Oh, Honey

I know the struggle
for peace of mind
Yet it doesn't get easier
How do we live
with ourselves
I ask myself
all the time
We do
for the most part
Peace and joy
and happiness
still live
still exist
even when we
have to dig deeper
to find them in
this life
How much pain
will you suffer
How many tears
will you shed
I cannot say
It hasn't been enough
There will be more
Always more
This life will never lack
for these
I will be there
suffering with you
We all must suffer
We must take our pain
and create a way
towards the light
This is the task
we must see through
but we are never alone

God in the Present

When I was God, I watched existence from my
omniscient perch in the heavens. I watched stars
come into being and die. I saw planets form and
life bloom from their primal reaches.

When I was God, I heard untold numbers of prayers
and hopes reach through the ether and take my ear,
pleading and hoping for my divine intervention to
make a difference in their lives.

When I was God, I was of myself and a part of this
existence. I could feel creation itself course through
me. My thoughts could wield anything into existence,
yet I had to learn how to restrain myself.

When I was God, I watched humanity in quiet wonder
as a parent watches a newborn. I saw my children be
cruel and kind and asked myself how we let one
another allow darkness of the heart.

When I was God, I grew tired and weary of existence
on my back. I wished to make myself separate from
myself. So, now I live as man quietly in this world,
watching and learning, waiting for a change.

Awake

Awake
and yet

How to change

Easy-
it will be difficult
and gradual

Possible
always possible

Thoughts from Morning Meditation

You who wish to dwell within hope and possibility.

To believe in more.

To see with our heart.

In our own way
we each feed
and grow from light.

Filling myself with the light of morning
I still my mind and feel essential vibrations

Peace. Chant. Peace. Om.

I am searching for the infinite light.

To be human is to seek.

Surrender the self.

See yourself as one part of a whole.
The whole is greater than any one of us can see.

Awaken to the possibility of how much
lies beneathe the surface of existence.

Finite self searching for the infinite self.

Still the mind and body.

To be closer to all of creation.

To create the better self through struggle.

To foster light and understanding in all creation.

Never Underestimate 
the Invisible War.

The Great Restlessness

Restlessness moves through me
  Impels me to stand
                   to walk
Restlessness reminds me
          of irreversible time
                    A river moving
                    forward unable
                    to be still
Able to take us
                    to sights
                    unseen

As human beings one of our great

abilities is to change ourselves

and our world. This can be only

accomplished through measured

steps and a steady commitment 

of willpower. 

I am not searching 
For cheap relief
Give me the real thing

Unseen Moments

I am not the man you think I am
But I am a man nonetheless
These days leave me shuddering
And senseless in the bathroom 
With the doors closed
I can't breath 
But I force a breath in 
Splash water on my face
And walk out 
To try again 
To keep going 
To try and not break down

Present tensions
Past life memories
Future tense relief

Unconscious Functions

Breathing because I must
Doing so unconsciously
My body keeps me alive
Heart couldn't think
Even if it wanted to
Brain couldn't beat like
My heart even if it tried
I see because I can
Because I open my eyes
Caught in this place
Victim only cause I let it be
This place
A place of unseen violence
Place of closed doors
And muffled sounds
Hushed words and
Cast off promises to be faithful
With no judgement
I watch and see
With judgement I turn and
Look away

The voice will emerge if the mind is opened.

My hands do not know
The master for whom they speak
Many living eyes

I awoke to find a garden in my mind.

On Running

I will run until I'm happy

I will run until I forget

   what I need to remember

Tenant of the Attic

My mind rattles in it's cage
and I grow alarmed

We get along beautifully
most days but

from time to time
it begins to worry

so I begin to worry
I tell it to

hold on
that this will pass

It always does
no matter what it is

Worries of one kind or
another always hang around

like the misfit in the back
corner of a classroom

Mind-
promise me

we'll always make up
after a fight

and forgive each other
for our shortcomings

Keeping the Light On

I felt the light switch toggle
back and forth
in my mind as I was running.

The darkness shifted behind
my eyes as I moved
under the afternoon sun.

I let it switch on and off and
on and off until
it reached the on position.

A self-correcting problem
that comes
and goes at it's leisure,

I don't have it figured out,
though, I'm not sure
there is anything to figure out.

use your mouth 

empty your mind

fill it up again