A Letter to Fred

I just wanted to let you know

those two pairs of marching band sticks

are sitting on top of the upright piano

in New York at my Father-in-Law's house.

He asked if there was a reason they 

were so thick. I explained the taper of the

shoulder and the high tension marching

drums are tuned to.

I told him who you were and that Brian 

was the one who invited to his storage unit

to take any of your gear I wanted.

I just wanted you to know, Fred.

Seentience

Standing here

Feet sinking into earth

Ground hardens around me

Am I to blame

The trees are breathing again

Will The Suffering Be Worth The Sacrifice

You turned the page and it was blank.

Memory is a glass flower

sitting on a ledge.

A strong wind blows.

What will survive?

Slow Dance at the End of the World

Cradling my head in your hands

Wind calling names

Humming to me 

We move back and forth

The moon

a cracked egg

suspended

Her dragons

finally free

That Which Persists

Light spreading thick and evenly 

over lush green canopy

Cautiously gauging every step

deer peer through trunks and branches

Grazing leisurely as though

death were a distant hunter

Red Robin looks this way

and that- finally flies away

A small fire cooks the food

for the breaking of the fast

Grandmother is always awake

before the dawn

Grandfather is already walking

home with a cord of wood

slung onto his back

Grandchildren dreaming

until the Sandman 

gives them their leave

New Continents in the Old World

faint glow of light

lining the edge of the horizon

how far out can you see

bluebird emerging 

from its nest

will you greet me

at dusk

Humane Money

When has money

ever been the answer

to any real problem

No one talks about

how greedy and selfish 

some of us are

They are a small minority

but have caused so much

hardship for the rest

There is enough food

There is enough shelter

There are enough resources

The need to monetize

the necessary makes us

less humane than we think

The Poem

This isn't fiction, this is a poem.

There is a difference.

This poem is unlike many other poems,

it is also very similar to many other poems.

It is here as a small bit of entertainment.

A temporary relief from life,

a moment of contemplation,

an exploration of beauty, mortality,

and the human condition.

This poem is deadly serious.

This poem is mildly non-sensical,

This poem is self-reflective,

possibly even self-reflexive.

This poem in an exploration of expectation.

This poem is being written

late in the morning.

What is this making you think?

Has this been humorous?

Has this been serious?

Has this been in play?

Have you put the page down?

Why?

Why not?

Om

My voice is older than your species.

I speak in a tongue without words.

You can hear me in the rushes of water,

in the fluttering of leaves, in the geologic

silence of the desert heat. I speak and

I wait. I listen and sit, waiting for the 

epochs to pass. Omniscient. I am no god.

I am everything. I am nothing. 

I pervade all. I am all. I can feel

the beating of the deers heart.

I can feel your lungs rising and falling.

I feel the bee landing on the yellow petal.

We are. Yes, we are. 

Body. Organs. Cells.

Separate. United. Whole.

We Sailors

A ship cannot 

achieve it's goal

if left moored.

Pull up anchor.

Free yourself

from the dock.

Rain Approaches

Grey clouds hang heavily.

Rainfall approaches.

The day will be 

what it will be.

Close the doors

and windows.

Sit down

and open

the book

to the page

you last read.

A new world waits.

Temple in the Jungle

You have to live with yourself.

You have to live with everything you've done

and with everything you'll do.

I feared myself for too long.

I let the shame of my actions grow tendrils

deeper in my mind over the years.

I watered the soil every day.

Soon, the temple was overrun by jungle.

I lost my way. No one could find me.

Finally, I began screaming for help.

This wasn't where I wanted to be.

I reached out into the darkness

and she grasped my hand.

Waking days later,

still trembling but alive.

I am here.

So many days I should have died

and I persisted.

I must go on.

Choice

I think of you more often than you know.

Missing what's no longer mine

I'm consumed.

Where are the waves?

Standing on a dead shore

wondering about the moon above.

Choice is a prison.

Pick wisely.

the birds can hear me

they turn and then fly away

summer burns through me

The Astronaut

How would you live your life if

it were free from worry,

free from the responsibilities

which bind you, 

free from yourself?

I have been waking from my sleep

and rediscovering 

small pieces of myself.

They no longer fit the image

they once created. 

Yet I recognize myself 

in them all the same.

How is it possible to live

so many lives in the span

of this gift we have been given?

How can the child and the man

be the same? 

Shared memories tethering

one age to the next.

What is carried, 

what is left behind?

I am an astronaut

adrift in space.

Starlight calling me.

The ship has gone.

Everywhere is home.

I close my eyes

and feel infinity filling me.

small reminder to you

Wake up first thing in the morning and

remind yourself how great it is to be

here once again and give everything

another chance.

You may not always feel that way but

think it, or say it, anyway. If all your 

loved ones are doing well, give thanks

for that as well, especially.

Endurance

My grandmother's lined face is smiling.

She's holding a dog in her arms and

is holding it up to the camera.

My grandfather's tired body is standing 

as upright as he can manage with the 

walker and counter in front of him.

My mother sent me these photos of them

last night after I was already asleep.

At times like these I feel as though

they could live forever.

Runner

Every ghost will live again

Don't wait for prophecy to come true 

Years are meaningless

Change is everything

The pain destroys me

rebuilds me over and over

Endure and survive

Survive and build anew

Don't wait for the starting gun

Just run run run

Broken Compass

The oozing stain of time

won't leave me clean

Put it in the wash

but it'll never be the same

Drifting through 

nights and back

to days again

The same old sights

are always new

with these old eyes

Hello dear 

how are you

How's the family

How's the kids

How's everything been

Precious time running 

a four minute mile

How are we aging 

backwards in old photos

Possibility still looms

Choices carry more 

weight than before

I wonder about 

everything

even more than before

Remind me to breathe

I'm too forgetful

For Kristen and Emily

I want you to know in all ways

just how loved and missed you are.

The distance that divides us 

is merely land.

There will be greater distances

one day, but not today.

I am thinking of what 

I should say.

Be good, be kind, 

to yourselves and others

in all ways.

It won't be easy but try.

There will be days and nights

that will cause you to think

you should give up.

The darkness will bathe you

at those times.

Bear it, endure it, 

and let it mold you

into someone 

stronger and wiser.

Your strength

will be revealed to you

in this way.

Strive for perfection

but know none of us

can ever fully attain it.

It's ok to not be perfect.

Learn to be yourselves.

Wear different guises

at different times.

Some will stick,

some won't but that's ok.

You're loved no matter what.

Don't allow yourselves to hate

without depth.

Your time and energy 

is too precious to waste

on such negativity.

In place of anger or hatred

create art, or involve yourselves

in helping others.

Push back the darkness

with kindness and creativity.

If it feels hopeless 

do it all the same.

You are the beacon of light

for yourselves and others.

Learn every day.

To learn and educate yourselves

is far more than merely

what we are taught in school.

Observe others. Learn from their mistakes.

Make your own mistakes and learn from them.

Let no moment be wasted.

Allow yourselves to fully inhabit the present.

What does that mean?

Listen. See. Hear. 

Every moment is a gift.

Every moment is the only moment.

If the past haunts you

know it has passed.

If the future troubles you

know it is not yet here.

If the present troubles you

know that it will pass.

Always prepare but know

that everything and everyone

is subject to change without notice.

Be able to adjust at a moment's notice.

Some of life's greatest adventures

will begin in this way.

Know that not everything 

will be known to you.

Allow for mystery and wonder

to be part of your life.

Go to the beach, close your eyes,

and listen to the waves.

Go to the forest, close your eyes,

and listen to the wind in the trees.

Go to the desert, close your eyes,

and listen.

Those who loved you most dearly

when you were born

will most likely not be the same

as those who love you

when we meet on the other shore.

Learn to let things go.

Learn that holding on 

can be the thing that hurts us most.

Laugh every day. Laugh the kind

of laughter that makes you gasp for air.

Remember that so much of life is play.

Be joyful.

Take only what you need.

Give the rest away.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Be kind.

I love you.

El Dios de Lluvia

My cup overflows

I lap the water 

from the table top

Precious

too precious

to waste

What did 

Father

used to say

Remember your 

grandmother

bringing water

up from the well

bucket

by bucket

Unrelenting sun

Eight children

to feed

Her husband 

toiling 

in the fields

Cha'ac

the old God

gifting rain

Humbled

How do we remember

How do we recall

the hours of the days

too far gone

to remember

the color of the sky

How it felt

How it feels still

to have those moments

live again

behind our eyes

How lucky

How fortunate

to have felt 

the love

the joy

given to us

Even now

in tears

I am humbled

Kingdom

Enchant me with your voice,

words escaping lips

effortlessly-

sailing upon

invisible tides

from shore to shore

Where do the leaves 

fall in order to rest

or be cast onto the air

My heart untethered

searching for home

finding only love

knowing and feeling

What kingdom

What throne

do I sit upon?

From City to Forest

I could feel the tension in my body

as we moved through our days in the city.

Managing my unease to keep going

was enough to leave me exhausted.

Coming home to our bed, to our 

place of comfort, surrounded by green

leaves, deer, and lakes, gives my soul

the peace of mind I need now.

I ask myself if this is a necessary 

time of rest and contemplation 

as the gears turn towards the next

phase of being. Does everyone 

do this? When does this hit for them?

I suppose the answer is yes and

it depends. Am I the audience

watching reruns late at night,

talking over old story lines

and wondering what it all meant?

With every question answered

two more appear. With every problem

solved another comes into view.

This is life. This is how it is,

how it has always been. Do I think

myself special? I want to but history

bears out a different answer. 

This body, this mind, living in and 

out of balance, knowing pleasure 

and pain, knowing the sweet 

and bitter. My words are no more

than trite attempt at facsimile 

of what is unrepeatable. 

I want my love to grow.

I want to spread understanding.

There is never enough time

but there is still time.

In these days of endless winter

I comfort myself thinking of 

the summers of my youth.

Clenched Jaw

I can't help it sometimes

the way I tense and clench my jaw.

I'll notice it every now and then

and tell myself to relax, 

to ease up on it.

Most of the time it helps.

Other times I have to open

my mouth wide and

take a gulp of air.

I've gotten better

in a lot of ways

but there are others

I'll always be working on.

There is no journey 

in this poem,

it is barely even a poem, 

but I had to tell you

and I had to tell myself 

this right now.

Be kind to yourself.

You're all you've got.

Lungs

If I don't tell myself to breathe

sometimes I'll forget

Keep breathing

Keep moving

It's what I have to do

to survive

to make it through this

Can't speed up time

Just live it

day by day

Fall Approaches

I want something mindless to pass the time

It's too easy to do this in all ways

Daunted by choice 

I choose mindless something's 

day by day until I can look in the mirror

Do myself proud I tell myself 

Summer is fading 

I can feel the chill of fall

coming on