as high as an aeroplane flies

just a cliche start
every journey may begin with
a cliche
small step
but
that small step will invariably turn
into a walk
or into a sprint
or perhaps
into a full on run
into a distance
that has no way to be
measured.
we go on
in spite
or to spite
any pain
we may feel.
it is beautiful
to go through life
with the wind at our backs
and the sun on our hair
and the world all around us
beckoning us
to move
to act
to give no quarter
and never stop
until
life is wrested from us
by the inevitable end.

"black bird singing in the dead of night"

Time, tIme, tiMe, timE, TIME.
how can we mark time?
will we mark time
by the conventional methods
that our age proclaims?
the time on our
watches,
clocks
and cell phones?
or should we measure time
by moments defined
in our lives
that brought a divide?
perhaps we should measure time
by the amount of songs
that have moved our hearts
or the beautiful sunsets
we have seen.
perhaps we are wrong about the thing.
maybe time is
the greatest illusion
we have ever believed.
in which case,
everything could be happening
all at once
right now.

Being There

being there
sometimes
being there
is enough.
the rest
of the time,
it is only the beginning.


fight for every breath
then live
the freedom
you have earned.

the world within.


being here
will you read my words
and take a meaning
that isn't there
from them?
will you hear my voice
and take offense
at one not
made?
will you make me
to be a saint?
will you cast
me out?
perhaps,
you won't
really understand
me
at all.


simple words for complicated times.
complicated times for simple people.
a difficult time for everyone else
all the time.


oh muse of the spirits,
we'll meet again
some other day
some other night.
until then
do not worry.
we'll keep each other
company
soon enough
some other time.


"Life Is A State Of Mind."

whatever makes you feel alive

whatever makes you feel alive
whatever makes you feel alive
or makes you believe
in those empty
needful things
is ok with me.
whatever gets you through the day
whatever calms your nerves
whatever eases the shakes
whatever dulls the pain
whatever fills the void
whatever helps you breathe
is ok by me
as long as it gets you through the day.


the right time
sometimes
i make a lot more sense
when i write.
other times
i make a lot less sense.
but
it is always
what i need
when i need it.



Don't stop the rain.
Let it all fall
to begin again.


on the path
follow the dream
or let it
pass you by.
there is no
other way.
5/6/7


the dead flowers of winter.

Did you do what you were suppose to
or did you do what you wanted to?
Or did you do what was right?


Self expression should be made without particular regard to current standards. Oftentimes the two are wholly unsuitable for each other.

we were mortal once and then learned the secret to the eternal

gold and iron
the past isn't always
as golden
as we like
to remember.
sometimes its
not so much
golden
as much as
like
a rusted over
piece of iron.


remember?
what were
we like
about ten
years ago?
the people
we used to be
then
might
barely recognize
themselves
now.

dead young men
there have been
far more of them
than need be
the last few years.
fighting for personal reasons,
fighting because of
patriotism and obligation
fighting for the chance
to come back home alive.
fighting for a time
when they won't have to fight.



we ran into each other but were strangers once again.

learning to become strangers from friends.

divide the night into unknown and madness.

just like its always been before, it will always be later.

how much blood can you squeeze out of a dead body?

how much blood can you squeeze out of a dead body?
all my flaws and imperfections
are killing me.
if its not one thing
its most certainly another.
speeding ticket,
hospital bill,
car repair,
gas,
cell phone,
all these things are money
that i don't have.
life is getting ready to crush me
and i'm trying to not let it
get me.
but its hard.
and its getting harder still.
i still have unpleasant things i need to do.
and i can't avoid them for too much longer.
this is killing me
and i don't think it's going to stop
until it gets me.



more
get another fucking job
is what my head keeps telling me.
don't be a fool
but i might already be without a degree.
you think you have it so hard?
you think you have it so fucking hard?
well you have no fucking clue
what hard is yet.
give it some time
and i'm sure you will.
get ready to suffer for you art
get ready to suffer for your convictions
if you have the guts
to stand up for them.
these years might kill you
but if they don't
death will tremble to take you
when the day has come.

the bankrupt business of love

if you choose to play
perhaps it could be easier
to play
in the games
of life
if i were more interested
in its rules
and order.
as it turns out
i'm not very interested.
so we remain
at an icy
impasse.


self voyeur
watching videos of recent memories
makes me think that perhaps
life is bound to keep getting more interesting
unless it has already peaked
that is.

professor
you learn some things in the only way
that can be learned,
through sheer stupidity.
after the first lesson
it gets much harder
if you didn't pay attention
this first time through.

don't do it
i wonder what dignity there is
in the way i am living my life
versus
everyone else i've known
who has settled in
and now
merely wait for death.

that's always the case
sometimes all anyone could want
is the quiet respite
of home and the familiar.
but as i've come to see,
sometimes that's
the very last thing
you need.

a pause in recent routine
i am giving my demon
a run for his money
these days
before we meet up again
at the end of the week
for our regularly scheduled
descent
into spirits.

stop
i could keep
going on and on
but then
that would be
just
wasted words
on
space that isn't
really there.
so,
this is where
tonight
ends.

beauty doesn't lie but the eyes sure do.

gold
did you sell your soul
for a little gold
to keep in your jewel box?
hidden away
in your secret place
gathering dust
away from the sun.
your beauty withers
and fades
as only gold remains
from those bygone years.
your life could be
so much more
if you'd given
your love away
to someone
golden
instead of
gold.



we could do this all night if either of us could just stop laughing.


I thought i saw you
out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look
but you weren't there.

moments
the big moments
in life
are the easy ones.
it's the day to day
normal,
mundane
ones
that are the
hardest to
get through.
4/15/07


everyday
I can't help but
dream
when I'm
awake.
4/15/07

final words?
Goodbye
is something
we wish we could say
but too often
we don't have the
chance
because life
doesn't believe
in cut and dry
endings.
4/22/07


snapshot
if you look
at the 405 freeway
at 5 in the afternoon
on a friday before
a long weekend,
that says
just about everything
you need to know
about our world
today.
4/22/07

Au Hasard Balthazar

thoughts that came to mind watching this beautiful film(au hasard balthazar):


the beast remembers.

You beautiful beast of burden.

Oh Marie, I promise to love only you.

You make us look antiquated.

Have you no compassion for this beast?

Marie, are you the only one who loves me?

Ou va tu?

You were the only love of mine and now you are gone to the earth.

Can I stand back and watch you suffer?

How much longer will I have to suffer?

Conscious confessions of subconscious sins.

A beautiful world wearied innocence.

I will carry you to the end.

So beautiful here, dying with you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


soundtrack
if this is not
the sound of life
at its most peaceful
and serene
then
i am not sure
what it could possibly be
11/19/07


sleep
come easily to me tonight.
a clear mind
is here writing,
whiling away this
fair night
11/19/07

Forgive and Forget to Forgive

A Choice
will you suffer like jesus?
will you suffer like jesus?
you can do it
but Do you really believe?
Do you really believe?
Are you
Man or Martyr?
Do you fear your doubt?
Embrace this pain
and be prepared
to live again.




Awash in this beautiful sound.


Forgive and Forget to Forgive.

If my dreams aren't worth pursuing, then what is?

essence above existence.
existence of essence.

living a solitary existence
rather than one choked with complication.

time to cut the cord that binds us.

i will pour my tears into the glass
then drown your memory with them.


this night is bringing itself around
very slowly
into something more than the other recent nights have been.
this is a calm in the midst of madness.
this is where the mind recovers and the heart takes refuge
from the ill effects of this troubled mind.


if everything were always great and good
life would quickly become a boring chore.
with struggle and work
we find what we are capable of.
sometimes though
we have no choice
but to adapt to a moments change
or to be left forever behind.


maybe life is always beautiful and its only our perception and actions that are ugly.


i am waiting for you.
but i don't know who you are.
maybe you should make yourself known to me.
maybe i'm wrong,
perhaps you are the one waiting for me.


might as well
might as well
or
might not.
but
might as well.

sometimes the madness comes looking for you

Dear Heart
the night grew long
after we parted
as i longed to see
your form again.
our divergent lives
still meet up
here and again.
how i wish
things could be
different
between us.
give me your heart,
give me your kiss,
give me your embrace
and let us start
again together.
Love,
(as you once called me)
Your Young Poet




there are no such things as real writers.


youth slips away
day by night by day.
it happens
all too fast
as we are
consumed
by our day to day
lives.
it happens all
too easily.
the familiar
becomes frozen
as new things
are foreign
and unfamiliar


The Girl Who Never Sees The Sun
by moonlight
i rise
to live the life
the sun denies.
this is the life
i've always known,
covered,
hidden
from the
day lit world.
inside
not outside
of the
life
so long,
long
denied.
11/12/07

whores can't give you love

random bits random bits


Execution
i will
watch you hang
by the very
rope
you once put around my neck.



As this love unfolds into black lace.

We have long since outlived our usefulness for each other.


fairly likely
life is not easy
to figure out.
many try
but only
wind up
going into
circles
and
dead ends.
perhaps the answer
is so obvious
that
we will never
know.
4/16/07

JCS
i don't know
what things are like
for you right now
but i can imagine.
be careful
and don't
let yourself
get
the better of
you.
So i'll write
you
and hope
you
can keep on
going
through the
days
and the
nights
4/16/07



edge
sometimes
i wonder
how close i
am
to the
edge,
then i wonder
if there
is an edge
at all.
4/16/07



sailing on the rivers of ether.


Empirical answers to unquantifiable Questions.




mother night
do you miss me when the day comes?
mother night
i only come out for you
mother night
you shelter us from the day
mother night
the sky so much more beautiful with you
mother night
never leave us.

as both prisoner and cage

been working on booking some shows for my band and it looks like it might start bearing some fruit which as we all know, fruit is a good thing. we're playing this saturday and i have a couple of dates for us in december as well as possibly something already lined up for next year. so yay. spent last night hanging out with vaudeville in long beach along with bill.

heres some old stuff

HELL?
Los Angeles has been burning for days
The smoke and ash have choked our lungs
And covered our sky.
You can smell the ruin of lives wafting over head
Spread by the winds.
The city continues on in its fashion.
The freeways remain clogged
The madness mingles with the mundane ness of it all.
Perhaps after all this time
Los Angeles is finally becoming the hell
That everyone else always thinks its been.
10/27/07



Phone calls from nowhere
Dark night or bright and sunny day
It doesn’t matter what or when
But you will hear my voice again
When im trying to piece
My past and present to make sense
Of all the things that don’t
And the people who have come and gone from it.
Time is the distance between us
And its growing wider and wider.
Pretty soon even this voice might disappear
10/6/07


Becoming the
There has never been such a thing as
The good old days.
It is just wistful thinking by those who cannot remember.
The present always longs for the past.
For a supposed youth and innocence that has always been lost.
But you cannot lose what was never there.
So we live on in the present in moments that others
Will look back and say
Remember the Good Old Days?
Then being a senile old man I will happily respond
Of course I do.
Of course I do.
10/6/07



being the prisoner and the cage


R

might as well use this

i signed up for this account and haven't done anything with it but perhaps now i will. seeing as i feel too prolific with some of the shit i put up on myspace i might use this space for all the writing that i won't put up there. this could include anything. poems, random thoughts, essays on music or any other random thing coursing through my mind.

so......



a path divided

turn away
(don't)
turn away
from me

turn away
(don't)
turn away
from me

my dear heart
is this where
we end or
begin again?

i can't bear to see,
this unknown
is killing
me

turn away
(don't)
turn away
from me

my dear
there are
only two ways
for this to be.