appearing
dis
     appearing
emerg ing
at just
the
      right time

Conditions

How easy it is to be
needlessly cruel
in a time
when greater kindness
is needed
at all points
on the path

Branches diverging
from the trunk
yet even
unseen fingers
reach out
grasping the dirt

Still Angry

I'm still angry and broke
The present is never enough
I'm sick of starving
and living in the margins

A drink takes the edge
just long enough to forget
how fucked we are
but never pushes harder
to change it all

It Is What It Is

Call me home
to where I've been
Call me home
to where I'm missed
Wandering in this lifetime
Seeking understanding
I have found a home in you
Open the door
I will come through
This is where I belong
With you here and now

A New Morning

burning away grey
clouds dissipate
the sun
emerging
victorious

Red Sunrise

Fiery sunrise
Red light floods the sky
A bird is chirping urgently
from a branch
on the tree outside my window
What now
What does she know

This life
forever
expanding
and
contracting
as our days
diminish
and we
seek out
the un-
definable

Over and Over

I woke up with a song in my heart
and your image in my eyes
Falling over and over
in love with you
Over and over
and I would
not want it
any other
way

On Death

Sinking
DR OWN ing
to our deaths
or is it
to life everlasting
New life
in new forms

Will I wither
and crumble into dust
Yes
but not today

Eternal Life

Crossing between states
Memories formed and forgotten
Existence reduce to essential matter
You, I, We, Us,
sailing down the stream
that feeds the endless ocean
Plunging in
Resurfacing
Over and over
Eternal life

To Do

Learn through mistakes
Some larger than others
If there is time to correct
the path then take it
Right what can still be
righted and change
Do not take this lesson
and merely say it
Take it and do it
That is what must be done

There You Go

Late summer southern sun
beaming down on Sunday afternoon
Far from the place you call home
you are comforting those you love
And I love you
I long for you
Your absence is necessary
Your kind face
Your laugh
I miss
Your kiss
Your embrace
Your love
As you would say
"There you go"

A Gathering Storm

Gentle current on a clear day
Gray gathers at the outer edges of perception
A shift begins

Drops of water
turn into a torrent
 Lightning streaks the sky
Thunder cracks

Get through
Survive

Amputation

Through skin and muscle
Finally
sawing through
and breaking bone
Painful separation
A life saved

Drown

The only way to save myself
is to drown
so I drown every day
every night
waiting for salvation
waiting for the light

The Days and Nights

In the days and nights
of my dying
as candle light flickers
what was always destined
will emerge
Will it be
during Spring showers
or in Summer's warmth
Perhaps the falling leaves
of Autumn will greet me
or the final frost of Winter
Will I gaze out a window
and sigh as the sun
breaks through the clouds
and tells me
everything I need to know

When a grain of sand 
is moved
has the whole
beach changed?

5 a.m.

Warm and dreaming
next to each other
Bodies move and
tangle before dawn
Easing into sleep
once more
Landscapes real
and imagined

Rebirth

Every morning
Reborn into life
A simple and
overlooked gift

Without you
life is diminished
With you
life is improved

Words are artless
compared to you

To think of you
is to long for you

To know you
is to desire you

To have you
is to have all

Love

It really is
as simple as you think
if the timing is right

Don't stress
Don't worry
Don't over think

It is just that simple

To Be

I'll be a shaman for you

I'll be a healer for you

I'll be a woman for you

I'll be a doctor for you

I'll be your lover

I'll be your nothing

I'll be your everything

I'll be here and now

I'll be present

I'll be eternal

I'll be dead if you want me to

I'll be your anything

Open Honesty

/tear open your chest

show me

what makes you breath

"        "         "     beat

Don't give me wind

"        "       "   words

Give me something more

More substance

More immortality

More permanence

in this t e m p o  r  e  a  l  i t y 

Other Travels

It didn't hurt at all
I felt peace and relief as the separation
of body and essence occurred

There was light but no tunnel

Only light
Embracing
Enfolding
Reforging
me into
what I
had once
been

I travel freely through the known
and unknown spheres of what has
yet to be revealed to you

Give it time
This change will come
Do not hurry it

You will find each other
at the right time of revelation

Cat Circus at the Governors Mansion

Your laugh comes easily
and quickly
I start laughing

Seven cats
running around
sleeping
and being
as cats should

It's so ridiculous
you say
You don't even
like cats

We both laugh
and hear the sound
of a cat jumping
off the dining room
table and scampering
across the wooden floor

Tired and restless
Warm summer night
left me tossing in bed
Thoughts turned to you
Finally some peace
Finally something good

Where Days Begin

Does the day begin
merely with the sunrise?
Does the day begin
when our eyes flutter
back into consciousness?
Does the day begin
when I kiss you?

Our days are always
beginning
Our days are always
ending
Our days are always
holding hands
unable to let go
of one another

This life
These days
Moving through them
Moving through us as well

Absent

Absent of you from bed
You do not stray far from my thoughts
I wake and call
Your voice is there
Missing you
Being together
Missing you
Together again
Soon

Prophet

Go beyond the dream
Return to reality
Have I become a prophet
for what I have seen
I have felt too much
I have done too much
to turn away from this
The path reveals itself
further and further
with each passing hour
Behind closed eyes
the form appears
the vision takes life

In Brief

Ghostly skin
I wear it so easily
Draped upon my arm

Burning light from the omniscient eye
known by so many names
through all of our existence

Your voice still sings for me
Your words still hang in air
You have become part of me

Dreams torn apart
rearranged
such strange beasts

Reaching for a hand
Finding it
Holding it
Asking where is
the destination

Primitive beneathe our civilization
Proud creatures of the Earth
Have we forgotten our nature

Restless sleep in summer heat
Whirring fan
Open window
Restless people of a burning city

A bud blooming
Fiery red
Unruly flower
What can be done
Memory and shadow
A haunted image

Fragments
Words tossed
and left
Create meaning
from nothing

We hold our secrets like children.

Imperfect union of imperfect people
A history of the world in one sentence

In my sleep I dreams
In my dreams I live
In the lives of my dreams
I become the ideal
of what I have always desired

Preferred Permutation

Breakfast the morning before the world ended/changed

Sinner / Lover

My heart is yours
My blood is yours
Swallow me
Make me
part of you
Swallow me
Make me
part of you
Absolve me
of all sins

Morning 6/6/18

The World Created in Reverse / Backward

A world curated
and covered in blooms
Gardens manicured
Us walking freely
along unfamiliar paths

Small separations
Longing closed by conversation
Flesh desiring to be near another

whole

Pie ces of our selves

            we find
            in others

to gether WE

become
whole

Space

In you the universe lives

breathes
              and stretches

on such
a lazy morning

Stardust
in your
eyes

Gazing into
soft brown irises

a galaxy

Speak

Speak of the future

as though you have met

and made plans

for tomorrow

When today has lapsed

into tomorrow

what will be of those plans

Speak as though 

everything is not mutable

Speak as though

we are not all looking

towards the same sunset

before the dawn

Your touch
your kiss
your caress

-nothing else
exists

here before
dawn

skin on
skin

heaven
incarnate

skin on skin
your heartbeat
lulls me to sleep
again

In Your Living Room

Could we dance all night
in your living room?
Play the music loud-
hopefully the neighbors
won't mind.
Don't they know
we're in love?
I'll do my best to not
step on your feet,
you know I feel bad
when I do.
Look at me the way
I look at you.
I know you do.
I know you do.
Could we dance
and never leave
the living room?
Could we dance
and never leave
the house again?

Love Poems

are serious business.
Everyone writes them
even if they don't admit it.
The object of affection
becomes more than human
in the eyes of the lover.
Such grand pronouncements!
Declarations so vast and grand
that they could be renaissance
paintings on display in a museum.
What matters?
What is the substance?
Simple.
I love you.
I love you passionately.
I love you deeply.
With you I am enriched.
Without you I am diminished.
I grow with each of your kisses.
I am nurtured by each embrace.
Give me your heart.
You possess me
mind, body, and spirit,
Dear one.

Bud and Blossom

It never entered my mind
until it did
and now the thought
of you lives in me

How slowly you took root
How suddenly
you sprung forth

Young flowers
bud and blossom

Lavender Rose

How long will I live
in this dream?
How many mornings
How many nights
will you be there?
Could these days
be forever?
Endless dreaming..
Endless time
together
in this place.
I bring you
a lavender rose
in your kitchen.
Embrace.
A little
kiss.

Rest

Darkness has become gray
Cars idling at the traffic signal
Cars driving by the front door
A restless city alive again
Asleep within the warmth
of bed heavy with blankets
I say goodbye as you rest
When you wake
may the day be good
may the day be kind
may it pass quickly
and bring rest
to you once more

Recent Words for The Muse

Thoughts of you consume me
I am helpless
before them
I submit
to you


Is it Love
or Passion
unfurled?


Would you rather see
a bird caged or
flying through the trees?


A Revolution In My Heart


How much longer
til I wake
up?


Will you stand for something
worth believing in?


Don't confuse communication for love.


Little kisses can mean the most."

Morning 5/20/18

If you are the heavens
I am the ocean
always beneathe
your loving gaze

Too many words
Too obvious a subject
Impossible to articulate
the burgeoning feeling
within my chest

There is a life
There is love
that has come before this
To be patient
To be kind
To let the river
of experience flow
To let the heart heal
and mend
To be understanding
of this journey
To be open hearted
To not be possessive
To be trusting

Perhaps
Now
is the only time
that matters

Purple and Green (freewrite)

I cannot think of what to write so I'm going to write all the same
and let the words fall where they may but the words will not fall
they will remain on this page as they should as they have been
placed with purpose by me as I have typed them out They speak
in the way they were designed and I have you on my mind but
who is the you and who is the I Image incarnate I see you face
I can hear your breath in my ears I can hear the sound of pleasure
from your lips and feel the sweat of midnight bodies It is no longer
night It is morning and grey skies color the heavens as they Sun
wonders how it is going to break through Blue skies are there
biding there time Patiently waiting to see us again I imagine my
self when I was a child and struggle to remember memories of
the life I lived the person I was at one time My body has grown
shifted and become something altogether different from the infant
I once was My mother is still here and I can see the ways in which
I take after her We share the same skin tone and a similar sense of
humor though I cannot cook at least not in the way that she can
but that is no fault of hers merely mine I continue to write without
purpose but all art could be perceived in this way by others but
that would be their loss and not of the artist How we speak What
we say How we say it These are all things that we struggle with
Deal with because we must Can I tell you her favorite colors
She said she loves Purple and Green I told her I love Blue and
Green I cannot wait to see her I feel like a child waiting for
Christmas every time I am apart from her I do not wish to be an
impatient lover I do not wish to crowd her I must be open and
trusting of her And I do love her And I do trust her That is what
I must do how I must also be Her name is on my lips but so is
the taste of sweetness the taste of her lips the taste of her sweat
the smell of her hair the memory of our bodies bare skin against
bare skin into a peaceful rest A rest where the world ceases to be

I Am Consumed By The Thought Of You.

The Voyage

I cannot tell you how many hours and days
passed with me standing at the shore looking
out at the ocean. After a while I began to wonder
at what might be in the waters. I walked to the
water and felt my feet become wet. I kept going
until the water was at my chest and began to swim.
And so I swam. I swam for days and nights without
rest. I went as long as I could and found nothing but
ocean surrounding me as far as I could see. Finally,
I saw a boat in the distance and began to swim towards
it frantically. My heart was pounding. My body was
aching from all the swimming. I couldn't give up yet,
I had to get to the boat. As I approached I could see
that it was a small wooden lifeboat. How long it had
been adrift and where it had come from I could not
begin to imagine. At last it was close enough that the
grain of wood on the planks became apparent. Pain
was wracking through me as I finally clutched the
boat. I held on for some time. There was no one
there to help. It was only the boat and I on the waves.
I managed to find enough strength to climb aboard.
Once inside there was nothing inside to give any
indication of anything. It was a simple wooden
lifeboat with one plank crossing its midsection
that I could use to sit upon. In my exhausted state I
fell asleep. A vast and dreamless sleep held me
for hours or days. I felt myself become the ocean
waters and the peace and power that is incarnate
within. Slowly my eyes opened. It was night.
Starry skies in the darkness shone upon the dark
waters. Constellations gazed into moving mirrored
waters. The night grew sick and faded into day.
The waves were gently passing by. I sat there with
no thoughts. I no longer felt hunger nor pain. I was
alive through a process I could not understand. Sleep
would come and go as it pleased through me. One
day after waking I was surprised to find a small island
off in the distance. We were quickly being pushed
towards it by the water. I could not believe. My heart
was furious and I had to calm myself through my
breathing. I could see sand and trees and all that
they promise. At last the boat beached itself onto the
sand. I fell out onto my knees and cried til I was
exhausted. When I could gather my strength I walked
the shore. In the near distance I could see something
resting on the sand. As I got closer it appeared to be
a box of some kind. The thick worn cardboard of it
was weathered. It felt like in my hands. I opened it
up and found this inscribed on a piece of paper.
"You are here now. I am here as well. Find me. Let's
end this loneliness together. Find me beneathe the
sun and stars. I am here. I am waiting." My search
for you has begun. Perhaps the end of loneliness is now.

Morning 5/17/18

Late night thoughts drifting
in between ears and eyes
until at last
eyes relent
and close up shop
for the night
Dreamless sleep

I awake
to your voice
greeting me
Separated by distance
but close enough
to greet each
other again


Gleaming green trumpet
glistening in morning light
One note then
three others
Rhythm and pitch
given life through
embouchure
and expelled air
Can it be
the sound of joy
filling the air?

All

All we have
All we need
is here
All I've desired
I have
Here
now with you

As The Sun Rises

I have no desire
to rise with the dawn
merely to find myself
content and next to you
To fill our world
with warmth
and peace
This
Only this
Forever this