Notebook Dump #18

Hot nights leave me sleepless
and restless. Even the open window
is not enough to cool down
a tired and weary body.

Can we ever leave this lonely place?

Notebook Dump #16

Can it ever be said
that trees can whistle
when they have nothing
resembling lips?


Secret creep.

Notebook Dump #15

If someone asks

Do you remember your dreams

Do you think they are referring to
what your mind sees every night or
what you have wanted from life?

Are we so helpless?
Are we more than this?
Caught between lives,
This can't be all of it.

Salting the earth beneath our feet,
The future grows inside your belly.

Even The Turkey Could Say Nothing

She had the nerve to ruin dinner
by telling everyone she was dropping
out of school and moving to Vermont
to live in a small town.

She said she couldn't see the point
in education anymore. Everything
she ever learned she had forgotten,
or so she said.

Her Mother cried, her Father fumed
and the Turkey sat on the table
without a word. Her parents thought
her to be selfish but she disagreed.

How could they be so upset,
she wondered to herself. Don't they
want me to be happy? Don't they
want me to find my path?

It was then she learned how differently
we measure happiness. The turkey
could express no further disapproval
as it was carved away from existence.

Tidal Song

Let's fall asleep on the sand
Let the surf lull us to sleep

Keeping warm together
Sand gets everywhere
Nowhere else I'd rather be

Let's wake on the sand
Let the surf bring us to light

Keeping Time

My heart is an unsteady metronome

It can't help be off time 

     when you're around

Jumping 

     ahead of the beat

It rushes at your touch

Tell me

How is your metronome today?

All this boredom is mine.

Hollow Rabbit

Hollow like your chocolate rabbit
Don't let me melt in the sun
I'm afraid to lose my form
Let me melt in your hands

Eat me whole
Break me apart
Piece by piece

Thrown Into The Water

I'm a tired bore
Driving home from work
Every day
This traffic
My time
This grind
Wearing me away
Smooth like a pebble
In your hand
Throw me into the water
Watch the ripples
As I sink

Sunset 3/23/15

There is very little that any of us
can claim to truly own in our lives.
Almost everything we have
can be taken away from us
at almost any point.
How does this make me feel?
It makes me feel awed and helpless
but not without hope.
Does the sand feel powerless
at the strength of the ocean?
It does not consider it.
The sand moves and shifts
from beach to water.
I see myself as part of
a larger whole,
one that does not end
when we do. Our consciousness
is a flicker of a light
burning bright
in an existence that is
marginally aware of us.
I feel no attachment
to institutions of power.
These forces rage
against that which encroaches
upon them. Their power
is nothing more
than a toddler gripping
the finger of a parent.
Time will strip us of everything.
Friends.
Parents.
Spouses.
Heros.
Possessions.
Memory.
Our lives.
I feel it impossible to surrender
until the day
I must.
I will
relent to the forces
that created us
and will us
back to an eternal whole.

The Preacher

I'm too deep in dreams to ever see the sunrise.
I have seen the sunset many times
over many places
and I never fail to find beauty
in the transition from light to dark.
Blue skies smear with pastels
that gradually darken and fade
until a singular eye
glows across the ocean.
Standing at the beach late at night
I have often wondered about the confluence
of sky and water.
If I were there alone in a boat
would I remember what was ocean
and what was sky?
Would I forget both
and feel only one plane
encompassing both fully?
What would it be like to see a sunrise
from there? Transitioning from dark
to light, to see the sky
give birth to our world once more.
After viewing that
I could begin a new faith
and preach,
not of god and sin,
but of a simple truth
found in an ancient order
that persists everywhere.

Monsters Who Became Men

postcard in the mail
memories tied together
we still remember

Sleep whenever

Go to bed early to get up early.

Why do I need to get up early?

It's what you do when you are a responsible adult.

What does getting up early have anything to do
with responsibility?

It probably means you weren't being a drunken
irresponsible idiot the night before.

What if I wasn't drinking?
What if I just like sleeping in late?

You'll have more time to work, to see people,
to go out at night.

How am I going to go out at night if 
I have to be up early?

Just go to sleep.

Right.

Something and Nothing

I remember the time I sat at the end of the bar
waiting for you to come. I waited so long,
long enough to think you were not coming.

I had just finished my first drink when you
walked through the doors. You said you were
sorry for running so late. Don't worry about it,

I said. Well, I'm pretty sure that's what I said.
The voices of that busy night became a steady
chatter of indistinct drunkenness easily ignored.

We lost hours to drinks and talk. Our honesty
came easy but grew quicker with each empty
glass. What were doing that night?

Drinking. Talking. Drinking. Talking. Ignoring
everything until the next day. Was our talk
small? Was it too big? Or was it just right?

We had to leave so we left. What did we leave
in those empty glasses? Maybe a sliver of ice,
more likely, nothing at all.

Flowers & Fruit

The dog doesn't care for roses.
He prefers the apple tree and the fruit
from its branches.
Beauty from each will linger
in memory once the form of both
has disappeared.

Ask if I love you

Does the Sun long for the Moon

Tides brushing the shore

Childhood

I sat on the grass while my

small hands pulled at the green 

growing all around me.

I stretched for the dandelion

that was an inch out of reach

and I pulled it from the ground.

White cotton-like tuffs

were picked up by the light breeze,

I brought the oozing stem to my mouth

and let the drops of white fall

onto my tongue.

I recoiled and spat out 

everything I could

to try and forget 

that bitter taste.

Alone together

in our solitude

Encompass

Life conspires against us without ever really trying.
We can only look at Her and tell ourselves
that it's fine    it's ok    that we don't mind.
We fill distance with intermittent transmissions
to better solidify the bonds we profess to.
How many ways can we say
love? How many ways can we say
you? How many ways can we say
I? Those words are limited in what
they can convey. We are limited
by time and physical need but feed
on that which has no physical presence
but whose effects are felt
in the same way a still pond
with a thousand pebbles thrown
into it at once. What is the point
of describing the longing desire
that makes one ache and yearn?
There is a point. We can understand
each other in this way. The I and you
does not have to be us. It can be anyone.
But for now let us say a simple sentence
to one another. Three syllables can be
the whole of the world.

Real Lives

are neater and more organized.

Real lives are more predictable and financially stable.

Real lives offer healthcare.

Real lives are serious.

Real lives don't have time to waste.

Real lives aren't dead ends.

Real lives are offer

spiritual, emotional, and physical fulfillment.

Real lives are had by others.

Real lives are had by people who are homeowners.

Real lives have marriages and kids.

Real lives don't worry about the rent

or mortgage.

Real lives have tidy gardens.

Real lives have vacations.

Real life? What have I been doing

for so long?

I am listening.

How long must we live 
in these castles of our boredom?

Let go and let the tears flow