Dead Hand

Why do you wait for the days to pass

Why not seek out what you long for

These days are too brief

This time all too fleeting

Do not live only in memory

You can only learn so much

from the dead hand of the past

Let the present be your 

perpetual teacher

This Moment Is Now

The present is the present Do not forget this
This now is the moment you have always
waited for What happens now is up to you
Create the life you want but be patient and
put in the work to make it so Do not let your
self be blinded by habit and by your own
bad habits To change them is to find the new
way forward Forward is always right in front
of us We must be bold Boldness can often be
the smallest of actions and changes that can
frighten us into inaction If all else fails take a
moment to breathe In Out In Out Close your
eyes Steady your heart and mind Let yourself
become the now These moments are eternal
This present is always now See through the
trappings we have accepted blindly and move
past them Shed the unnecessary Let light into
the dark places of the soul This is not easy
This is uncomfortable Feel the warmth of the
sun Feel the wind on your skin and through
your hair Let life touch your body Let it send
a shiver up your back and onto the back of
your head Open your eyes and breathe in the
air It is here It is now The future is always
coming The past is unchanging This day
is what matters What matters is this day and
what we do with it and ourselves

only present

river waters rushing past
origin and destination lie out of view
only now 

And

And once there was nothing
And then there was
And then there was everything
And then there were beasts
And then there was man
And then man was spread
throughout the world
And then man forgot
And then man kept trying
to remember
And then man remembered
And then some men
wondered if it was too late

Present and Afterwards

What will be remembered 
once all memory has been exhausted
Will it be anything worth holding on to

Grow up and be a better man
Leave the bitterness in the past
Free yourself

Present

Waiting
Breathing
Listening
Thinking
Relearning
patience
Breathing
Quieting
oneself
Present
Present
Now

Late Night Thoughts, Page 2 5/5//17

Memory filters back at it's own pace. How it surfaces
faces and times from the past. What lesson must be
taken and learned? Those answers are at hand  if one
is willing to delve just beyond the surface of image and
memory. Joy and failure, the twin poles of life.

What is the truth of life I have been seeking? It had no
single answer. Many answers for the same question,
each fitting for a time and place. There is truth and
wisdom in this world if we are willing to seek and
accept it. This burning desire to understand the unknown
of the world and of ourselves. A thirsty spirit is always
seeking. Let us drink of this world.

Words are given more freely than wind. Action is a diamond
to be desired. The value of thought and contemplation.

Am I searching for God? Am I searching for enlightenment?
Am I searching for a better way to be human? Must the
answer be yes? Of course, it must. I am searching within
and in this world. I have to seek. I must seek. Suddenly
I remember staying at my grandparents home, watching
the sun set over the town of my fathers. Colors swirling
and melting until black streaks across the canvas.

behind / in front

quantify the years until numbers
become meaningless
all of time sits behind 
and in front of us
this moment glowing in amber

Cottage

Is it too late or too soon
to live out our fantasy

Beachside cottage alone
and together

Send out tendrils of hope
purely from habit

Close your eyes as my
hand strokes your hair

Everything confirmed
to dead memory

Sparks emerge from
time to time

Brief signs that some
life still within

When I hear the voice
of the Ocean

I wonder if you can
hear it too

Once Upon A Time

Life is growing stronger
day by day
in her womb.
Her daughter is learning
the sound of music
through the steady beat
of her mother's heart.

Once upon a time
is such a beautiful way
to start stories for children.
To tell tales of courage
and strength, of fear
and overcoming obstacles.
Once upon a time
is another way to think
of memories
and moments past,
of chance and presents
relegated to ifs.

To love truly
we must sacrifice
and let go of things
once desired.
We must let our
hearts and wisdom
strive for more than
mere fulfillment of
our own desires.

Little girl,
growing by the day,
stronger and stronger,
I hope to meet you
someday. Maybe
before then
your mother will
have told you
about an old friend.

Uncertain Light

I'm writing this for you
because I hope you will
read this some day
and remember when things
were simpler though
you wouldn't have thought
so at the time

Hardship grows and mounts
as we age and awareness
of this world comes to view

Perhaps you'll remember
writing this and addressing
it to yourself while at home
sick on a Saturday night
while deep in the heart
of the city protestors are
roaming the streets

How little there is
that is fixed

These days

These nights

Bathed in uncertain light

Honesty and Self-Reliance

Where is the honesty you seek?
Are you seeking it within yourself?
If you are seeking it from within
You must allow yourself to believe
The full reality of your being.
We attempt to walk in the light of life
Though this is not always possible.
We give in to vice and overindulgence
Let our minds be fogged by
Thoughts of passing fancy
Honesty of mind and heart
Is more difficult than merely
Writing words down.
Honesty is not action.
Honesty must be taken
And transmuted into acts.
This process is painful
And prolonged.
It is necessary.
No guiding hand
Will be the final answer
Towards that which is sought.
Ultimately the hand that will be held
Are the ones you possess clasping one another

Gray Mornings

I can't write
much less think
of what way
I can articulate
what I need to say

The frustration
the anger
the disgust
with our times
is one that mounts
with each passing day

I want to go to sleep
I want to turn a blind eye
yet I can't
so I am agitated
and unable to sleep

In this morning light
all I can see are
the gray shadows
of morning

Monument to Now

This life
What other life is there
This time
What other time is there

Moving in silence as though
sound were a thing to be ashamed of

Summers of endless heat
Winters of endless cold
Springs of waking
Falls of fading life

There can only ever be
this moment

Hear these words
out loud
or spoken in your mind

This moment
is what matters most

Eternally now

Now

Here

You

Me

Us

Now

Only

Now

Scattered Thoughts All Gathered Together (evening - 6/4/16)

Interpretations of Reality

Create the world you wish through selective perception

Change and Realignment

Consciousness moving through an eternal present of possibility

Beauty as a sign of temporary attraction

What is everlasting?

The Business of Life & Loss

How to Move On Without Ever Letting Go

How quickly we move from disappointment to acceptance.

These late nights move through us
as we move through them

Memories of distant possibilities are nothing more
than snow melting in the noon time sun.

Better to let some memories gather dust.

we were done and
that was it
and that was that

My back is nothing more than
bone and flesh
and can be broken
far more easily
than I care to admit

What is fit to be buried and what
is fit to be kept?

Desire and Reason rarely have anything in common.

I need some silence to balance out all the noise in my life.

No reason to be awake
yet you cannot fall asleep
so you stay up until
the night takes you

One must look past mere physical beauty to find substance

Enraptured by her beauty
I became a slave to an ideal
that no one else could
ever hope to match

Can we ever find the beach that has no end?

When all you want to do is talk
and the night is late
and the glass is empty
but everyone else is gone
or asleep
so you sit alone
and hope the words
will find you

I would have loved you if
you ever gave me the chance

Only the dead are free.

Like the silence that stretches across the desert at midnight.

The restlessness of the soul.

Let the page feed your spirit.

We let each other go as gently
as a breathe being exhaled.

Broken Teeth and Bloody Tongues

The Overlap of Dreams

Sueno pero recuerdo
lo que tuve recordar

Shadows that exist only at night.

There was never anything to hold onto
but we clung to another
as though nothing could tear us apart

My broken bones
cannot be reset
I grow together
fractured and imperfect

The illusion of choice
The choice of illusion

These lonely nights of worry
Where are you right now
Don't worry
I'm just here trying to breathe

And here

And now
And when
And if
And maybe
And possibility
And probability
And unlikeliness
And love
And fleetingness
And impermanence
And permanence
And illusion
And perspective
And wisdom
And laughter
And tears
And warmth
And coldness
And time
And passing
And knowing
And knowing
And realizing
And seeing
And it
And being
And ok
And it's
        ok

nights of consequence
passing days of no import
eternal present

A Call to Action

I am Here 

and it is

               Now.


This is the only fact

that matters.


You are Here

and it is

              Now.

Act.

For Now

I woke up and realized
everything is not as it should be.

I asked myself "When have things
been as they should?"

Perhaps the warm pancakes
at the diner a city over,

but that doesn't really count.

Everything could be
as it is meant to be, though,

our hearts may feel otherwise.

Stringing the Present

This desire must be fulfilled even if
only for a moment.

Pain and panic -
Thoughts of survival and triage.

What voice does your mind speak with?

My thoughts break up into digestible words
that fall short of actual intent.

The arm of the tree withers.
How much longer can it hold on?

Am I disappointed in my childhood
for not giving a more realistic expectation of life?

Coddled and safe -
I am weary of the change I need.