grief

when we speak of loss
what is it we are actually speaking of
the dead can no longer be bothered
by our grief or indifference
once they have joined
the endless stream of matter
when we speak of loss
we speak of our grief
and the lack of what once was
we speak of the desire
to live in the memory of life
our grief is a duality
of acceptance and longing
for what can no longer be
grief will come again
and it will be so in our lives
until we ourselves
are the subject of another's grief

We carry on as normal
Even if the world inside us
Has changed. Morning
Routines continue even if
Grief has taken hold.
There must be food
And a shower. A return
To life and living.

Morning Ghost

My life has gone and only memories of me
Will remain with you.
It was too soon, far sooner than
Any of us would have wanted.
How romantic is it to idealize this
Post-life existence?
I have left the room we shared
For my lifetime
And walked into the backyard
That leads into the forest.
There are paths here
Worn well into the dirt
Amidst the evergreens.
It is not possible for you to ever
Lose me entirely.
Mourn where you must,
You will, and I will
Hold you in my own way
As your tears flow
Like existence itself.
Is death freedom?
It can be seen as such
But there is much
I would still return to
Back home if the pulse
could have been found.

Gathering Dust

Gathering the dust
                              of your ashes
you cover my hands


My tears find themselves within you

              Forgiveness

I could never ask that of you


Aching knees

Feet refuse to keep me standing

Ache of years

Mind
          weighted and
                                sink
                                      ing
No one will find me here

Alone
           together

To an end

Black Is Not A Color

I do not wish to mourn for it is unbecoming
to bleed salted water from my eyes.

I do not wish to mourn because it is a reminder
of my own mortality.

I do not wish to mourn because that is not
you there any longer.

I do not wish to mourn because I can still
remember you.

I do not wish to mourn because I am still
alive.

I do not wish to mourn because according
to some faiths your return is imminent.

I do not wish to mourn you because I would
not wish for you to shed salted tears.

I do not wish to mourn because of everyone
else mourning across the world.

I do not wish to mourn because I do not
believe it is you any longer.

I do not wish to mourn because there is
much yet to live.

I do not with to mourn because my black
clothes don't match.

I do not wish to mourn because your mother
never liked me.

I do not wish to mourn because your father
was always kind to me.

I do not wish to mourn because your brother
never really knew you.

I do not wish to mourn because I am mourning
you know.

I do not wish to mourn because this is an elegy
for you and I know how you would have disliked it.