I won't cry when you go
because I'll have gone first
Empty space where it all was

Listen and Go

Rise with the sound of your beating heart
Move to the rhythm of the hope inside

If the day has come you know what to do
Take my advice my son and go where the wind calls you

Don't be afraid
Don't be scared
Go where the wind calls your name

Sunlight will illuminate the day
Moonlight will shine at the hour of the wolf

You weren't to be here forever
Go where the wind calls your name

We will always be here
Living on in heart and memory

The wind calls your name
Listen and go
The wind calls your name

Learning to see

I was sitting alone on the couch as I felt the drugs
begin to overtake my senses. The music on the stereo
began to overwhelm my ears. I closed my eyes and
listened. Beat by beat I began to drift off into the
world it was creating. My eyelids closed and I fell
inside myself. This world was alien but familiar
enough that I could recognize the contours of it at
the touch of my hands. I steadied my breathing to
center myself. Remember, I chose to come here.
I came here to see what I needed to see.

Color. I could touch color. The feel of purple was
so much smoother than touching black or dark blue.
Yellow and pink felt like the smoothest colors to
touch but blue and green felt the most comforting.

All the years of my youth and school came at me
suddenly into a blurred continuum. How quickly
I let the years pass me.

Love. Receiving it. Giving it. Learning that it
must be given freely. It can never be a forced
emotion. It must simply be.

Waves. What beach is this? When is this?
Looking from side to side I can find no end.
Just sand and waves stretching vast before me.
Walking does nothing to make the distance
lessen. The Sun seems fixed in it's brightness
overhead. I walk into the water and feel a sudden
cold that melts into a cool warmth. I make my toes
squeeze the sand. The wind picks up and begins
to muss my hair. I walk further in. The water now
comes up to my waist. I go farther. The water is
now at my neck. I let myself go under. I've never
swum in the ocean, I suddenly remember. I am
not scared. I am ok with this. I feel safe. I begin
to swim and plunge deeper into the water. Coral,
schools of fish, none pay me any attention. I'm no
longer breathing in air. How long has it been?
A minute? An hour? A year? I swim farther out.
a shipwreck comes into view. It feels ancient
but it cannot be more than a few decades old
by the looks of it. What does it matter?

A faint light seems to be coming from near the bow.
I swim closer and it only intensifies. It seems to be
coming from the bridge. Light fills the water. Warmth.
It feels warm. It feels as though it has been waiting
for me. Has it? There is a door into the bridge. I reach
for the doorknob. It is not stuck. It moves easily
beneath my fingers. I open the door and the light
explodes and overwhelms me. I close my eyes but it
doesn't matter. The light is there. Is my body dissolving
into the light? Warmth. Warmth. I relax. I begin to
submit. I inhale the ocean water but I can't taste the
salt. I look for my hands but I cannot see them.
I cannot see any part of my body. I have become
the light. I am no longer in the ship.

Millions of light years away I am fire incarnate.
Fixed in the heavens I send my light into the darkness.
I can feel a distant call.  A place that had once
been home. I am now home everywhere my light goes.
There are waves I can no longer see but I can still feel.

Can you hear me?
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.

only time

i will give you the only gift i have
i will give you the only life i have

this is time
this is the only time
this is only time
this time

hold on
i will let go
hold on
i will let go

this time
this is the only time

let go

The Wolf Waiting by the Door

Wild and Free

I am wild and I am free
You see me and pity me for what I lack
I see you and pity you for what weighs you down
When you sleep I am awake hunting
I look in your window and see you sleeping peacefully
I live in darkness and uncertainty
I have been molded to be strong and lean
I survive on little
I have no chance to grow fat and apathetic
There are no possessions I can be offered
to make me change my mind
Any possession would be wasted on me
I am wild and I am free
When I sleep I roam even farther
All this world is my home
I have no fear of man nor woman
I am what you had once been
I am wild and I am free

Listening

The search for peace begins within
I hear the names of God
I hear the names of the Gods
chanted out before me
Their names float and hang in air
Bodies enraptured to the vibrations
cause by this fervent devotion
Can you hear me
Can you hear us
Your children
calling out to you
This home you have given us
These bodies we live in
Time passing through it all
I close my eyes
I am listening
The voice reveals itself
Strong as wind
Gentle leaves whispering

Make A Choice (freewrite 3/27/18)

Burning bright the lights are on the sun is out and I am here
waiting for the tide to come in waiting for the water to touch
my feet the cold shock of ocean standing on the sandy shore
this is the place we once stood where we once kissed but who
were we then and who are we now my hands moved on your
body and slipped under your dress that time is so long ago now
that we were different people and when I think of us it feels
as though our former selves are trapped in amber is that the
fate of all things honey fossilized yet so beautiful to behold
I miss the things I have never had yet they are not mine to
miss I must let go of everything this attachment can only
bring grief the longer I hold on this is our constant condition
to hold on and to suffer from fear and this fear must become
something else and it often does I do not want this I want
to leave my imperfections behind I want to be the better man
I have always believed myself to be but I have let bad habits
rule my mind and body the reckoning that must happen is
with myself as judge and jury I know I know the answer
is my will strong enough am I able to change and follow
through I gain nothing by pursuing this path except to wear
it further into the ground I must I must take the leap of faith
with myself I have known this and now I say this to me and
only me the water is flowing from the tap but it still drips
drops even after it has been turned off the accumulation
and the falling into the white porcelain sink there is love
I wish to have for myself yet I do not dare allow it in or
will I change my mind my body has one answer and my
heart has another I vacillate between the two and wonder
what I will actually do to do one is to tear up so many plants
from the soil needlessly if I were to do this I would have to
plant a new garden and it would be beautiful though different
from what came before I think about these things I think
about everything and this is my life this is my thoughts
spiraling from my fingers and staring back at me my mind
laid out in front of my eyes and asking me to confront
myself to make sense of this all and to make a choice

What is living
is what is dying
is what will be
reborn

Subject and object
one and another

Created in another's body
I am my own creature
Living in this body

Toogether with Myself

I woke up wandering beside myself
Together I walked side by side
Watching the heavens
Watching the ground
Watching everything turn around
Tell me sunlight
Tell me moonlight
Where is the love I seek
Where is the life I want
to live
to lead
Where does this all go?
Dirt covers my feet
but I keep walking
I don't mind at all
So I find our voice and
start singing in harmony
One becomes two
Two has always been one

Night and Morning 3/23/18 - 3/24/18

I saw the dawn in your eyes
And rose within you
Sweet morning dew
Taste of lips touching

Don't trust a word from me
My heart is a mercenary
and you're my next kill

Your soft kiss
Our soft kiss
Our lips saying
Hello
A pleasant
introduction

The nightmare became reality
as I held on to your hand
Your flesh withered
and your bones turned to dust
Standing here inconsolable
Wind blowing dust into me
All flesh is fleeting
All dreams are wind
All hope floating on air
All rain/tears falling from the sky

I want my body inside of you

The flies and the angels
feeding on the same bodies

Everything is dream and memory

Pouring rain washing the filth into the sewers
out into the ocean out into the vast expanse
between continents and men

Everything changes
Everything becomes something else
Everyone changes
Everyone becomes someone else

falling down endless stairs
bruising flesh and bone
steps upon steps upon steps

King of Light
Queen of Night
or is it the other way?

Listening to someone else's grief
Not knowing what to do
Listen listen listen
in the darkness of the room
in the light of morning
Listen listen listen
Grief coming in waves
Soaking your spirit to the marrow

You reach for the darkness and it touches your hand

Omnipotent God
Unable to save his son from sacrifice
Our sins forgiven
Couldn't he have done so anyway
Blood for sin
Innocence given to wind

I was reborn when I died
I was reborn when you left
I was reborn when my blood dripped on the dirt

A pool of blood
Life poured out
Light gleaming upon it

The Wolf

The wolf waits by the river
Watches her reflection in the water
See's her face and wonders

Starlight

Staring into starlight dotting the darkness
Cool grass cushioning my back
A point of light streaks across and disappears
I close my eyes and make a wish
Starlight watching me
Starlight holding me
Starlight
Starlight
watching over me

morning 3/22/18

Spring has arrived with grey showers
Blossoms waiting for the sun

Morning 3/21/18

Kindness and Love
is all we need to make
this world a better place
for everyone here

The Bleeding Sunrise

If enough was enough
I would have already had my fill
but I'm a greedy bear
bathing in flesh and blood
until nothing is left but for me to leave

The night is bleeding out into the sky

A Beautiful Neighborhood

The child inside of us is still there
Listening
Watching
Laughing
Crying
Learning
Hoping
Dreaming
Kindness overflows
from your beating heart
The child will always be there
gazing out into
such an incredible world

Morning 3/20/18

Waking from reality into the dream
Footsteps from one path to another
A dreamer caught in the dream


Crossing the white bridge into life

Places in Memory

Memory jogs through my mind
Stops in Mexico last year
and tells me to remember
being at my grandparents home
The home my mother was raised
The home my many aunts and uncles
played and grew and fought and
became the people I've grown to know
Memory shows me the feeling of wind
against my skin
the town bell ringing and
marking the hour
Watching the birds in the trees
listening to their voices
for as long as I wish
I am there again as I tell you this
I can feel the land bracing for rain
It will fall heavy yet it will be welcome
The earth itself is in my body
Home calling to me once more

Morning 3/19/18

The Simple Things

I want to wake in the morning after sleeping in
Eat a nice large breakfast
Share my life and bed with a wonderful woman
I want prosperity for all of my loved ones

Slow change to the dawn
I have seen the light
I bathe in it
I walk towards it's warmth

The sound of the universe
Resonates through our bodies
Flesh given life through vibrations
Give thanks for this
To live and breathe and feel
To witness creation
Incarnate
Incarnation
Now
Here

Morning 3/18/18

GLAZZ I'S

GLASS EYES


I die and live again
in another's chest
Beating and beating still
Pumping blood
Feeding flesh
Living from marrow


Take the love you are being given.

The Wolf & the Rose

Drinking Martinis in Paris

Gentle pluck of strings

Your arms embracing 

hollow wooden body

Cool drink warming 

Mischievous smile

Eyes flashing our 

small secret

Fingers fretting

Voice rising above

ice cubes and sips

Darling darling

Forever here

Pensando en Espanol

Lo que piensas
Lo que suenas
Todo
Esta aca
No te olvides
Recuerda siempre

Sia a sia
Dia a dia
Esto es tu vida

Regresa a la tierra de donde viene tu sangre
La sangre no olvida las raizes

Salvame y a te salvo tambien

Cuanda vas a buscar lo que estas buscando?

Hola Amor

Dias y noches sin tu
Sin pecados
Somos innocentes
Vivimos una mentira
Vivimos sin muerte

No hay sufficiente  palabras para decir to que se debe decir

Despierto y sonando

Vivienda sin miedo

Lo que quiero y lo que sueno

Quieres la libertad pero solo tu te lo puedes dar

Paso a paso

Fallen Rain

to wake
to see
to hear

fallen rain
moist earth
light filtering
through clouds

outside the window
branches and trembling leaves

birds flit from tree to tree
taking flight
traversing a vast grey sky

Advice for a Better Life

Go to bed at a decent hour.
Get a full nights rest.
Wake up decently early.
Leave with plenty of time
for work every day.
Eat more fruits and vegetables.
Drink less or just cut it out.
Exercise more.
Tell your loved ones
that you love them.
Read more.
Write more.
Continue the inward path.
Go to the beach more.
Make more music.
Make more art.
Keep constantly learning.
Face your fears.
Remember that the only
thing truly ours is
our own actions.
Be grateful.
Be kind.
Be kind.
Be kind.
Be kind.
Be kind.

Eternal Life

How beautiful
to see eternity stretch before us

Infant to child
to adolescent
to adult
to elderly
to the earth once more

We return home
and back to life
over and over

Many lives
Many guises

Eternal life
All of us
Here
Forever

Who asks / Who listens

I am asking you to listen but
who is the I doing the asking?

The I is only me speaking
to myself.

What is the sound of honesty?
What is the sound of clarity?
What is the sound of truth?
If you heard all three would
you know which is which?

I have heard the sound of honesty
and truth. Their voices are not
the most pleasant but they are
easy to hear and understand.

Acceptance has no sound,
it merely is.

seams

Everything fell apart and yet
the world still exists
Shining sun suspended in the heavens
Waves touching the shore
Babies smiling at their mothers and laughing
This world can be cruel and needlessly painful
But it passes
It always does
Tempered by life
We persist
despite how many seams
have ruptured

Poem

One
Word
Right
After
The
Other
Until
They
Fade
Into
Memory

For Lovers

Lovers of the world in mourning
Tears giving sustenance to hidden gardens
Weep and weep until
           there are no more tears and
                         when the time comes
We shall weep until we can weep no more                          

Morning 3/9/18

I am awake and I am seeking
I am awake and I am seeking
I am awake and I am seeking
I am awake and I am seeking
I am awake and I am seeking
I am awake and I am seeking
I am awake and I am seeking

If I hear the words
If I speak the words
If I write the words
I am present
I am present
I am present
I am open
I am open
I am open

Sunlight
Sunlight
Burning away
the darkness

Morning 3/8/18

She's so pretty
...neurotic
but so am I

Dawn calling you home to life
Wake up, Dear, wake up
The light shines through you

An image torn to pieces
scattered on the floor
a fragmented whole
bring it together again
reveal the image once more

Everything beautiful
resides within you
Do not deny your essence
It flows through your being
In your breathing I hear
the steady ocean wind

Life recedes into Memory
Memory recedes into Time

Habits of

Habits of comfort,
compulsion and fear
weigh you to the ground
Yet you embrace them further
as you hope to move forward
How can you walk
with your feet
stuck to the ground
you wish to leave
Invisible switches
flipping in unseen spaces
Understanding
taking the place of
what hinders us

The Clock

The clock was so tired
More so than usual
It couldn't remember the last time
it had any time for itself
Sitting there on the night stand
next to the bed could be boring
Actually it was boring
It would be slightly more
interesting when the people
would sleep or have sex
but that left so much more
time to just be alone in silence
It was one in the afternoon
The rays of light from the window
fell upon it and kept it warm
Things could always be worse
it thought It could have been
the bathroom mat

Rosefall

White roses raining down

Reaching to the ground

Holding one by the thorned stem

White petals turn to blue 

Sweet fragrance

Envelope me

The Five Remembrances of Buddhism

I am subject to aging. There is no way to avoid aging.

I am subject to ill health. There is no way to avoid illness.

I am going to die. There is no way to avoid death.

Everyone and everything that I love will change,
and I will be separated from them.

My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

Knowledge

Act in accordance of what you know to be right.
Follow this to create the most good for others and yourself.

Life is a continuous process of change
that we must allow ourselves to be part of.
To obstinately hold on to that which
is no longer meant to be ours
is to suffer anguish at our inability to keep it.

No matter how strong and youthful you may be now
you will age and your body will begin to prepare
itself for it's return to the elements. Illness and
aging are inescapable. No human, no matter their
poverty or wealth, no matter their moral or immoral
actions, is immune to the will of nature and time.

To purposely cloud our body and mind
is to fog the truth of understanding and actions
that we must take in our lives.
To move forward with purpose and energy
we must remove self-inflicted obstacles
to our betterment.
To move forward we must takes steps
every day. It does not matter if it is only
one step or thousands, it matters that
steps are taken.

We all suffer. This knowledge should lead to
greater harmony and compassion amongst all of us
but it does not. Our pain, anguish, sorrow,
and disappointments have been felt by others before.
Our pain is universal. We must strive not to end
suffering, but to lessen it, to learn from it,
to use it to grow closer to one another
in a deeper understanding of each other
and of our true nature as humans.

Love alone will not solve all the ills of this world
but it is our strongest tool in our struggle. We must use
it unsparingly and spread it to every beating heart
of our world.

You are deeply loved.

"You promised me a piece of the sky
when all I wanted was you."

pulling daylight together

I woke up dreaming and found myself seeing you
Dreaming and dreaming still
This day of grey and rain pouring on us
Cold heaven
Missing the warmth of your arms
A foolish fool for loving but unable to resist
Tie my heart and reason together
Holding on to any part of you I can
Grasping memory in my hands

Rain Down

Heaven rains down as it falls apart
I run outside to catch pieces of it in my hands
Surrounded by it I can only marvel
at what I find and hold
I look and see everyone standing outside
with outstretched hands
waiting for a touch of grace

Sleeping Gods

Even the Gods must sleep
and when they do
of what do they dream
Dreamless thoughts
as they breathe through
the infinite and eternal