There is nothing normal here. We believe there is normal
but it's really just a matter of what we are used to. Then
again that's what people who are trying to justify horrible
behavior would say. It has been more than a year since
abnormal took hold of what we had been used to. In that
time we have lamented the loss of our lives and the old
way of doing things.
I have struggled with myself. I have let myself feed the
darker parts of my nature, only to turn back on them
to save myself. I am doing better. I am closer to whole.
The honesty of looking at myself with open eyes is often
difficult. Have I wasted time? Have I wasted the time of
others? Have I dedicated myself to meaningless pursuits?
Given a chance would I numb myself to the point of self
immolation? At times I feel like a failure, a fraud. This
light is not flattering.
At heart I cannot allow myself to remain in the darkness.
I feel the warmth of the sun on my skin and the wind in
my hair and feel that this is where and when I need to be.
I do not know how far this path goes or how many days
are ahead. I must push onward. I have too much faith.
No comments:
Post a Comment