Origins and Obituaries.

Bill Evans

He could have saved himself

were it not for

the self imposed addiction

common to so many

of his peers.

Fingers floated over ivory

with a beauty

reflecting

the soul inside.

Miles would call you

just to hear you play.

Years went by

as the body decayed

slowly,

that beautiful soul

possessing your hands,

making god himself weep.

Blue In Green

plays quietly

as the sun sets

and you live

once more.

Origins (Draft 1)

The entire family was poor

and living in rural Yucatan.

Grandfather was a very strict

and hardworking man.

His 8 children

had to be bilingual

(Mayan and Spanish).

Grandmother

woke every morning

preparing the little food

they had.

There was no running water,

no electricity,

no bathroom to speak of.

Grandfather never wished

any of his children

to be musicians.

They are all drunks

and drug addicts

he said.

An Uncle and young cousin

were practicing for a show

as my young father

observed them.

Uncle asked,

would you like to play with us?

My young father happily said yes.

He picked up the simple

rhythm on percussion.

Arriving home

he told Grandfather.

You absolutely

may not go with them!

My young father stayed home.

Decades passed.

In the years my view of the world

began to grow

the simple need to be with my own

young friends led me to take up

Civil War Fife & Drum

music.

We were merely boys

recreating the music

which was the soundtrack

to the day to day lives

and deaths

those young men

led.

There was never a thought,

never a consideration

for the weight of history

this music carried.

This gave way

to the

Thunder By Knight

marching regiment

at my high school.

The music was a marked

change.

It was louder

and more grandiose then

anything I had ever been part of.

3 years were spent living with

constant practice,

competition

and improvement.

It ended so abruptly

and I have mourned it ever since,

not for me and my friends

but the teenagers like us

who would never get that chance.

Senior year

I almost stopped playing.

By a chance class scheduling

I would meet those

who would comprise

my first band.

I was so proud of that first drum set.

I had never played one before.

Ever since then I have continued.

Thank You Father

for letting me become

who I have always been.

Thank You Father

for saying

Yes.

Asleep Before I Laid Down To Rest

A Quiet Caution

Pick your words carefully.

Once they 

escape 

your lonely lips

they cannot be contained.

That Spacey Far Off Look

I do not dream the way you do.

At night

with my head 

resting on

the pillow

I cannot recall

the passing visions

laid bare before me.

So I dream when I'm

awake to make

up for my lack

of memory.

memoria

I can still feel

the touch 

of your hand

against my skin.

fra g men ts

Years will end in tears.

the weight of the heart can be too much for the body to carry.

you fell so much farther

than anyone else could have imagined.

Distance and Emptiness

Inevitable?

you can keep digging

deeper and deeper

but what happens

when there is 

nothing left

to dig

out?

A Memory Of You

remembering

a moment we once

shared.

perfect,

beautiful.

past tense.

the sound,

the darkness.

your hand

holding mine.

No Sense

You are a goddess.

Embrace the night

like a lover

returning to you.

The truth you hide will one day be revealed.

Keep pushing past the mundane to reach the eternal.

Truth is Beauty.

Sol

Constant

The sun rose this morning

as it has for countless centuries.

Our civilization may collapse,

we may eventually destroy ourselves

but through it all

the sun will be there

ready to rise and set.

The Most Moving Poetry I Have Come Across

My heart aches for you.

A Day Of Death

"Belief is just some faith."- Billy Corgan

I just want one thing

that only you can give.

Lost among the endless grains of sand.

The body becomes electric.

Like a forgotten memory.

Iran

Will 

your struggle 

bear fruit

or will 

the fist of tyrants

continue 

its reign?

The Cold War Was a Failure

If there were no passion there would be nothing of worth in our world.

We are scared of looking inward not because of what is there but what we may find.

THE COLD WAR WAS A FAILURE

Hello America,

The Cold War was a failure.

We sought to secure peace

with an arms race

the likes of which humanity has never seen

before or since.

We teetered on the brink

for many years

beneath the specter

of a Soviet colossus 

ready to hammer us down.

We goaded them

into bankruptcy.

Victory was declared.

Our eyes could now view

the landscape before us,

more terrifying than ever before.

Our infrastructure has crumbled,

schools have become holding cells

for future consumers,

docility has become the norm,

critical thought has given way

to so called 'reality programming',

we stare at screens all day and night

a cheap facsimile of life.

Our glowering enemy

has become 

a sea of small hands

all reaching out

to grab us.

Victory  was achieved

at too great a cost.

Burn Out

You were more beautiful when you were ugly.

spread it thin

spread it over

and over.

Burnout

Say Yes.

Say Yes.

Say Yes

until you can't

take anymore.

Say Yes

until 

you must 

Say No.

Flaying Flesh

The Space Between Heaven And Hell

Will this be the same?

Are old patterns emerging

from our recent distance

or has that bond been 

damaged enough 

to never go back?

You love me,

You miss me

but will you ever

be willing

to be more?

Shed Upon The Ground

Blood

It flows like wine

through the cracks 

in the street,

soaking the ground,

absorbed by the grass,

the leaves on the trees.

It spills over

when men

can no longer bear

the weight 

of 

tyranny.

__________________________

A lifestyle obsession.

I'm not looking for a girl

I'm looking for a woman.

For Neda

Neda

Crimson stains the asphalt

like a pollock painting.

You lay on your back

as hands cover

the fatal shot.

Streams of red

flow out your mouth,

eyes see 

the blue sky 

one last time.

Neda

Neda

Neda.

_______________

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/meast/06/21/iran.woman.twitter/index.html

Words From A Dead Night

morning is always the sign of a good night.

form fades.

wicked words from fire water.

let yourself become undone.

do you miss who you were?

I don't understand myself sometimes.

I'm ready if you are willing to believe.

The Vanity Of The Vain

Cycle

Leaves fall

from trembling

wooden limbs.

Cold encroaches

on summer memories.

A dimming sun

warns of the coming season.

Skin grows cold

as breath becomes

visible once more.

The Vanity Of The Vain

If You Know Where To Look Then You Will Know Where To Go.

All The Mad Men

All The Mad Men

A mind covered

by a shroud of smoke,

perceiving life

not as it is

But

as it should.

Perception grows clear.

Sound vibrating

through 

Corporeal Form.

Beauty revealed everywhere it hides.

Form?

Exp.1

this thread

runnnnnnning

through

each life

is imperceptible  to the eye.

endless

in form 

and 

impossible to touch

,

it binds us 

all.

when it releases us

the unknown

will be known.

then?

our voices

silenced.

Chaf

Our lives are always an endless autumn.

Perfection has its flaws.

You are a beauty

whose only charm

is the physique 

which makes men dream.

I would rather not forget,

merely too occupied

to have to ever think about

such things again.

Vintage

Age

it is creeping slowly,

an imperceptible pace

will overtake us

when the hand is laid

on our shoulder. 

Remember Nothing

Cowards

I only see you in memory

or old photographs

hidden away

in books 

or drawers.

We both took

the cowards way out

of friendship.

All that remains 

is

this.

unfinished

we spiral in,

out

of these moments.

shifting between

locations,

destinations

or other  temporal places.

Eraser

Delete

1(310)***-****

1(310)***-***

1(310)***-**

1(310)***-*

1(310)***-

1(310)***

1(310)**

1(310)*

1(310)

1(310

1(31

1(3

1(

1

-

The Aftermath Of You

"Someday I won't feel no pain, Someday I won't have a brain." - Black Flag

Life Loves Dead Ends.

Dead behind the alley

waiting

for you.

I belch fire like a smokestack.

I burn alcohol like a muscle car.

The Aftermath Of You

rip the flesh from the bone

until nothing remains

but bone

waiting to bleach 

beneath the summer sun.

Forward Four Word Forward

This edited version is courtesy of A.P.

the original version appears below the line.

Forget Me

I am always the fool, no more 
a good man, a wise man,
than you are.

I have mourned 
love never mine
burned down friendships
that were.

My heart, foolish-suspicious.
My mind, critical-over analytical.

I don't regret the things
said that night in 
that darkly lit bar.

Meant every word.
Regret the next and last time 
I saw you.

Life is one mistake 
after another until something 
is right. That seems to be symptomatic

of these relations.

_________________________

Forget Me

I am always the fool,

never knowing when enough is enough.

I would rather drive away

those attempting to be close to me

than risk the disappointment

that seems to be symptomatic

of these relations.

I am no more 

a good man,

a wise man,

than you are.

I have mourned love

that was never mine

and burned down friendships

that were.

My heart is foolish 

and suspicious.

My mind is critical

and over analytical.

I don't regret the things

I said that night in 

that darkly lit bar.

I meant every word.

I regret the next time,

the last time 

I saw you.

You are better off without me.

Life is one mistake after another

until something is right.

Memory

Amber

every day becomes amber 

in our minds.

beautiful and eternal.

todays sap

drips down 

the trunk.

memories are trapped,

then eternal.

Tale Of Brave Ulysses

tear the heavens asunder.

we will leave this place far more beautiful

than it ever was.

looking  at the stack of books written by my heroes

I know far too much work remains to be done.

Without Measure

In Love. In Time.

How can we measure

time    or    love ?

Time scars the body,

love can break the heart.

How many broken hearts

are the measure of one life?

How many years lived

are the measure of a good life?

Words Written On Scratch Pieces Of Paper

A Note On This Post: titled pieces are denoted by the title appearing in Bold Italic. There is also one untitled piece. The end is comprised of one line thoughts and are meant to have no continuity to each other. Everything from this post has come from things scribbled on scratch pieces of paper at various places over the last few months.-R

Struggle

restraint

is the 

virtue

that is the

hardest

to master.

Among Wilting Roses

Petals picked 

are beautiful to behold,

relics of dead beauty.

thorns dig deep

into soft flesh.

years pass in moments.

remember them

as stills

from a foreign movie.

Swallow

there is a hole inside of me 

bigger than myself

getting ready to swallow me whole.

can you tell me,

the darkness won't be getting me?

stay away (from me)

stay awake(with me).

A New Language

there are no words

that capture

the entirety of 

what we are

together.

4our

Peace through Prosperity.

Prosperity through Charity.

Charity through Selflessness.

Selflessness through Humbleness.

Final Vision

I woke up

and it was the end of the world..

You get used to the strangest things.

No time left for dreaming,

action is all we have left 

here at the end.

Masochist

Hurt me like I was Him.

Hurt me like Them.

Hurt me like you've wanted to.

Hurt me for wanting you.

___________________________

plans are never quite what they seem.

dreams are never quite what they mean.

i'm lost here with you.

can't find land or sea,

lost here with you

if you're lost here with me.

don't let me slip away in this dream,

reach through the mire of days.

reach out to me.

_____________________________

We are never as young as we used to be.

Wandering the depths of of Iron Bottom Sound.

Past Lives Always Become Present Tense (tension?)

Art should have the emotional impact of a bomb exploding AKA Art Salvo.

Creativity breeds in unlikely places.

Your love rules me like a dictator.

Off is just as important as On.

A New Standard of Normal.

Simple Pleasures of a Complicated Life.

Sun so bright, won't you forgive my trespasses tonight?

The pettiness of our egos hampers us from being as trusting as we are capable of.

The hours drip by like melting wax.

Needless tyrant.

This might as well be heaven.

The desperation of loneliness.

We could be so much closer to ecstasy  if we could lose the lingering fear.

Never wait for love.

Looking for a brighter shade of sanity.

Finding an old balance in new surroundings.

Finding peace within disorder.

Control is always limited at best.

Bastard children of illegitimate men.

Trust no one who has never struggled with madness.

Can you feel the emptiness that grows inside from the connectivity our technology brings?

You were it but you're not the answer anymore.

Make it beautiful, make it beautiful to me.

make sense

a night spent 

not so alone

has been a pleasant respite

from the usual

emptiness that has been.

too soon to tell

if anything is happening

unless it already has.

life does not always need to make sense.

embrace the embrace.

After A Morning Conversation

My Aching, Aching Heart

the struggle is never meant to end,

it is meant to be endured.

life carves experience 

into our face 

line by line.

years pass as

they accumulate.

black becomes

salt and pepper,

problems persist,

happiness comes,

goes as it pleases.

do you miss those

carefree days as a child,

sun shinning through the trees 

in the park,

the future 

being so 

far

far 

away?

(for RC Sr.)

Long Nights In Unfortunate Situations

Friendship

night collapses

like a house of cards

built by a drunk man

well past the midnight hour.

tears, smoke and beers

are the ambience

around us on such

wicked nights.

we cannot always run away

from pain.

on occasion we must dive

headfirst into the darkness,

hoping for light ahead.

lesser men might not make it.

we must hold our bond close

to pull through

once again.

deuce

before we begin

please know that 

this will come again.

all this time spent waiting

know 

that it has always been for you.

Eight Workday Thoughts

What the eyes don't reveal the timbre of ones voice does.

Pedestrian taste.

Shut Up and Buckle Down.

Dead Eyes Shinning Behind Fallen Faces.

You ambition will make or destroy you.

The weight of life bearing down on you is not measurable in an empirical sense,

rather it is felt on the mind and soul.

I am a sponge soaking up all your vibrations.

I want to be free of the weight of my soul.

Respite

Make It So

lay the day to rest

among the evening embers

as pastel paths to heaven

guide our feet forward.

peace is found 

in the likeliest of places

when a tired head

needs a pillow to rest upon.

i will dream so many things

as your hand touches mine

and sleep comes

once more.

rush job

finding the beauty in the sunrise

is one of the easier things

any of us can do.

perhaps this time

I am ready to give 

someone a chance.

living inside seashells

limits your view.

not everything need be genius.

sometimes work which is average

is needed in order to make the genius

far more apparent.

the ball is rolling

but where will it stop?

His Name Is Alive

Midmorning Salvation

will you be salvation or damnation? 

a different beast altogether?

your voice 

so warm and sweet

could tell me anything

and I would believe.

has the earth moved

or has my heart skipped a beat?

keep singing.

so warm and sweet,

are you ambrosia manifest?

this beat is life,

your voice,

the fulfillment of hope.