Awake

I dreamt that I woke up. I got out of bed and put on
my shoes and walked out the door in my pajamas.
I walked down the street and into the city and then
I walked until I was no longer in the city. Vast fields
greeted me and I continued to walk as these silent
lands bathed sun and silence. Days and nights became
a quickening cycle until I stopped trying to keep track
of how much time had gone by. As I walked I listened
to my breathing. I would close my eyes as I inhaled
and open as I exhaled. I began to feel words emerge
from the sun, wind, and moon. They were simple
but spoke of a primal truth. And so I walked and
walked and walked. One day I looked at my hands
and saw the color of my skin fading. If anything
I began to become translucent. No matter, I kept
walking and breathing and listening. How many
days? How many weeks? How many months? How
many years? How many lifetimes? Did it matter?
My body began to fade slowly though I could still
feel the presence of all my body. I could still grasp
with my hands, I could still feel my feet upon the
ground, I, I simply became as though I were living
wind gliding over and through all the lands. Finally
there came the day that nothing was left of me to
see but I kept walking. And I walked further and
farther, until one day I began to dream and in that
dream...

Another Awakening

You wake up and you realize
you are dying
It doesn't bother you
as much as you would think
You are not dying from illness
or accident at the moment
merely the accretion of days
behind you but dying
is dying nonetheless
You wait for the sun
to peer through the gray
hazy morning but it has
been unable to do so
You put on a sweater
for a little extra warmth
You sit and listen
to nothing at all
to everything at all

Dreams That Call

Awake yet still dreaming
I see my past and future
Aligned within the same place
The place my parents called home
The place they left for a new life
I hear it's whispers calling
Through years and memory
It is patient with it's call
Calling a son home
To roots and soil
Blood of my ancestors
Home to those who gave
Me this life and
Gave life to
Them in turn

Awake

Awake
and yet

How to change

Easy-
it will be difficult
and gradual

Possible
always possible

Sleep less

You forgave me
I never forgave myself
Fiction writes itself over forgotten truths
Creates the illusion of reality
The baby is crying
You ask me to
come over
I walk from my chair to you
My steps are measured and uneven
Night will not pass and
I cannot sleep
Eventually the cries lessen
The calmness of the dark
bores into me
The ceiling fixes it's gaze
on my open eyes
until tears burst over
the edges of my eyelids

Half Dream

Half awake when I saw you
Floating through the cobbled 
paths of my mind

There was no sound to your step
What words could be said
None were fit to be uttered

Watching you pass me by
Before you joined the horizon
You turned to look at me

I am awake

I am awake because I have to. I am awake
because I am not dead. I am awake
because I am fully rested. I am awake
because I must work. I am awake because
I must run. I am awake because to further
sleep would bring me discomfort. I am
awake because the sun is bleeding through
the blinds. I am awake because I had to use
the bathroom. I am awake because there
is someone I love. I am awake because
sleep becomes boring. I am awake because
my hands cannot bear another moment
of inactivity. I am awake because the Earth
continues it's rotation. I am awake because
the news is an annoyance. I am awake
because I have something to tell you. I am
awake because I wonder where you are.
I am awake because I have nowhere to be.
I am awake because I have plans. I am awake
because my ambition needs little sleep. I
am awake because I hunger. I am awake
because I wake at a similar time most days.
I am awake because I am repetitive. I am
awake because because is a good enough
reason. I am awake because I seek to be
delighted by the unexpected. I am awake
because I expect nothing. I am awake
because the dog kicked me in its sleep.
I am awake because to not do so would
be disappointing but not altogether un-
foreseen in the grand scheme that people
seem to talk about from time to time. I am
awake because my fingers are at work
relaying words from my cpu. I am awake
because out there is a woman walking her
dog and I wonder if she knows I am
thinking of her.