The Selves

It's best I've changed.

I've been a fool 

for most of my days.

I shouldn't feel embarrassed

because it's fading 

into the distance

of the rearview mirror.

I'll make new mistakes

but they'll be better mistakes.

Of that I am sure. 

How do the trees feel

year after year,

season after season?

Are they ready for the winter?

Are they longing for spring?

They are no fools.

They are obedient

only to themselves. 

Unified

How do you define the abstract?

Peace.

Such a monumental word!

So much contained

within five letters.

An endless goal

for countries and self.

Is it quiet?

Is it stillness?

Is it a stoic mind?

Peace.

What image is in your mind?

Sitting on the sand

as the waves come and go.

A stray seagull flying by.

The great yolk

falling into the sea.

Wars have been waged for peace.

Almost all ended unsuccessfully.

Are you a bodhisattva?

Are you a Saint?

Are you an enlightened atheist?

Can I tell you a secret?

There is no division between us.

There never has been.

POV

Who is the eye

which sees?

Who is the you

which sees?

Who is the I

which is me?

Who is the you

between us?

Who who who

is asked endlessly.

Who I was

is not who you were,

who you were

is not who I am.

The who and why

is always the question.

The answer is always

subject to change

without notice.

Telescope

That which was bound 

becomes un.

Condensed matter

scattered

into infinite expanse

ever expanding,

bringing light

to the far corners

of infinity.

Pale blue,

swirls of white,

smears of green,

smudges of brown.

Skeletal arms

held in place,

reddish brown

leaves

stubbornly cling.

A lonely being

still clothed

before

the snow.

The Reason

This has always been

to ease my mind

to ease my heart

of worry

and dread

to lay my fears

and insecurities bare

to see them before me

in words so plain

to let myself

feel the pain

to let myself 

move on

to live on

and feel

a measure of joy

to feel the sun 

on my face

in November

Cuts

If I cut myself open

will you love me more?

How many secrets,

how much truth

do you want from me?

Will you take the blade

and press it to your belly?

Steady your hand.

Let me give you mine.

There is no special wisdom in my words

I hope that's not why you're here

I remember what it is to hold on and let go

I'm learning still and it will always be this way

Unsentimental

I love you

You are unsentimental

but it's only an act

You love me too

On these cold nights

beneath blankets

your head nestled 

on my shoulder

your hand resting

over my beating heart

There is peace 

between us 

in our imperfection

It wasn't always this way

But it is now

and for as long

as love can endure

The Speaker

I speak to myself

Make promises

Make wishes

Say dreams 

and ambitions

Fears and uncertainties

The voice is always speaking

and I can never 

get a word in edgewise

I have always been this way

What can I do

but listen

and hope I can learn

something

from myself

from the world

I find myself in

Twelve Years

When you said it had been

twelve years

my disbelief covered me

in anxiety.

Had it really been that long?

Had that many years

passed between our lives?

It took me only a moment

to realize you were right.

So many of those years

I spent unknowingly 

lost in the cloud of my life.

My pursuits and ambitions

got the best of me

and pushed me 

to the edge of the canyon.

I had to learn to make peace

with life.

I had to learn to make peace

with myself.

I am a student

and always will.

When I look at the pictures

of the two of us

I feel as old as I look.

You look as though

a portrait of you hangs

hidden in an attic.

You told me 

you feel your age.

That when you smile

the crows feet appear

and I wonder how 

they ever tread 

upon your face.

You said your daughter

would be at home here-

the place we both grew up.

I could see you fully in her.

I know you're right.

I told you to come back.

Come back home

and let your daughter

reach her hand to the moon

and hold it with all her might.