Being Here

I don't mind being a ghost any longer
Even in my corporeal days I would watch others
silently as they passed me

Now I watch and pass between and through
those I watch
                      I can peer directly into their eyes
and see truths even they have forgotten

There are times it is hard not to miss the body
But you have never known the joy of weightless flight
ascending and descending through earth and sky

I have learned that we never learn
that perhaps we are trying to learn as best we can
while there is still a chance

Do not worry  I am not always watching you
but there are many of us wishing you success
in the world we left behind

Notebook Dump #14

How long can we draw from
this well of sorrow?


Can we ever truly forgive
or is forgiveness a word
as malleable as truth?

Notebook Dump #13

you never stole my eyes
I gave them to you
I've been so blind


Pro Vaca Tour

Ugly / Notebook Dump #12

Ugly people living Ugly lives
                         in   Ugly homes with
Ugly husbands and
Ugly wives and their
Ugly children

Ugly dogs bark at
Ugly neighbors while
Ugly cats
                sleep on the couch
Ugly anchors on the news toss it over to
Ugly talk show hosts late at night who interview
Ugly actors who use empty words and smile
Ugly smiles as the whole
Ugly world falls asleep with the tv on

Notebook Dump #11

My hands reach for a throat that isn't there.


Christian greed.

Turn Off The Lights and Go Home

After the performance

After the crowds have gone home

After you have returned to your room

        That is when you fill yourself again

        That is when possibilities are birthed

This life spent half dreaming

The other half spent in search

       of shadows hiding in the dark

Morning at the Beach

Waves foam on the sand

like the mouth of a rabid dog.

It is too early for anyone 

but the most dedicated

of surfers or locals to be 

at the beach so early in the day.

I eat my breakfast alone

and in peace from the patio

of the bar. They serve quite

the good meal.

Summer is not the best season

here. It is best in Winter

as the chill enters your marrow

and the wind turns your hair

into a piece of modernist art.

I have nowhere to be.

I am in no rush to move

any faster than necessary.

I see a surfer in a partially

unzipped wetsuit

hauling his board beneath

his right arm.

I remain seated as he passes 

me without a glance.

Notebook Dump #10

Worry tomorrow
Sleep in peace tonight


How can we cross a distance we cannot see?


Passion consumes completely.

Notebook Dump #9

Remove the fence from the field.


Black Lieutenant


What is worth saving?
What is worth giving away?

Notebook Dump #8

Our dessert sits poised on the plate
as perfectly as a member of the royal family.


Masturbate to memories that never existed.


The chill after a rain
settles over all


The silence of our new communication
moves effortlessly from fingertips
to glowing image beheld
in the palm of the hand of another


Within you I see a multitude.

Notebook Dump #7

I fall awake with great difficulty most mornings but I am glad to do so while I can. Mornings move swifter than I do and quickly rush me in to afternoon. Afternoons are never in a hurry and are quite content to laze about as long as the sun holds her place above. Afternoon and Evening meet at the far edge of the horizon where the ocean and sky blur into a singular being. They trade off duties as the Moon ascends to her rightful place as she permits us to gaze upon her pocked white face. Her blemishes only increase her beauty as she travels across the sky like a car full of teenagers down the boulevard on a Friday night. She guides us into unconscious tranquility and whispers to us in the faintest of voices so we wonder what were the words we heard and what could they possibly mean.

Notebook Dump #6

Don't let the time pass us by
It begins to rain
we are apart
held in the sphere
we have created
The rain softens and steadies
into a gentle pulse
I'd rather fall asleep
to this patter
than to any other sound
except for the breathing
of my lover by my side
Can we close
this space? Why
did we open it
in the first place?

Notebook Dump #5

I am not beautiful
and I do not wish to be so.
I wish to simply be
and live as simply
as I wish.

Notebook Dump #4

The page does not beg to be filled,
that is merely my projection
of it's supposed desire.

driving through darkness
how do we measure distance
guided by stars

I fall asleep
with books at my side
in the hopes
the words will find me
in my sleep

I love you as I wake

this cage is my home

"How is it the strength of those we love continues to surprise us?"
- a message to a friend

Notebook Dump #3

A new way to tell an old story.


The narrative changes with every retelling.


Unlikely revolution

If you cannot tolerate this world offer an alternative.

Caught between myth and understanding.

My ghosts are holy but they're no rollers.

The overwhelming clatter of my heart.

Will you love me when my hair turns silver?

Will you remember my name?

How deep will we swim in these dark waters?

Do not let this night end.

The Girl In The Sandwich Shop (Notebook Dump #2)

I've written this story before but I wish to tell it differently this time. It all started because it was lunchtime and I'd left my food at home. A few co-workers had told me of a good deli a block over from us. It was a small place with all the necessary goods to sate most hungers or thirsts. 

The older man working the front counter nodded at me and said hello as I walked past him. I stood in front of the refrigerated glass cases containing the various meats, cheeses, and sides. I studied the menu posted above the counter. A moment passed before a young woman with sandy brown hair pulled into a ponytail walked up. 

"What can I get you today?" she said. I asked her for the club sandwich with everything on it. She jotted it down and said "It should be about ten minutes." She smiled before she walked away. I studied the various sides they had, mostly pastas, with a couple of variations of potato salad. I stood in the doorway and listened for a moment. The ocean breeze was pleasant, even if the day itself was slightly overcast. 

"Sir?" I heard from behind me. It was the older gentleman. He pointed back towards the glass cases. where she was peering out, looking at me, sandwich in hand. I don't know why I laughed a bit but I did. I stood in front of her as she began to hand it over she asked "What's so funny?" I smiled and said "Oh, nothing. There was just something in the way you were looking at me that just amused me." Her chin raised slightly and she said "I see." She paused for a moment and said "My name is Francesca. What's yours?" I cleared my throat and said "Byron". 

"Well, Byron, at least I know your name now so I can write it down next time." She reconsidered and asked me for the sandwich back. She pulled out a black sharpie and wrote my name down next to the price. "Here you go" she said as she handed it back to me. As she turned, her ponytail did a slight bounce as I walked over to the front counter to pay.

Notebook Dump #1

We do not merely stumble into our goals.
We must pursue them as if in pursuit of prey.

Success means never being fully satisfied.

standing at the cliff
water lapping at the shore
watching from above

tie together thread
what are you hoping to make
watching from above

Must a white flower symbolize death?

Active Reincarnation

The endlessly blooming heart

A group of old women drinking while whale watching.

Keep the ambitious seed.

Better to feel it all than not.

Between Tunkas and Izamal

"TO HAVE A DESTINY OR
TO BE CLASSIFIED AS
A NUMBER   THIS DECISION
IS FORCED UPON ALL OF US"

- sign located between Tunkas and Izamal
in the Mexican state of Yucatan


We were traveling fast on the uneven road
as the green of the jungle blurred into
an indistinct smattering of color

The car barreled down the middle
We would only edge over to the right
when a vehicle would come towards us

Above the blur of green the blue sky held
steady  It lorded over everything much as
it has since we worshipped the sun

My Uncle and I didn't have to talk
the wind did that for us

We were going to buy meat that was
to be used for lunch and dinner
later that day.

On our drive back we drank cans of
cheap cold beer while I kept
the fresh meat in my lap

As we were driving back he told
me of people who had drowned in the
cenotes outside of town

How unfortunate for them I thought
as he pulled the car up to the house

Hold On Or Let Go

What we used to be
   and
What we could still be

You is I

the alarm goes off and you stay in bed
listening to it ring over and over
until it tires itself out

you look at the ceiling and let its blank
white space fill you

who is this so called you?

there is no you

the you is I

and I

need to move

I need to let the chill

of morning move through

my flesh and propel me onward

Dedicated To

She is beauty and light 
but she is not a dame from antiquity
to be viewed from a pedestal,
an unreachable goddess.
She is mortal and fallible,
a joy and a chore,
a human from toe to crown.

Adoration

to adore
and be adored

this desire
feeds and renews

my love
is yours to have

take it
make use of it

fear diminishes

moving forward 

into light 

discovering what 

I've known to be true

Useless to Use

My words are useless

and can find no way to stand

on their feet

so they crawl on hands

and knees

until they can push up

from the ground

coming together 

in groups and pairs

unless they prefer to be alone

My words will find their purpose

and on that day

they will flow without punctuation

in a stream of continuous thought

until they exhaust themselves

and we can rest 

When we rest

we will sleep and dream

together in bed 

like lovers 

on their first night together

Pick One

Empty nest ritual

Emptiness ritual

Everything becomes fiction 

either by want

or necessity