Ocean

I am the ocean 

I am the water 

I am the reefs

I am the whales

I am the sunken wrecks

I am the placid waters

I am the schools of fish

I am the kelp washing ashore

I am the deepest reaches of the dark

I am the sharks swimming near shore

I am the crabs and the lobsters

I am the salt in my waters

I am the seven seas

I am peaceful 

I am the tempest

I am foaming tides

I am friend

I am enemy

I am unconquerable

I am the ocean

returning to shore

Bury me in the water
off the coast of my favorite beach
Spread my ashes
Let me float
Carried on the the swells
I'll swim back to shore
I'll find the new life
I was always hoping for

Convergence

Heat of summer nights

Daylight trapped within walls

All plans laid undone

Dark waves rolling in 

Still shores at rest

Breathing quietly

Where does the darkness

of sky and ocean converge

Unified into a point

far beyond the horizon

Looking and looking

Finding no answer

Innerwaves

Waves are cycling back and forth
on the shores of my mind
Thoughts crash on the sand
and recede back into the ocean
only to return again in new forms
How long can these thoughts last
Can it be that it could last a lifetime
I close my eyes and listen
Waves coming in and out
from a hidden beach

Late Night Call

Calling me from my room
I get out of bed
and get into my car
I begin driving
through the night
Passing easily through
empty streets
Mile by mile until
the land opens up to
the black sea
flanking my left
At least I come to rest
With windows rolled down
I begin to listen
to the waters calling
Night after night
my blood is drawn
to this shore
I listen as if it were
the only sound
worth listening to
in this life

baptized by salt water

to wake early is to witness the world emerge from
the darkness and into itself. to see the sun reveal it's
face by the gradual shift of the sky. birds speak in
babel talk and I wonder how or if they can decode
the languages between them. sunday morning and
the church bells will toll soon. to wake and to worship
as our fathers and mothers before us. my church
surrounds me at all times. i kneel before the ocean
and am baptized in salt water. this life healing and
renewing me. I who can be weary wish only to live
in the state of joy and happiness. to do so is to foster
that within and bring it to the world.

Morning Thoughts 5/6/17

Need and desire to transcend

Drifting along on ocean currents
Shore comes into view
Swim to land or keep riding the tides

You wake and wonder
if it is the same dream over and over
Waking in a small town
Home of your parents and grandparents
Rising from a hammock into
the warmth of morning
Birds greet you from the trees
as the bell in the town square tolls the hour
These images comfort you
Home or a place like it
You are still yourself no matter where

It is the errand of a fool to believe
that ignoring the world,
ignoring the self
is any way to live well.
It is not. It cannot be the way.
Too many fall into this trap
of false security.
The self is always there
no matter what.
We must face ourselves
with open honesty.

The Dream, Part 1

In this dream I wasn't running. In fact, nothing of the sort
was even happening. It was quite different than that.

I opened my eyes and immediately saw boundless gray sky.
Formless, it stretched across vast and uninterrupted. It was
quiet and still. I sat up and realized I was in a small boat. It
felt like perhaps it was more of an old lifeboat than anything.
In every direction I could see there was nothing but still water.
I could see no sight of land. I felt a slight motion in the water
and the boat began to very slowly move along. Aside from
the slight motion of the boat there was no other kind of action
or sound to be heard. It was a stillness so all encompassing
that it felt absolutely total. There was a strange beauty to it.
As far as I could tell there was no day or night. The hours
passed with no change to the sky or light. It simply was.
I lay down on my back and closed my eyes. I focused on
my breathing. I tried to keep my breath measured and steady.

Walk the Waves

First light and there is
no one around
Alone in silence
I walk down the hill
Sloping towards the beach
Waves call louder with each step
Sand gives and shifts below my feet
Water foams and licks the shore
At last the touch of cold water
soaks my feet and electrifies
my body into full alertness
I press forward into the
water as I sink deeper
into the salty depths
as my clothes cling
to me and my hair
grows wet I bob
up for a breath
inhale deeply
submerge
see the
land
bel
ow

To Listen

I dream in colors
appearing
and blending
as though they
were a sea of
shifting tides
giving birth to
one another.

The sea within me
moves and grows
as I learn to
listen to it's
songs. I do not
always understand
the language it
speaks but I know
I must listen.

When the voice
speaks it speaks
in measured tone
so it can be
understood.
Calling to me
in a faintness
almost over
powered
by wind
I close my eyes
and find
the words
it seeks
to give me.

Journey Home

I and the water
  flowing through the street
  are the same
Passing through
  looking to meet
and be part 
  of the great Ocean
once more

If the wind is my Father and 
The ocean is my Mother,
What am I?

Shivering Skeleton Fingers

weight of years
carry me down
from great heights
into the ground
blind my eyes
recreate me
into new life
new eyes
let me move
up from the
ground and
onto grass
and skies
let me accept
eventuality
let me be at
peace with
life itself
let me touch
soil upon which
I stand and let
my feet bathe
in ocean waters
remind me
always of this
fragile gift

Departure Point*

I'm sorry you had to find me like this.
Alone in my car by the beach.
I didn't think you'd be the one.
I figured it would be a cop
Leaving a ticket on my windshield or
Some random stranger.

I wanted to see the sun set over the
Ocean one last time. It was gorgeous
The way the light shifted into pastels
In the clouds above the sea. The waves
Were rippling sheets of silver coming in
And out. I breathed the salty air
To the rhythm of the waves. It was then
I felt myself letting go. It made it easier.
Let me say SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY
To an endless exponential degree.
This wasn't easy. I know I've made
Needless new complications but I
Never questioned the love I was given.
I needed more than this life could give.
I needed more than I could give.
I can now watch the waves from
A new and distant shore.

*Dedicated to D.S. and to L. who found him.

The Ocean Within Your Heart

Function & Purpose

I have accidentally been saving my thoughts
for moments like these

Don't ask me where this all came from
This is simply a function of my existence

Would you ask the River
why do you flow to the Ocean?

We can't predict the strength 
of the waves but we can always 
be assured they are coming. 

Elemental Kisses

If I were the wind
You would be the sea
Our kisses
Would make the waves
Lapping the shore
And the world 
Would know
How much
I love you.

The Push of Waves

Enough flesh had decayed from the head
that by the time I came across it at the beach
I could see the skull of the dead seal.

Patches of skin were gone but it largely
remained whole. I walked up to it,
curious to see such a creature up close.

I felt no sadness as I stood before it,
merely a sense of certainty at what befalls
all living things in time.

The waves rushed in and pushed the body
further up on the sand. It rolled over
and came to rest further from the water.

Wind bit my face as I pulled the hood
of my sweater over my head.
The tide inched closer by the moment.

It would not rest until it drowned my feet
or pushed me further from its touch.
In the end the ocean got what it wanted.

Heart of the Ocean

Wet sand covers my feet
as an airplane flies overhead.
There must be people looking
through their windows,
dimly aware of my existence
as they leave the ground.
The sea appears endless
from the beach
but it ends at every point
it touches shore.
I will never know
the deep heart of the ocean
but I know it is there,
filled with nothing,
filled with everything.
I can say the same about me.