I'd crawl into your skull
But you're still alive
And I'm no ghoul
During the day
I dodged a bullet
But brained my head
Against that brick wall
The bruise is gone
I can still feel phantom pain
Or are my memories
Tearing apart old scars
Disconnection enabled
As only familiars can
It's fine to be this way
Out there alone
I'm drinking again
Are you home
Holding a book
Staring out
Your bedroom window?
Monday, October 31, 2016
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Recover the Dream
Upon waking remember
ing frag ments
of a life live d
by the mind
during the hours of
the witch
Acting in a sketch on a popular
late night show
Watching a sax player
with an immaculate sound
know ing he lives with demons
he pumps
into his veins
Nervous hands
an uneasy mind yet
ready and willing
to move
to act
and finally
waking
and
?
ing frag ments
of a life live d
by the mind
during the hours of
the witch
Acting in a sketch on a popular
late night show
Watching a sax player
with an immaculate sound
know ing he lives with demons
he pumps
into his veins
Nervous hands
an uneasy mind yet
ready and willing
to move
to act
and finally
waking
and
?
Friday, October 28, 2016
The Long Exile
Cast away the bonds of blood
Drowning in an unseen sea
Black womb waters
Inhale amniotic fluids
Caught in internal ocean
Open eyes can't behold
From this place
To another life
What safety is there
None my child
Find your way
Without my hand
In here
In here
From here
Cast out
Cast out
Expelled
Driven into the world
Find your brothers
And your sisters
Cast out
Expelled
Out there
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
RE: Death
All life exists in the shadow of death
but we cannot let our lives be defined
solely by this. We must live and act
according to our own nature and live
as boldly as possible.
but we cannot let our lives be defined
solely by this. We must live and act
according to our own nature and live
as boldly as possible.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Waltz
You wanted a dance together
So I obliged
Piano runs in waltz time
As our feet moved
To the count of three / four
That moment
Could have been forever
And
in some
small way
It is
So I obliged
Piano runs in waltz time
As our feet moved
To the count of three / four
That moment
Could have been forever
And
in some
small way
It is
Monday, October 24, 2016
The Hour Grows Late
There is nothing left in her room except for piles
of books, notebooks, and loose sheets of paper.
It looks as though a small library exploded.
I read through thoughts, one-off lines, poems,
and short stories organized into no organization.
The mind is a beautiful thing as it seeks to exist
outside of itself. Right now I am projecting my
interpretation of her reality through my lens.
One day it is possible that someone else will do
this for me and the piles of writing in my room.
That is not now. Now is time to write in these
dark spaces of night. To find some semblance of
order in a world that delights in chaos as much
as organization.
of books, notebooks, and loose sheets of paper.
It looks as though a small library exploded.
I read through thoughts, one-off lines, poems,
and short stories organized into no organization.
The mind is a beautiful thing as it seeks to exist
outside of itself. Right now I am projecting my
interpretation of her reality through my lens.
One day it is possible that someone else will do
this for me and the piles of writing in my room.
That is not now. Now is time to write in these
dark spaces of night. To find some semblance of
order in a world that delights in chaos as much
as organization.
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Morning Ghost
My life has gone and only memories of me
Will remain with you.
It was too soon, far sooner than
Any of us would have wanted.
How romantic is it to idealize this
Post-life existence?
I have left the room we shared
For my lifetime
And walked into the backyard
That leads into the forest.
There are paths here
Worn well into the dirt
Amidst the evergreens.
It is not possible for you to ever
Lose me entirely.
Mourn where you must,
You will, and I will
Hold you in my own way
As your tears flow
Like existence itself.
Is death freedom?
It can be seen as such
But there is much
I would still return to
Back home if the pulse
could have been found.
Will remain with you.
It was too soon, far sooner than
Any of us would have wanted.
How romantic is it to idealize this
Post-life existence?
I have left the room we shared
For my lifetime
And walked into the backyard
That leads into the forest.
There are paths here
Worn well into the dirt
Amidst the evergreens.
It is not possible for you to ever
Lose me entirely.
Mourn where you must,
You will, and I will
Hold you in my own way
As your tears flow
Like existence itself.
Is death freedom?
It can be seen as such
But there is much
I would still return to
Back home if the pulse
could have been found.
Friday, October 21, 2016
Thursday, October 20, 2016
Carved Into Rock
Older, fatter, balder,
The fate of us all is hewn into rock
Visible for all to see
In every known and dead tongue
Belief in a pantheon of gods
Becomes another's mythology
We believe in our own wisdom
Yet often miss the glaring light
Of day blinding us in our mirror
This cruel life makes our youth
All too brief and beautiful
As we spend the rest of our lives
Chasing what is replenished
Without us
The fate of us all is hewn into rock
Visible for all to see
In every known and dead tongue
Belief in a pantheon of gods
Becomes another's mythology
We believe in our own wisdom
Yet often miss the glaring light
Of day blinding us in our mirror
This cruel life makes our youth
All too brief and beautiful
As we spend the rest of our lives
Chasing what is replenished
Without us
Messenger of God
No one would believe a messenger of God today.
There have been far too many false prophets
Who were, quite frankly, too damn crazy.
If God were to make a well-known public figure
Her new prophet there would be much skepticism
From the general public and rightly so.
If God were attempting to reach us then perhaps
Sending a prophet is no longer the best way
To send commandments and updates to the most
Recent testament. The Bible could stand to use
An update given the state of the modern world.
The Bible has no firm stance on people who fail
To use their turn signals while changing lanes.
The Bible could, at the very least, have some
updated parables. Perhaps God has given up
On the concept of prophets. Perhaps She is
Reaching us through new means that we have
Yet to acknowledge as such. I can touch you
From a distance when you pull out your phone
And stare at the lit screen. How easy would it be
For God to merely send us a reminder text about
Her infinite and never ending love.
There have been far too many false prophets
Who were, quite frankly, too damn crazy.
If God were to make a well-known public figure
Her new prophet there would be much skepticism
From the general public and rightly so.
If God were attempting to reach us then perhaps
Sending a prophet is no longer the best way
To send commandments and updates to the most
Recent testament. The Bible could stand to use
An update given the state of the modern world.
The Bible has no firm stance on people who fail
To use their turn signals while changing lanes.
The Bible could, at the very least, have some
updated parables. Perhaps God has given up
On the concept of prophets. Perhaps She is
Reaching us through new means that we have
Yet to acknowledge as such. I can touch you
From a distance when you pull out your phone
And stare at the lit screen. How easy would it be
For God to merely send us a reminder text about
Her infinite and never ending love.
On Tears
Tears are natural
Perhaps the most natural of things
To be produced by us
In the course of our lives
Tears shed by a wounded body
Or heart or perhaps
A dawn too beautiful
To be believed
The tears shed by a child
Before learning to speak
Are the most pure of all tears
In the known world
I am trying to remember the last
Time I cried big pouring
Tears from my eyes down to
My chin and onto the ground
Salted tears cannot help be
That way My niece was crying
And her tears were flowing and
Her face was as red as her cries
The anguish of pain
We do anything to relieve it
Within ourselves and those
Closest to us
Tears are not flowing from me now
They will given enough time
I will have no choice other than
To let them fall
Perhaps the most natural of things
To be produced by us
In the course of our lives
Tears shed by a wounded body
Or heart or perhaps
A dawn too beautiful
To be believed
The tears shed by a child
Before learning to speak
Are the most pure of all tears
In the known world
I am trying to remember the last
Time I cried big pouring
Tears from my eyes down to
My chin and onto the ground
Salted tears cannot help be
That way My niece was crying
And her tears were flowing and
Her face was as red as her cries
The anguish of pain
We do anything to relieve it
Within ourselves and those
Closest to us
Tears are not flowing from me now
They will given enough time
I will have no choice other than
To let them fall
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Buyers & Sellers
Most of us have very little
So we sell the only thing
We can possibly provide
In order to survive
The very little time
We have been given
In which to be alive
So we sell the only thing
We can possibly provide
In order to survive
The very little time
We have been given
In which to be alive
To Be
The act of living is such a hard load
For the living creatures of this world to bear.
It thus was life itself that sought to offer respite
Each day through the simple regenerative act
We have come to know as sleep. The ability
To let subconscious thought emerge fully
Formed beneathe the closed eyes of a weary
Body enables leaps of thought not possible
Through conscious means. Waking is a gradual
State marked by minor movements and
Adjustments until mind and body have
Reached a level of equilibrium in order
Endure the harsh reality of existence
For the living creatures of this world to bear.
It thus was life itself that sought to offer respite
Each day through the simple regenerative act
We have come to know as sleep. The ability
To let subconscious thought emerge fully
Formed beneathe the closed eyes of a weary
Body enables leaps of thought not possible
Through conscious means. Waking is a gradual
State marked by minor movements and
Adjustments until mind and body have
Reached a level of equilibrium in order
Endure the harsh reality of existence
On Hibernation
Winter can only slow the beating
Of a hibernating heart
It can never be cold enough
To kill the creature entirely
Of a hibernating heart
It can never be cold enough
To kill the creature entirely
Cursed Beast
Between spaces
Frames of reference removed
Bridging distance by means
Once thought to be fantasy
How can love be felt
Through prolonged absence
How can love linger
Like a beast cursed
With immortality
Frames of reference removed
Bridging distance by means
Once thought to be fantasy
How can love be felt
Through prolonged absence
How can love linger
Like a beast cursed
With immortality
Friday, October 14, 2016
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Between Now and Eternity
The space between now and eternity
Can best be measured as the length
Of an ordinary human life. I am here.
This cannot last. This will not last.
Illusion of endless time aided by a life
Of comfort free from primal hardship.
See beyond the ordinary. Laugh at
This expression of the mundane
Passed off as profound wisdom.
The ordinary will keep you from
Searching. It will bind you to the
Chair from which you are reading this.
How we react to the tension between
Extremes will define us.
Can best be measured as the length
Of an ordinary human life. I am here.
This cannot last. This will not last.
Illusion of endless time aided by a life
Of comfort free from primal hardship.
See beyond the ordinary. Laugh at
This expression of the mundane
Passed off as profound wisdom.
The ordinary will keep you from
Searching. It will bind you to the
Chair from which you are reading this.
How we react to the tension between
Extremes will define us.
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Disconnect
She's alone by herself in a bed
That had once been their bed.
I know this only because
She says so.
She posted a picture of herself
With the covers up to her nose
Alone with her cat.
At this late hour
It would be easy for me
To judge character.
I am no one to judge
Anyone at half-past
Midnight. Alone
In my room with only
These words, some music
And a drink
To keep the night at bay.
That had once been their bed.
I know this only because
She says so.
She posted a picture of herself
With the covers up to her nose
Alone with her cat.
At this late hour
It would be easy for me
To judge character.
I am no one to judge
Anyone at half-past
Midnight. Alone
In my room with only
These words, some music
And a drink
To keep the night at bay.
Departure Point*
I'm sorry you had to find me like this.
Alone in my car by the beach.
I didn't think you'd be the one.
I figured it would be a cop
Leaving a ticket on my windshield or
Some random stranger.
I wanted to see the sun set over the
Ocean one last time. It was gorgeous
The way the light shifted into pastels
In the clouds above the sea. The waves
Were rippling sheets of silver coming in
And out. I breathed the salty air
To the rhythm of the waves. It was then
I felt myself letting go. It made it easier.
Let me say SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY
To an endless exponential degree.
This wasn't easy. I know I've made
Needless new complications but I
Never questioned the love I was given.
I needed more than this life could give.
I needed more than I could give.
I can now watch the waves from
A new and distant shore.
*Dedicated to D.S. and to L. who found him.
Alone in my car by the beach.
I didn't think you'd be the one.
I figured it would be a cop
Leaving a ticket on my windshield or
Some random stranger.
I wanted to see the sun set over the
Ocean one last time. It was gorgeous
The way the light shifted into pastels
In the clouds above the sea. The waves
Were rippling sheets of silver coming in
And out. I breathed the salty air
To the rhythm of the waves. It was then
I felt myself letting go. It made it easier.
Let me say SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY
To an endless exponential degree.
This wasn't easy. I know I've made
Needless new complications but I
Never questioned the love I was given.
I needed more than this life could give.
I needed more than I could give.
I can now watch the waves from
A new and distant shore.
*Dedicated to D.S. and to L. who found him.
Monday, October 10, 2016
Friday, October 7, 2016
Infinite Curves of a Bending Universe (Freewrite)
Infinite Curves of a Bending Universe
Where does find beauty and hope
When it cannot be found within
Austere and Monastic
This life of unintentional living
Without your living voice
This world became sadder
And uglier
You are still missed
And thus it shall always be
A degraded place
Without you in it
Love is no thing
It is also not nothing
It is best presented
By the algebraic variable X
We must solve for it
Even if we grow frustrated
In pursuit of it
I promise nothing to myself
I have learned to break
Promises more easily
Than it should be
I ache at my misspent years
Or have they been
A masters class in finding
Reason from nothing
Source of my desire
I think of you often
When your image appears
I am overcome by you
Scarcely do we see another
Building walls of ill reason
I keep approaching you
From nowhere
Darling, there was a moment
the world could have changed
We would have instigated
The shift but we abstained
And let this world continue
On it's faulty course
From this distant shore
I admire your beauty
And memory
And think of an evening
Where possibility
Was more than possible
A Monument to the Eternal
Lost from this life
I mourn you
Memory is burned into
Eternal monument
Dearest
Lost from this place
I shed tears turned to stone
On your grave
I would have been fortunate
To have been taken first
Agony of the living
Memory comforts and haunts
Sunrise Sunset
Promise and heartache
To the horizon
I reach for you
Will join you
Let time be fleeting
Let what remains fall away
Let me return
To the elements
Let me journey
Towards the eternal
What I Know is Incomplete and Tenuous at Best
A World Reborn and Recast
Into an Image Never Before Seen
Alone with no one to love
She sees me walking to Her
Will our eyes meet
Will I walk by
With nary a glance
Sun rises and sets
Whether or not we are there
To bear it witness
Loaded and alone
Rest your head here dearest one
Alone at morning
Nothing is for free
Should it ever really be
Sleep well tonight dear
Where does find beauty and hope
When it cannot be found within
Austere and Monastic
This life of unintentional living
Without your living voice
This world became sadder
And uglier
You are still missed
And thus it shall always be
A degraded place
Without you in it
Love is no thing
It is also not nothing
It is best presented
By the algebraic variable X
We must solve for it
Even if we grow frustrated
In pursuit of it
I promise nothing to myself
I have learned to break
Promises more easily
Than it should be
I ache at my misspent years
Or have they been
A masters class in finding
Reason from nothing
Source of my desire
I think of you often
When your image appears
I am overcome by you
Scarcely do we see another
Building walls of ill reason
I keep approaching you
From nowhere
Darling, there was a moment
the world could have changed
We would have instigated
The shift but we abstained
And let this world continue
On it's faulty course
From this distant shore
I admire your beauty
And memory
And think of an evening
Where possibility
Was more than possible
A Monument to the Eternal
Lost from this life
I mourn you
Memory is burned into
Eternal monument
Dearest
Lost from this place
I shed tears turned to stone
On your grave
I would have been fortunate
To have been taken first
Agony of the living
Memory comforts and haunts
Sunrise Sunset
Promise and heartache
To the horizon
I reach for you
Will join you
Let time be fleeting
Let what remains fall away
Let me return
To the elements
Let me journey
Towards the eternal
What I Know is Incomplete and Tenuous at Best
A World Reborn and Recast
Into an Image Never Before Seen
Alone with no one to love
She sees me walking to Her
Will our eyes meet
Will I walk by
With nary a glance
Sun rises and sets
Whether or not we are there
To bear it witness
Loaded and alone
Rest your head here dearest one
Alone at morning
Nothing is for free
Should it ever really be
Sleep well tonight dear
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Hammer & Master
I cannot wield myself
Guide me to the head
The nail i must hammer down
Beat myself until
You lay me to rest
Turn me around
To pull nails from a wall
Helpless
I find myself in you
Forget me when
You don't need me
Hidden here
Useless in this box
Until you need me again
Guide me to the head
The nail i must hammer down
Beat myself until
You lay me to rest
Turn me around
To pull nails from a wall
Helpless
I find myself in you
Forget me when
You don't need me
Hidden here
Useless in this box
Until you need me again
Monday, October 3, 2016
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Saturday, October 1, 2016
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