La Ciudad De Los Angeles

Streets In The City

Lives intersect

like streets in the city.

Lights go green

turn red

with yellow in between.

Roundabouts are rare

though confusing at first,

will lead you to many paths.

Dead ends

are rarely ever

just that.

Stretches of industrial streets

can be so lonely at night,

Afternoon freeways 

crush the soul with the weight

of millions of bodies

attempting to reach 

where all roads end,

Home. 

Our vanity has expanded far beyond mirrors.

Dealing

The Perfect Song For This Moment Alone

If you were here

I would collapse in your arms.

The gentle sound

of your voice

keeping me company

could be enough

to ward off

the darkness. 

You are not as alone

as you imagine.

Could you keep singing

a little longer?

Twilight comes

through the city,

your voice carrying

above the sounds of

a million mourners.

If my heart stops beating...

If My Heart Stops Beating Will You Stop Believing?

On An Island Alone.

You don't have to say hello.

You don't have to say goodbye.

Cockroach

Flat on your back

Legs clasping inward

like praying hands.

The last spasms 

of life

flicker through

then

nothing.

The Width Of A Circle

Look Out

Choices made

will always come back

to you

though

not always

in a way you can

foresee.

A City Stained With The Memory Of Years

Mirrored Encounter

Good morning.

I hope you are doing well.

It's been so long 

since we've 

seen each

other.

Do you still dream so big?

Good to hear.

I've been doing fine,

been real busy with

life and whatnot.

I wish I had more time

to catch up, feels like 

I'm always running 

around without 

any time to see

what's going on.

You too?

Take care

'Merican

4th.

For one day 

we can forget 

petty differences 

between ourselves

and celebrate

the home

to us all.

How Dark Is Your Dark Side?

Cast Your Choice

Routine fills

most ordinary lives

the way dough

expands in an oven.

This is neither

good nor bad in itself.

Response to routine

will largely

dictate its 

benefit or detriment

to us.

Some will thrive 

under such confines.

Others will not be as fortunate.

Would this be different

in any other era

of this world?

One cannot say.

Only we can determine

the result for 

ourselves.

"How dark is your dark side?" - Andrea, His Name Is Alive

As You Burn Out

Word Manipulation.

The power of language should never be underestimated. 

For someone so in love with sound

the only thing i long for at times

is pure silence.

The heart mourns distance.

It is easy

to begin 

the downward

path to life.

Darkness looms in the distance.

in time it will engulf everything.

Drown doubt in hope.

Hope dies last and in the cruelest of ways.

We cannot avoid contradictions in ourselves.

it is best to embrace them

to retain sanity 

It is best to embrace our inner contradictions than not.

Experienced purity.

How wounded is your love?

Sometimes the only affirmation of life is the end of it.

We must never forget 

the struggle of men yearning to be free

from the tyranny of zealous men.

open your heart

to the sights you cannot explain.

Remember to laugh when the pain is too great.

Remember that all joy and sadness is fleeting.

Our ability to thrive in the midst of mental and physical calamity

is one of our greatest strengths.

Debtors

Does anything we say matter anymore?

Have we given up on each other?

Will we 

go through the motions 

to satisfy

a guilty 

imagined debt?

This meant so much.

Now?

Perhaps nothing.

The Vain and Vapid

Vanity and Ego can be found in abundance in any place we go.

play the part 

of a vapid beauty.

plans always fall into place

whether or not its the place

you originally had in mind.

Strange Light and Darkest Night.

Strange Light

Strange light bathes 

these city streets,

Dark corners hide

from the light.

The unseen city

creeps through 

shadows

as bodies 

sleep til dawn.

Moonlight,

Strange light,

guide me back home.

Moonlight,

Strange light,

take me back.

A Forgotten Scene

Why must 

you rip me apart

with the pain 

in your voice?

Heart broken,

eyes closed tight.

There is no emotion

untouched

by you.

Relief?

there is no relief 

from this life

until the end.

Even then

that is highly

disputed.

Note: the following are random fragments from my notebook 

between the dates of 5/5/09 - 6/30/09

People are assholes until they get what they want.

The Fire and the Fervor.

The Impropriety Of Men.

United By Fate, Divided By Ego.

Be The Tide.

Strange and Fearful Creatures.

As long as there are youth in our world there will be rebellion.

Do you have any idea how many words I have written about you?

necessary heartache.

Pedestrian Taste.

Shut Up and Buckle Down.

Dead Eyes Shining Behind Fallen Faces.

Your ambition will make or destroy you.

The weight of life bearing down on you

is not measurable in an empirical sense,

rather it is felt on the mind and soul.

I am an emotional sponge 

soaking up all your vibrations.

I want to be free of the weight of my soul.

What the eyes don't reveal

the timbre of ones voice does.

Let your pain breath life into you.

You can't begrudge happiness.

Beauty is an ugly thing past its expiration date.

If you never burn you'll never know the sweet taste of ash.

As wonderful as life may be remember

there will always be those willing

to cut your throat away.

This heaven is beautiful.

I wish you could see it too.

Life must be seized at every moment.

A lifetime of passion summarized in one moment.

Emptiness Consumes.

I was in love before I understood 

what those words meant.

I was a fool before I knew

what foolishness was.

I try to escape

whenever I am free.

All flowers wither without water.

We sank to the bottom of the ocean

to see the sights denied by the water above.

Every vacant smile

Every empty laugh

burns a hole

through me.

Origins and Obituaries.

Bill Evans

He could have saved himself

were it not for

the self imposed addiction

common to so many

of his peers.

Fingers floated over ivory

with a beauty

reflecting

the soul inside.

Miles would call you

just to hear you play.

Years went by

as the body decayed

slowly,

that beautiful soul

possessing your hands,

making god himself weep.

Blue In Green

plays quietly

as the sun sets

and you live

once more.

Origins (Draft 1)

The entire family was poor

and living in rural Yucatan.

Grandfather was a very strict

and hardworking man.

His 8 children

had to be bilingual

(Mayan and Spanish).

Grandmother

woke every morning

preparing the little food

they had.

There was no running water,

no electricity,

no bathroom to speak of.

Grandfather never wished

any of his children

to be musicians.

They are all drunks

and drug addicts

he said.

An Uncle and young cousin

were practicing for a show

as my young father

observed them.

Uncle asked,

would you like to play with us?

My young father happily said yes.

He picked up the simple

rhythm on percussion.

Arriving home

he told Grandfather.

You absolutely

may not go with them!

My young father stayed home.

Decades passed.

In the years my view of the world

began to grow

the simple need to be with my own

young friends led me to take up

Civil War Fife & Drum

music.

We were merely boys

recreating the music

which was the soundtrack

to the day to day lives

and deaths

those young men

led.

There was never a thought,

never a consideration

for the weight of history

this music carried.

This gave way

to the

Thunder By Knight

marching regiment

at my high school.

The music was a marked

change.

It was louder

and more grandiose then

anything I had ever been part of.

3 years were spent living with

constant practice,

competition

and improvement.

It ended so abruptly

and I have mourned it ever since,

not for me and my friends

but the teenagers like us

who would never get that chance.

Senior year

I almost stopped playing.

By a chance class scheduling

I would meet those

who would comprise

my first band.

I was so proud of that first drum set.

I had never played one before.

Ever since then I have continued.

Thank You Father

for letting me become

who I have always been.

Thank You Father

for saying

Yes.

Asleep Before I Laid Down To Rest

A Quiet Caution

Pick your words carefully.

Once they 

escape 

your lonely lips

they cannot be contained.

That Spacey Far Off Look

I do not dream the way you do.

At night

with my head 

resting on

the pillow

I cannot recall

the passing visions

laid bare before me.

So I dream when I'm

awake to make

up for my lack

of memory.

memoria

I can still feel

the touch 

of your hand

against my skin.

fra g men ts

Years will end in tears.

the weight of the heart can be too much for the body to carry.

you fell so much farther

than anyone else could have imagined.

Distance and Emptiness

Inevitable?

you can keep digging

deeper and deeper

but what happens

when there is 

nothing left

to dig

out?

A Memory Of You

remembering

a moment we once

shared.

perfect,

beautiful.

past tense.

the sound,

the darkness.

your hand

holding mine.

No Sense

You are a goddess.

Embrace the night

like a lover

returning to you.

The truth you hide will one day be revealed.

Keep pushing past the mundane to reach the eternal.

Truth is Beauty.

Sol

Constant

The sun rose this morning

as it has for countless centuries.

Our civilization may collapse,

we may eventually destroy ourselves

but through it all

the sun will be there

ready to rise and set.

The Most Moving Poetry I Have Come Across

My heart aches for you.

A Day Of Death

"Belief is just some faith."- Billy Corgan

I just want one thing

that only you can give.

Lost among the endless grains of sand.

The body becomes electric.

Like a forgotten memory.

Iran

Will 

your struggle 

bear fruit

or will 

the fist of tyrants

continue 

its reign?

The Cold War Was a Failure

If there were no passion there would be nothing of worth in our world.

We are scared of looking inward not because of what is there but what we may find.

THE COLD WAR WAS A FAILURE

Hello America,

The Cold War was a failure.

We sought to secure peace

with an arms race

the likes of which humanity has never seen

before or since.

We teetered on the brink

for many years

beneath the specter

of a Soviet colossus 

ready to hammer us down.

We goaded them

into bankruptcy.

Victory was declared.

Our eyes could now view

the landscape before us,

more terrifying than ever before.

Our infrastructure has crumbled,

schools have become holding cells

for future consumers,

docility has become the norm,

critical thought has given way

to so called 'reality programming',

we stare at screens all day and night

a cheap facsimile of life.

Our glowering enemy

has become 

a sea of small hands

all reaching out

to grab us.

Victory  was achieved

at too great a cost.

Burn Out

You were more beautiful when you were ugly.

spread it thin

spread it over

and over.

Burnout

Say Yes.

Say Yes.

Say Yes

until you can't

take anymore.

Say Yes

until 

you must 

Say No.

Flaying Flesh

The Space Between Heaven And Hell

Will this be the same?

Are old patterns emerging

from our recent distance

or has that bond been 

damaged enough 

to never go back?

You love me,

You miss me

but will you ever

be willing

to be more?

Shed Upon The Ground

Blood

It flows like wine

through the cracks 

in the street,

soaking the ground,

absorbed by the grass,

the leaves on the trees.

It spills over

when men

can no longer bear

the weight 

of 

tyranny.

__________________________

A lifestyle obsession.

I'm not looking for a girl

I'm looking for a woman.

For Neda

Neda

Crimson stains the asphalt

like a pollock painting.

You lay on your back

as hands cover

the fatal shot.

Streams of red

flow out your mouth,

eyes see 

the blue sky 

one last time.

Neda

Neda

Neda.

_______________

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/meast/06/21/iran.woman.twitter/index.html

Words From A Dead Night

morning is always the sign of a good night.

form fades.

wicked words from fire water.

let yourself become undone.

do you miss who you were?

I don't understand myself sometimes.

I'm ready if you are willing to believe.

The Vanity Of The Vain

Cycle

Leaves fall

from trembling

wooden limbs.

Cold encroaches

on summer memories.

A dimming sun

warns of the coming season.

Skin grows cold

as breath becomes

visible once more.

The Vanity Of The Vain

If You Know Where To Look Then You Will Know Where To Go.

All The Mad Men

All The Mad Men

A mind covered

by a shroud of smoke,

perceiving life

not as it is

But

as it should.

Perception grows clear.

Sound vibrating

through 

Corporeal Form.

Beauty revealed everywhere it hides.

Form?

Exp.1

this thread

runnnnnnning

through

each life

is imperceptible  to the eye.

endless

in form 

and 

impossible to touch

,

it binds us 

all.

when it releases us

the unknown

will be known.

then?

our voices

silenced.

Chaf

Our lives are always an endless autumn.

Perfection has its flaws.

You are a beauty

whose only charm

is the physique 

which makes men dream.

I would rather not forget,

merely too occupied

to have to ever think about

such things again.

Vintage

Age

it is creeping slowly,

an imperceptible pace

will overtake us

when the hand is laid

on our shoulder. 

Remember Nothing

Cowards

I only see you in memory

or old photographs

hidden away

in books 

or drawers.

We both took

the cowards way out

of friendship.

All that remains 

is

this.

unfinished

we spiral in,

out

of these moments.

shifting between

locations,

destinations

or other  temporal places.

Eraser

Delete

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The Aftermath Of You

"Someday I won't feel no pain, Someday I won't have a brain." - Black Flag

Life Loves Dead Ends.

Dead behind the alley

waiting

for you.

I belch fire like a smokestack.

I burn alcohol like a muscle car.

The Aftermath Of You

rip the flesh from the bone

until nothing remains

but bone

waiting to bleach 

beneath the summer sun.

Forward Four Word Forward

This edited version is courtesy of A.P.

the original version appears below the line.

Forget Me

I am always the fool, no more 
a good man, a wise man,
than you are.

I have mourned 
love never mine
burned down friendships
that were.

My heart, foolish-suspicious.
My mind, critical-over analytical.

I don't regret the things
said that night in 
that darkly lit bar.

Meant every word.
Regret the next and last time 
I saw you.

Life is one mistake 
after another until something 
is right. That seems to be symptomatic

of these relations.

_________________________

Forget Me

I am always the fool,

never knowing when enough is enough.

I would rather drive away

those attempting to be close to me

than risk the disappointment

that seems to be symptomatic

of these relations.

I am no more 

a good man,

a wise man,

than you are.

I have mourned love

that was never mine

and burned down friendships

that were.

My heart is foolish 

and suspicious.

My mind is critical

and over analytical.

I don't regret the things

I said that night in 

that darkly lit bar.

I meant every word.

I regret the next time,

the last time 

I saw you.

You are better off without me.

Life is one mistake after another

until something is right.

Memory

Amber

every day becomes amber 

in our minds.

beautiful and eternal.

todays sap

drips down 

the trunk.

memories are trapped,

then eternal.

Tale Of Brave Ulysses

tear the heavens asunder.

we will leave this place far more beautiful

than it ever was.

looking  at the stack of books written by my heroes

I know far too much work remains to be done.

Without Measure

In Love. In Time.

How can we measure

time    or    love ?

Time scars the body,

love can break the heart.

How many broken hearts

are the measure of one life?

How many years lived

are the measure of a good life?

Words Written On Scratch Pieces Of Paper

A Note On This Post: titled pieces are denoted by the title appearing in Bold Italic. There is also one untitled piece. The end is comprised of one line thoughts and are meant to have no continuity to each other. Everything from this post has come from things scribbled on scratch pieces of paper at various places over the last few months.-R

Struggle

restraint

is the 

virtue

that is the

hardest

to master.

Among Wilting Roses

Petals picked 

are beautiful to behold,

relics of dead beauty.

thorns dig deep

into soft flesh.

years pass in moments.

remember them

as stills

from a foreign movie.

Swallow

there is a hole inside of me 

bigger than myself

getting ready to swallow me whole.

can you tell me,

the darkness won't be getting me?

stay away (from me)

stay awake(with me).

A New Language

there are no words

that capture

the entirety of 

what we are

together.

4our

Peace through Prosperity.

Prosperity through Charity.

Charity through Selflessness.

Selflessness through Humbleness.

Final Vision

I woke up

and it was the end of the world..

You get used to the strangest things.

No time left for dreaming,

action is all we have left 

here at the end.

Masochist

Hurt me like I was Him.

Hurt me like Them.

Hurt me like you've wanted to.

Hurt me for wanting you.

___________________________

plans are never quite what they seem.

dreams are never quite what they mean.

i'm lost here with you.

can't find land or sea,

lost here with you

if you're lost here with me.

don't let me slip away in this dream,

reach through the mire of days.

reach out to me.

_____________________________

We are never as young as we used to be.

Wandering the depths of of Iron Bottom Sound.

Past Lives Always Become Present Tense (tension?)

Art should have the emotional impact of a bomb exploding AKA Art Salvo.

Creativity breeds in unlikely places.

Your love rules me like a dictator.

Off is just as important as On.

A New Standard of Normal.

Simple Pleasures of a Complicated Life.

Sun so bright, won't you forgive my trespasses tonight?

The pettiness of our egos hampers us from being as trusting as we are capable of.

The hours drip by like melting wax.

Needless tyrant.

This might as well be heaven.

The desperation of loneliness.

We could be so much closer to ecstasy  if we could lose the lingering fear.

Never wait for love.

Looking for a brighter shade of sanity.

Finding an old balance in new surroundings.

Finding peace within disorder.

Control is always limited at best.

Bastard children of illegitimate men.

Trust no one who has never struggled with madness.

Can you feel the emptiness that grows inside from the connectivity our technology brings?

You were it but you're not the answer anymore.

Make it beautiful, make it beautiful to me.

make sense

a night spent 

not so alone

has been a pleasant respite

from the usual

emptiness that has been.

too soon to tell

if anything is happening

unless it already has.

life does not always need to make sense.

embrace the embrace.

After A Morning Conversation

My Aching, Aching Heart

the struggle is never meant to end,

it is meant to be endured.

life carves experience 

into our face 

line by line.

years pass as

they accumulate.

black becomes

salt and pepper,

problems persist,

happiness comes,

goes as it pleases.

do you miss those

carefree days as a child,

sun shinning through the trees 

in the park,

the future 

being so 

far

far 

away?

(for RC Sr.)

Long Nights In Unfortunate Situations

Friendship

night collapses

like a house of cards

built by a drunk man

well past the midnight hour.

tears, smoke and beers

are the ambience

around us on such

wicked nights.

we cannot always run away

from pain.

on occasion we must dive

headfirst into the darkness,

hoping for light ahead.

lesser men might not make it.

we must hold our bond close

to pull through

once again.

deuce

before we begin

please know that 

this will come again.

all this time spent waiting

know 

that it has always been for you.

Eight Workday Thoughts

What the eyes don't reveal the timbre of ones voice does.

Pedestrian taste.

Shut Up and Buckle Down.

Dead Eyes Shinning Behind Fallen Faces.

You ambition will make or destroy you.

The weight of life bearing down on you is not measurable in an empirical sense,

rather it is felt on the mind and soul.

I am a sponge soaking up all your vibrations.

I want to be free of the weight of my soul.

Respite

Make It So

lay the day to rest

among the evening embers

as pastel paths to heaven

guide our feet forward.

peace is found 

in the likeliest of places

when a tired head

needs a pillow to rest upon.

i will dream so many things

as your hand touches mine

and sleep comes

once more.

rush job

finding the beauty in the sunrise

is one of the easier things

any of us can do.

perhaps this time

I am ready to give 

someone a chance.

living inside seashells

limits your view.

not everything need be genius.

sometimes work which is average

is needed in order to make the genius

far more apparent.

the ball is rolling

but where will it stop?

His Name Is Alive

Midmorning Salvation

will you be salvation or damnation? 

a different beast altogether?

your voice 

so warm and sweet

could tell me anything

and I would believe.

has the earth moved

or has my heart skipped a beat?

keep singing.

so warm and sweet,

are you ambrosia manifest?

this beat is life,

your voice,

the fulfillment of hope.

Too Short

The measure of all men 

is their word

and how well they keep it.

Beauty can be an ugly thing

once it is past its 

expiration date.

Obfuscate

Political Ideology is the enemy of individual thought.

What makes an angel want to save the devil?

If we cannot learn from the past

what future can we hope for?

Zebra

Falling into the role of protector again 

despite my own apprehension.

Is this lust or concern?

Do I dare believe delusion?

The night turns to beauty once more

when one is alone together.

Flesh Wounds and Psychic Scars

dreams and nightmares

always end.

we must strive for the extraordinary

under even the most ordinary

of circumstances.

7 Lines To Inner Space

If you were beautiful they would love you.

Turning heartache and disappointment into art.

The beginning is always an end.

What is it about the idea of a suffering artist that is so compelling?

Emotion is experienced so intensely that it can be both elevating and crippling.

Wandering Days.

Awake among the whispering glades.