The Dreamer

This story begins where everything ends.
Everything ends because given enough time
that is what happens to everything. All life,
all things in the material world are destined
to destruction if you look far enough down
the timeline. Which end are we speaking
about? Could it be the end of one human
lifetime? Could it be at the end of all human
life and civilization? It can be all these things.
I was the last human on this Earth. Do you
believe me? If you're reading this you might
be wondering how this was possible. If you're
reading this then I suppose I was wrong.
That is unless you are something beyond
human that can comprehend the words of a
feverish and dying man. It came to be that
after civilization ground to a halt and all the
wars and devastation were done that were
few and fewer of us here. At the end I had
not seen proof of another human in 7 years.
Somehow I persisted in this dead and solitary
world. I was weary. I was tired. I had been
suicidal. Living, being what it is, is a hard
habit to break. So I lived. I lived and searched
to the fullest extent I could. I roamed and
searched and searched and searched. The
years began to stretch behind me like a dead
tail I kept dragging around. The ghosts of
everyone haunted me in my sleep and in
the shadows of day. I grew to question my
very existence but even that was not enough
to end it. Why would it? Instinct and hope
kept pushing me further and further. Yet,
here I am. Believing myself to be the last
of us. As far as I know, I am. Generations
upon generations of cumulative success and
failure in the hands of a dying man. How
much more can I say? What more can I say?
It is not possible to sum up all my thoughts
on what I have lived and suffered, nor
enough time or space to give any eulogy
or write an epitaph for all of us. When we
fall asleep we dream. Now I must sleep.
And in this sleep I will roam forever. I am
going home. I am going home to see you
all again.

After the End

At the end
everything that ever was
ceased to be
It had been a long time coming
There was no one to notice
No one to mourn
The sky finally turned black
A darkness so complete
and pure that has never
been witnessed
All the stars had died
and what planets remained
were being consumed
by the black hole
at the center of the universe
Finally after the last morsel
of matter fell into the void
a final silence overwhelmed
It was as though nothing
had ever existed
As though nothing
would ever exist again
And after an interminable
amount of time
something stirred
This stirring
vibrated and pushed
the condensed matter
Quickly
it was though
energy was filling
all the spaces it had once
called home
And everything
began again

Quote Me

Pain is a crucible through which 
all must pass. 

The sound of a crying child is 
proof of order in the universe.

Everything changes.
Everything must change. 

Nothing is True
Everything is Possible 

Nothing matters
Everything is worth saving

Sunset 3/23/15

There is very little that any of us
can claim to truly own in our lives.
Almost everything we have
can be taken away from us
at almost any point.
How does this make me feel?
It makes me feel awed and helpless
but not without hope.
Does the sand feel powerless
at the strength of the ocean?
It does not consider it.
The sand moves and shifts
from beach to water.
I see myself as part of
a larger whole,
one that does not end
when we do. Our consciousness
is a flicker of a light
burning bright
in an existence that is
marginally aware of us.
I feel no attachment
to institutions of power.
These forces rage
against that which encroaches
upon them. Their power
is nothing more
than a toddler gripping
the finger of a parent.
Time will strip us of everything.
Friends.
Parents.
Spouses.
Heros.
Possessions.
Memory.
Our lives.
I feel it impossible to surrender
until the day
I must.
I will
relent to the forces
that created us
and will us
back to an eternal whole.