and not remembering why.
a dead end cul de sac
with other similar families.
the first day of school,
so fearful.
cutting the finger,
blood gushing from flesh.
returning to the land
of your family
and feeling yourself
a stranger.
being the new kid in school
in fourth grade,
never having thought about
the meaning of your last name.
moving to a new home
early in high school.
that same summer
grandfather died.
wondering what love is
around that time.
high school, what a joke
that is for everyone.
a painful awkwardness
that is a lifelong condition.
a poets heart beating
through shirt pocket,
pulsing beats pounded
out through a closed hand.
friends? always.
girls? rarely.
the outsider communion
music brings.
books read alone in silence,
words written in the same state.
the pursuit of education,
the dream you've believed.
the struggle of life.
the battle of self.
this history brought
into the present.
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