Freewrite 4/21/15

This has to be an act of pure spontaneity or else
it loses value, meaning, but there was never any
intent to imbue it with such. These thoughts are
meant to move naturally as though they were
actors on a stage performing at the height of
naturalness.  I cannot persuade myself to act in
any manner but those I have already done. This
is a failing many of us carry. It is because  of this
the world largely continues as it does. Don't take
this to mean anything. Language? Cut your tongue
so you can claim to speak many languages when,
in fact, all you know are a handful of dialects.
Birds have begun to nest in the branches of the
lemon tree. I know this because I hear them most
mornings. I doubt they know or care that I can
hear them, I watch them come and go. They can
say the same for me. We are both free but which
of us are more free? Is that a question worth
answering? Free? Will? Will never comes by any
more. He moved away a long time ago. I have
stayed in place but I begin to question my judge
-ment. Speak of possibility as though it was a
person. Possibility would be the unusually happy
friend we all seem to know at some point. Their
mania is not so much a concern as much as when
they have been brought to the ground. Can you
ever pick them up? Are they too heavy for you?
I thought I saw the sun but it was merely a flash
light in the distance. I swore I heard the ocean
but it was only cars in the streets driving by.
Mary was always only as contrary as most of us
tend to be. No more, no less. How did she get
such a reputation for contrariness? My wings
are not broken but they have yet to learn to fly.
My heart never had to learn to maintain its beat.
My mind has worked from the start but I wonder
if it knows the secrets even I have forgotten?
It must. Why conjecture? The royal we? Royalty
is such a silly thing we have made. Are we not
all the children of some supposed god? How
could he pick a favorite line of blood? We have
been quite misinformed, and no doubt, will waste
no time in telling us upon our death. Death. It all
comes back to our lives, fleeting moments that
dull in the passage of time. Years become indistinct
as we move forward. What happened to my twenties?
I know but I forget. I don't wish to let my life pass
without effort. I am a coward but I wish to be brave.
Who said that? Probably everyone. If not said aloud
it has been thought many a time. Thought can be
an impetus towards action. In this way we are all
brave.