Moment of Honesty

How scared of the truth am I?
Am I truly in fear of it?
My vices and shortcomings
       make me feel unworthy.
I drown my fears of lack of control
                                       into hazy stupors
                                              that leave me dazed by dawn.
I look at my reflection and turn away.
I feel shame in this skin.
I feel it's shortcomings acutely
                       and at times
                                  feel unable to change.
I live like this.
                       My confidence feels all too fleeting.
I am writing this because this is the voice of criticism
                                                                  that I live with.
It is the voice telling me I am unloved,
                      telling me I am too fat,
                      telling me I am weak-willed,
                      telling me nothing can change,
                      telling me I am going to die alone,
                      telling me that the art I create is a fool's errand.
I gave it voice today
                                 so I could say this:
You are wrong.

For Bernie

Sometimes even the good people 
amongst us compromise to serve 
what they believe to be 
the greater good. 

fear diminishes

moving forward 

into light 

discovering what 

I've known to be true

self

that which hinders you,

that which you allow 

to hinder you.

Don't let weakness

stake a claim

in you.

Everything That Is & Never Was

Stillborn memories

dot the landscape of the past.

Faces blend and bleed

together into a palette

grown muddy

and indistinct.

Paths have been traveled,

their knowledge given

and scattered to uncaring

arms. How beautiful

can the sunset be

compared to a total

eclipse of the moon?