Unintended Balance

In less than a day
I thought of elementary school
far more
than at any time
since I had been in there.

One of my oldest
and dearest
of friends
had just given birth
to a beautiful boy.

I was ecstatic
at the news.
I felt nothing
but joy
at such good tidings
for her.

A few hours later
I heard news
of a former classmate
who had just died
from cancer.

Honestly,
I felt very little.
I did not hate him
nor did I love him.

We were of the same age
and faith, but we were never close.

I last saw him over 12 years ago
in passing.

I sit here wondering
about the delicate balance
between being
and un-being.

It is a line far thinner than
any of us can admit.

I sweat
just enough
to wipe the drops
from my brow

and shutter
the words on this
page.

The laughs and squeals
of a happy child
can be the best music

This day must pass

and for that

I feel an unending

sadness and joy. 

Visitation

I told my Aunt G____ that I wanted to visit
my grandparents.
I told her that I wanted
to go by myself.
She insisted she should go with me.
I hesitated but agreed.

I tied my sneakers and wore a pair
of comfortable shorts. It was
a warm day after all.

I met her at the door.
She had an umbrella with her
to protect her from the blazing
midday sun.

We began to walk down
the gravel road that cut through
our town. It was calm
except for the occasional sound
of a passing car.

We walked into a small market
to buy a couple of votive candles
and a book of matches
and were on our way.

As we reached the outskirts
of the town we passed
a shrine for the Virgin Mary
and walked on.

Finally, we came to a gravel path.
Beyond that point lay nothing
but jungle stretching for miles
until the next closest town.

We walked down the gravel path
until at last we reached the gates.
We sat at the benches for a moment
before pressing on.

As we walked through the gates
I could only marvel at the pure stillness.
We turned to the left until at last
we faced their graves.

My grandfather, Alfonzo,
had died first. I was in high school
when he passed. My grandmother,
Donata, passed only a few years ago.

I set the candles down
and lit their wicks.
My aunt was watching in silence.

When I was done
I stood there for a few moments
and thought about all I knew,
and mostly,
all I didn't know about them.

I knew that without them
I could not be there at that moment.

I knew there had been many sacrifices
by them to provide a better life
for my Father.

Even he had to leave them
to find his own place in this world.

I turned to my Aunt
and we walked back up the gravel path
to the main road

back to my grandparent's home
to have lunch with my Mother
and her parents.

Account

If it's not loud it doesn't matter
If I can hear 
                    then I'm alive
Sweating skin
Clothes damp
Swagger in the hips
Drink to your lips
Alive and living
Dreaming  
                Spinning
Late tonight
just darkness 
         and ringing

Catch The Day In Your Teeth

Horizon lines unbound
   from my sight
Cut the sky apart
Tear down Heaven
Rebuild it in Hell
Horizon reborn
Dies every night
Live again
These bloody rivers
Flowing into the ocean
and out again
Flowing in and out
again
again
again
Catch the dawn
in your mouth

In Brief

Open the artery
Bleeding fountain
Pumping machine
Running dry
Running dry
Born to live
Bound to die

Living is dangerous

Dying is safe

Age of New Darkness

Dedication

I decided to write you a poem
but then I saw that it wasn't good enough
to send. I started to write another one
and drew the same conclusion.
I began to write this one and decided
no matter the outcome it would be
good enough to tell you
I love you and how I can't
tell you that enough.
This time together will outlast us both.
I love you
I love you
I love you
Do not forget how much
I have loved you and
Love you still.

What matters?

Years pass through me

That's to be expected

This time is precious

And to be spent

As best we can manage

The process of learning

the value of what matters

is one that has only one end

momentum

the days are too numerous behind us
as we are borne forward by
the momentum of self-preservation

make sure your grow accustomed to
death, marriage, births, and divorces,
they are coming towards you
as surely as the ceaseless wind

do you remember when you told me
you didn't believe in the wind?
a wry smiled crossed your face
as your hair was tousled by the wind

Routine

The whole world is asleep

yet

I remain awake

in this 

routine darkness.

Find me here

and I will

give my

hand

to you.

Lost & Found

Mundane
Ordinary
Everyday 
Existence
Defined
Solely
Through
Routine
Bored
Familiarity

Push 
Beyond
Known 
Paths

Wander
Through
Unknown
Forests

Find
That
Which
Has
Been
Looking
For
You

Broken hearted but 
your tongue is still working

There will be a time 
of Hope and no pain
and in those hollows 
we will live again

Time Enough

Is there time enough

     for us to change

There is 

There is

as long as hope

is carried

there is enough time

     for us to change

An Endless Cycle of Despair and Gluttony

I will not fight

for that

which I do not

believe

All Human

It is late and I am
awake
           thinking of all 

the greats
and their problems

I pour a drink
It's my second one

It's after midnight
I am no great

I am troubled
as all humans are

both great
and unalike

Warnings

What makes the birds sing
at midnight

I hear their chirps through
the tiredness of this world

and can only surmise
they must be warning us

of what
it is hard to say

We are a selfish
and insecure people

There's a part of me thats died
that wishes to live again

Parading A Corpse

Do you want to love me or
Do you want to fight?

Looking Into the Pasture

I press down gently on my brakes and pull off
the road into the gravel near the gate
A gray haze hovers over green pastures

There are cows grazing
A calf calls for it's mother

I face the gates as I'm
greeted by statues of saints
guarding the entrance
They don't seem to mind me

1864

1899

1903

1921

1980

Starting points
End points

From here to then
From then to an end

What little of anything there is
in this world

Everything shrinking
disappearing

diminishing

There is only enough time
to do what needs doing

and even then
it won't feel like enough

Make use now
of thi

nights of consequence
passing days of no import
eternal present

El Segundo Blue

The sign says Pedestrians Prohibited

I walk past it

into the abandoned streets

of the forgotten town

I look back

and see you standing

on the boulevard

watching me from a distance

No wonder I didn't hear

your steps

I keep on walking

until I look and see you

walking away

Only then do I turn

to walk back

Beauty reduced to base desire
Is no basis for lasting love.

If this present will not satisfy
there can be no case made for 
my presence. 

Did we ever belong to one another?

What a silly question. 

There is no reason to dream 
when I saw you standing before me

Hours spent alone 
in the silence of myself

I hear a strangers voice

only to hear an echo
of the words from my throat

Cut out my soul

to make room

in me

Oh, Sea of Longing

You must be crossed

For hope to become action

The eternal lives of ghosts

Carve out the boredom from my heart

Turn this inert life

                              into action

wood turning to stone

silent petrification

eternal season

Erasure Piece #1 2/28/16

Beautiful is beautiful / Cut loose your cares / Come home / Never leave

In Solidarity

WE
the great Unwashed MASSES
will Stand

and DEMAND

not ask

DEMAND

CHANGE

but first

we must take action

to enable the waves

of the ocean

to flow back

into the rivers

and tributaries

from which they are fed

Painted Moon

Is there any time left to leave things undone
Mother says there is
It happens to everyone

Did you see the moon last night
Hanging like a painting
In the ink black sky

Basking in moonlight
Call me a seal
But I feel alive again

Caught in the wheels of living
I try not to despair
We're not as alone as we believe

Sing me your song of love
I need all the faith I can get
To push through these desert days

Unwinding the Thread from the Spool

The price of gas goes up and down
while alcohol is affordable enough
to keep you just behind the line of insanity.

Truth does not need a pretty image
or metaphor to convey it's message.

Truth is blunt like a sledgehammer
breaking bricks into bits.

The road drives me numb and mad
in alternating measure.

A young man pulled out his hand
like a gun and pointed at me

and I was furious. Not at the threat
of violence and death

but at the demands of our ill times
on us all

and the prospect of my future
becoming a severed branch.

I'm drinking alone because
I need this meditation

even if the methodology is flawed.
I would be with you tonight

if only we were not so far apart
you and I.

I don't wish to die
but I need to prove to myself

the will to live and smash
apart the lingering grasp

of my self-doubt.

transpose

Everything that has been lost

will be found again

in another time

in another place

in another form

The words don't need 

your help.


They can speak

for themselves.

"Help me.

Everything is falling apart."

Moral Truth

Object to morality that spits in 

The face of our shared fraternity


Fragile creatures of a dying planet

What is it you believe


From clay and ribs

To dust we turn 


My dying eyes 

can see clearly


Open your mouth

Let the voice from your belly


Erupt from your throat

And scald your tongue


With incontrovertible

         Truth

A Call to Action

I am Here 

and it is

               Now.


This is the only fact

that matters.


You are Here

and it is

              Now.

Act.

We can't predict the strength 
of the waves but we can always 
be assured they are coming. 

Tie Your Dreams To The Passing Wind 

Memory is a Reincarnation of the Past

Words of the Inevitable

If there is soul I will find it
This is an exercise in nothing
This nothing is merely a representation
of a temporary something
What is can not be said to be non-existent
What is non-existent cannot be said to have been
In this time we have there is time enough
to be lazy and dream and there is time enough
to work to till the soil to watch the flowers bloom
Life is never wasted
Death is certainly no end
Transitions are always the hardest
and always inevitable
Right now is the only now worth anything
Yesternow has ceased to be of any value
except through the clarity of hindsight
No matter what matters matter cannot cease
the state of its existence
Kiss and bring me to life
Take off my clothes
Place me beneathe the sheets to sleep
To dream To while away time
While here and now I sit
impatient and waiting
Waiting and patiently thinking
of everything Thinking of
letting the river of the cosmos
flow through the fleeting strokes
beneathe my finger tips
Morning has come
and evening is hours away
but it is inevitable
and so
these words are
as well only when
     laid upon the page