Emotional Abortion

Emotional Abortion
this is neither
the first nor
the last time
she has been here
for this.
each time
she comes
it is not a matter
of life or death,
it is a matter
of business.
sitting in that cold
impersonal waiting room
to be led into that
cold impersonal
chamber
where this
business transaction
will take place.
it is not cause i want to
she thinks,
it would just be bad for business.
getting knocked out
would cost too much
so she stays awake
through it all.
the sounds are all
familiar to her by now.
she tries to think
of other things
during her time in there,
happier things
from a happier place
she has never been.
mother would say
to wait for that special man.
but how will i know mom?
trust me honey
you'll know.
except for two,
all the other right men
have had just
the right bit of money.
the numbness in her body
is no comparison
to the numbness
of her heart.
when she is done
she leaves
and feels nothing
going through those doors
except wishing
she didn't have to come back again
so soon.
she always comes back
too soon.