At Last

Listen to the birds

outside the door

speaking in song

I ask myself

Am I truly listening 

or am I merely waiting

to speak?

We must often do the impossible

and reconcile the world 

with our own heart.

I grow older but I do not grow 

more numb to the world.

I grow older and I feel myself

a greater part of humanity.

My joy and disappointment 

are mirror images.

I grow older and realize 

I must be gentle with 

the fractured and broken.

All of us are so.

I grow older and cannot 

consume blindly and 

without thought.

I must have restraint.

Does the deer dream?

Does it dream of the forest?

Of fresh water?

A quiet valley?

A land without fear?

Some mornings

I sit and must remind myself

that no feeling is final

that I must breath

that this is all there is

this eternal present

this perpetual gift

All these words

All these thoughts

like leaves on a tree

sharing a branch

sharing a body

living

changing

returning home

at last

This You

You grow older

You remember things

You forget things

Your childhood hangs onto you

Your childhood feeds your present

Your childhood shapes your future

You grow older

You change the story

You change yourself

You forgot your conception

You forgot your birth

You know you are here

You remember

You wonder

You wonder

Who Will Take me Home

If I can still myself

will I find the peace

that's eluded me

Can I sleep and

wake up rested 

without a worry

This gift given without 

desire is the only one

that matters to me

I close my fists

and grasp the water

to come up empty again

Are these words enough

It shouldn't matter 

if it's all I have

Will the wind carry you

or will time take you home

Wake

What happened

What broke

between then and now

How does a heart break

How does a soul mend

How far is a mind stretched

It's been a long time

since he broke your heart

since he broke your life

since everything broke

since almost everyone left

We are self-centered creatures

getting on with our days-

lives and memories

lost in our wake

Clenched Jaw

I can't help it sometimes

the way I tense and clench my jaw.

I'll notice it every now and then

and tell myself to relax, 

to ease up on it.

Most of the time it helps.

Other times I have to open

my mouth wide and

take a gulp of air.

I've gotten better

in a lot of ways

but there are others

I'll always be working on.

There is no journey 

in this poem,

it is barely even a poem, 

but I had to tell you

and I had to tell myself 

this right now.

Be kind to yourself.

You're all you've got.

The Beach in the Forest

A wave crashing down upon my heart

Washing over my mind

Flowing through my eyes

and down upon my cheeks

I listen to it over and again

Hearing wind through trees

Seeing water lapping sand

Another wave crashing

More water flowing

Rivers surrounding

my eyes

A New Old Self

Who am I still trying to be?

I ask myself over and over

and get no closer.

Do I need to be an I?

Is the I already present?

Yes, yes.

You know the answer.

Don't try any more.

Become who you are.

You Get Used

To The Pain

Of Being

Disappointed

Staring into the bay from the tree
at the edge of the cliff
the water laps the beach far below
Undulating waves
A mind I am seeking to empty
How many years remain
How much will be done
How much will be left unfinished

Notes

Let go of all that harms you
Allow yourself the space to feel peace
Do no harm to others
Do no harm to yourself
Work towards balance and happiness
Embrace the lessons failure imparts
Permit mistakes but do not let them
become habits
Be kind to all

Wholly

Cut the crap and get to the point
is what you would say
Then you'd smile with all your teeth
and I'd have to laugh with you

Tears spilled over pink
I listened to you in silence
Held you as best I could
Felt your sobs burrow
into my chest

Wholly you
in all avenues
You have me
here and
now

Stop Running, Start Changing

What am I running from
What am I afraid of
Why do I drink so much
Why do I constantly worry
Why do I do this to my body
Easy and temporary answers
to real and deep rooted
problems are foolish
and short sighted
They show an inability
to reign in the worst
of my human tendencies
There is so much to be afraid of
My mortality
My finances
My health
My future
Why not take charge
of these things
Why not take the reigns
of what no one else
can or should lead?
A healthy body
A healthy spirit
can be found in action
and moderation
If you are healthy
in body and spirit
you can do more
to help others
Fear can be overcome
Fear is a temporary state
Resolve to be less fearful
Resolve to be what
you have always seen
yourself to be

We Are God

I am God
You are God
We have always been God
I never believed this
You never believed this
We do not need faith to know
that we are God incarnate
We do not need religion to
live our lives fully
We do not need to be immortal
or omniscient
we need simply to exist
to be present
in the present
to make the choices
for the paths we wish to seek
We are God
We always will be God
Remember your name
Remember our name
It is here on your tongue
Say a prayer
Answer it

Toogether with Myself

I woke up wandering beside myself
Together I walked side by side
Watching the heavens
Watching the ground
Watching everything turn around
Tell me sunlight
Tell me moonlight
Where is the love I seek
Where is the life I want
to live
to lead
Where does this all go?
Dirt covers my feet
but I keep walking
I don't mind at all
So I find our voice and
start singing in harmony
One becomes two
Two has always been one

Advice for a Better Life

Go to bed at a decent hour.
Get a full nights rest.
Wake up decently early.
Leave with plenty of time
for work every day.
Eat more fruits and vegetables.
Drink less or just cut it out.
Exercise more.
Tell your loved ones
that you love them.
Read more.
Write more.
Continue the inward path.
Go to the beach more.
Make more music.
Make more art.
Keep constantly learning.
Face your fears.
Remember that the only
thing truly ours is
our own actions.
Be grateful.
Be kind.
Be kind.
Be kind.
Be kind.
Be kind.

I and We

How far we have traveled to be here today
How many years we have lived to have this knowledge
How deeply we love with the full pain and experience of life
I have failed and I have succeeded
I am the embodiment of strength and weakness
This life has broken me and rebuilt me
I am responsible for acts of my own will
I am here because of love
I am here to love
I am here to grow and nurture
I am a child of this Earth
I am an adult of this time
I wish to surpass what I believe is possible
I wish to surpass what I expect of myself
I am traveling further and further in my inner-landscape
I am listening to the voices of the Gods for they are all around
I am to remain humble in the face of nature and death
I am here only a short while and for that I must live wholly
We are together now and forever
We are all sisters and brothers
We must look beyond the trivial skin we use to separate
We are all of one beating heart
We are all of one blood
coursing through veins and arteries

The Mountain

You can't fix your life in just one day
or even a week or month. Life doesn't
work this way. If you want to deal with
your drinking then do so. If you want to
make more money then find another job.
If you want to lose weight then create a
plan for eating better and moving your
body. If you're worried about your health
then go to the doctor. If you're worried
about your teeth then go to the dentist.
If you're scared then go ahead and be
scared but know you will not grow and
change anything unless you start dealing
with these fears one by one. If you're
worried that you will fail then start and
fail and then keep trying, keep learning
so that you will not fail. Your life belongs
to no one but you. No one will force you
to do anything except for you. You are
your own accountability. Your life is
your life. Always remember that. Live
how you have always wished but do so
small piece by small piece. Then, one
day, you will see how the mountain
was moved one handful of dirt at a time.

Imperfect Student

I am learning still
and in my learning
I fail and forget lessons
that I have been taught
I must always reach
for humility and under
standing at these times
I acknowledge my
failures so that I may
grow and move
past them
I am growing
I am learning
I am imperfect
I am learning
I am becoming
whole piece by
piece day by day

Pendulum

What does it take for us to change
what has seemed unchangeable?
How much must we suffer
before we look with honesty?
We all share in this shame and guilt.
We can be compelled but what
moves us to act?

Live and suffer for money.
Idol worship of fools and folly.
Man created and destroyed
by our own economy imagined.

Does not all of Man desire not
a place to live, but a home?

The mistakes we have birthed
have matured and birthed ones
of their own.

We search ceaselessly for answers.
They are here. They are here.
We have seen them and turned
them away but they are here.

Can we move towards a better union?

Caught between hope and
hopelessness.

Swing of a pendulum.

Morning 1/12/18

Let the leaves fall from the tree
Landing gently on the ground
Growing in multitudes as the days
shorten in the Fall

Here Now
Here Now
Breathe Now
Love Now
Om Shanti

Consecrate yourself to yourself
Consecrate your actions
Consecrate your thoughts
Consecrate what nourishes you

Begin today.
You are here.
You are now.
This is your life.
This is yours to change
or maintain.
This life is yours
to mold into the vision
of what you most desire.
Be passionate.
Be persistent.
Be consistent.
Liberate yourself
from what clouds
your mind and body.
Reach beyond yourself.
Reach into yourself.
Reach into spaces
known and unseen.

This world will cloud your mind
This world will cloud your judgement
Focus on what matters
Focus on now
Your struggle is yours alone
Steel yourself
Reach for the ideal

Do not accept the easy answers from yourself.
Accept the upward path.
Ascend.