

Nothing Happens All The Time

Nothing happens all the time.

Spent so much time

waiting,

hoping

for the impossible.

Years drifted by

in hopeful 

desperation.

Hope came,

went without 

warning.

Brief words

are all that is

left between us,

the sun beating down

this afternoon.

All The Great Liars and Me

Pure Fiction, Nothing More

you look so beautiful

when you reach so high.

arms outstretched

grasping for 

the fruit of the vine.

tip toes

elevate you

another inch

of two.

your head 

turns back to 

look at me,

a smile 

spreads 

from you 

to my blushing 

face.