For Mother

Para Mi Madre

Mom,

I am glad I told you tonight

how I felt like

a stranger at home

for so many years.

It wasn't your fault.

I just couldn't be bothered

with my incredibly important

busy life.

I never meant to be a stranger

to you and dad

to my sisters and my brother.

I turned inward

or to my friends

but I didn't let you in

until tonight.

Sitting there

at the kitchen table

having your cooking

and telling you this

to your face.

It was long overdue,

I couldn't help

but cry a little

and neither could you.

Also,

telling you about my heartache

at never being to help

with money,

wishing deep inside

that I could single handedly

give you the security

you all deserve

and have worked for.

I can't be that right now,

in time I want to,

I hope to be.

I know

you forgive me,

I know

you love me

but it was

hard to believe

I did this

to you

to us

to myself.

Reading those books

to Tyler

reminded me

how you would read to me

as a child

stories from the bible

and other books

in your broken english

and in your fluent spanish.

You gave me a gift

that has saved my life

countless times,

a gift I want to make sure

I impart on

Tyler.

One talk

can't change everything.

I have to be

man enough

to let all of you know me

as I have allowed

others to know me.

__________________

The Weight Of The Soul Is Heavier Than The Body.