Morning 5/31/17

We lived through the dream and
found ourselves here again together
This place calling us back to life
This life breathing through us again

Heal that which aches in the soul
Slowly and imperceptibly

Let yourself believe in more
Let more grow within you

Strength is more than just body.

We can always carry on

I think of waking up next to you
as your body presses against mine.
Birds chirp outside as I hear you
breathe in slowly. I do not wake
you. I just listen. Soon enough
you will wake in my arms.

Morning 5/30/17

Disappear and reappear from this realm of consciousness
Normal under most circumstances


Sweet Darling still sleeping in her bed
Peacefully here

Fleeting moments in a busy universe.

Adulthood

I always thought being an adult was going to 

be different. Not sure how different but I did 

expect it to be different. I feel most aware of 

time and it's passage than I have ever been. In 

childhood and school days it always felt like 

time was this never ending vastness that was

stretching far into the future. As the years have 

passed I see time as a thing that is hurrying to 

rush past me before I can even comprehend 

what has occurred. Milestone moments of my 

life feel like blips on my life and they begin to 

recede into the cavern of memory. I imagined 

that by this age I might be a husband and father 

but that has yet to be the case. I live in an age 

of infinite information yet I feel true wisdom to 

be in available in precipitously small amounts.

I am not alone in how I live but I know many 

who live vastly different lives. There is no right 

or wrong in this but rather in what we grow to 

value and love. I ask myself what I want and 

oftentimes it falls into a few humble things: 

to be able to provide for myself, to be left

alone to my own devices, indulge my mind 

and writing, to travel and explore at my leisure, 

to enjoy the company of family and friends, to live 

a life not dictated by financial and societal pressures 

that seem to grind so many into husks. I have a job, 

a car, bills and obligations of my own choosing, 

and I am largely happy. I do feel unease at what has 

been done or left undone. I think about the coming 

years and wonder how they will be. They will be as 

they must. Of that I am as certain. I think of my father 

and how he is the most adult person I have ever known. 

His work ethic, his sense of duty to his wife and children, 

I have known no one more exemplary of the qualities I 

feel make a good adult. I know he is human and fallible. 

He has made his mistakes. I feel as thought I am lost and 

wandering. Am I waiting to be found? If so, by who or 

what? Perhaps I have merely been in search of myself. 

There are times I cannot help but feel foolish. How dare 

I consider myself an artist when there are so many others 

far more talented and deserving of such a title. I create 

in my own ways for myself because I must. If I were to 

not do this I would die a slow death of the soul. 

I am reaching out. I am looking for ecstasy, peace, 
and transcendence. I wish to be more than what I am. 
I wish for everything and nothing. That is all I could 
ever ask for. I hope my journey has many more years 
in it. There are disappointments and heartache but I 
would be foolish to think of myself as having been 
the only person to feel such ache. My pain and suffering 
is but a drop in the vastness of time. Perhaps not even that. 
In time this may change or it may not. I am here and I am 
thinking about this life, this self. I continue on and I hope 
I am making the best of it. Perhaps some day I will be at 
home in a small house of my own deep in the land of my 
father and grandfathers, listening to the birds and wind, 

wondering about nothing and everything. 

Morning 5/29/17

This fragile home for one
Vision guided by one pair of eyes
Behold the guiding light of dawn
through the gray haze of June

Hangnail moon
watching you wish to disappear
Your light still guiding
at such late hours

If a voice could heal
I would be from your glorious chants

I must allow myself to believe in possibility.

Do the finite-self and infinite-self
both seek the same end?

How does one act upon knowledge?

Souls swirling in a vortex
Matter taken and rebuilding

Morning 5/28/17

Infinite garden
Flowers and trees
in eternal bloom
I walk through you
I am you as well

I wake into the cosmic
Stardust and matter
I am the universe
Together in this time
Together for all time

For now and forever
Forever and for now
Here as long as I can

Your fingers are the waves
caressing the strings into sound
rippling across distance

Living endlessly
I believe in this turning wheel
Sight beyond this body

Turn this body into ash
Turn the ashes into soil
Torn the soil into fruit
Live and die and live
again and again
Matter eternal

Searching for speech
Ways to say that
which defies the mind
and defines the soul

How can we create the love
that has been missing
that is needed so deeply?

Morning 5/27/17

This road to happiness I can't entirely define
but I'll keep on moving towards it
every way I can

Peace and distress
To know one is to know the other
Balancing waves
Siblings from the same womb

Feeding and feeling
What do I nurture
in this mind and heart

What can one do with disappointment
except to learn from it?
To know we are fallible and prone
to making the same mistakes
yet still possess the capacity
to understand and make changes
to grow our ability to evolve

Are we not all worthy of love?

There is no shortcut to enlightenment

Wonder

How many long days of work ended with him opening the door
to his car and sitting down? Not all, but a lot of them. It wasn't
that his work was of the back-breaking physical variety, it was
the kind of work that wore out the mind and could make a man
soft and apathetic. Sometimes he would just sit there and close
his eyes before turning the ignition. Once he was on the road it
would be the usual evening slog through traffic filled with others
like himself just happy to be heading home and away from the
touch of work. Every so often he would look into the window
of a car next to him and watch for a moment. Occasionally he
would see someone singing. Other times they would be staring
straight ahead with a steely-eyed focus to get home. They all
had that look of tiredness that work had a way of stamping on
their faces. Even if someone was happy to be driving home
among all the traffic it was rare to see that look on someone's
face. He liked putting on music in the car for his drive. Some
days he wanted something pretty and slow, other times some-
thing fast and daring, but just something to listen to. It was a
little thing that helped make the drive more bearable. There
were many times he wondered what would happen if he just
kept driving. Not going home or to the bar, just driving as far
as he could until the car ran out of gas. How far could he get
and how much farther could he go with another tank? How
he longed to let the road open wide before him and drive until
everything could make sense again. Could the road go on
forever? Would he ever need to return? He wondered but
there was only so much wondering a man could do.

Running Late

He was running late and he hadn't had a chance to
call or text her to say so. She was going to be pissed
he thought. She had been telling him all week how he
needed to make sure he'd be on time today. He thought
he had it all planned out for any contingency but it turns
out to not have been the case. He was racing through the
traffic as best he could without being a complete and utter
asshole. He hated disappointing her. She was probably
fully dressed and waiting on the couch for him to arrive.
Honks and hands greeted him on this drive more often
than he cared to feel. This mad rush, would it matter at
all by the end of the night? Would it be forgiven and
forgotten by tomorrow morning? He hoped it would.
That was a future not yet living. He drove in silence
and finally arrived at his exit. It wouldn't be long now.
The mad dash of desperation, the final stretch was
now at hand. Just one more push.

Morning 5/26/17

What emerges

from prolonged draeming

or thought?

Does it find a way to the page

or incarnate into sound?

The knowable unknown.

A miracle you never asked for. 

Morning 5/25/17

Are we all not reaching for light?
Morning finds us
tells us there is more to be done
What can we do
but to wake and do
wake and do
until we cannot do
and wake any more

What is the sound of the universe giving birth?

This state of listening
Tuning in to a frequency
that floats invisibly through air

How large are my concerns?
How small are my concerns?

We find comfort in repetition
even if they are habits
that serve us ill
To break free of ourselves
we must move beyond
blind obedience
to the whims of the body
To exert reason
and control over our
base desires

Her left hand ran through her hair as she picked
up her water with her right. She was tired. It had
been a long week and there was still another day
to go. She wished she was at the beach, bundled
up, and enjoying the chill of evening and the
steady rhythm of waves. What had her hope given
birth to? She was unsure.

Morning 5/24/17

Oh Honey
Where will all these days lead us to
I try to not let myself be tied into worry
but there are times I cannot help myself
Passing days quickly become months and years
So much of what I learned to value
are things that are passing and illusory
What matters is so small but it is this smallness
that bears the most weight of the soul
The desire to transcend the limits of the self
has crept into my thoughts
How to proceed
How to create light from ash

Earthbound

Morning 5/23/17

To wake and live again.

I desire you

In the simplest of ways

Glorious chants which are infinite

If I can channel the energy flowing through me

There can be no limit to what can be accomplished.

Doors open and close as we walk through the halls of life.

It is not for us to decide which doors open at what time.

We face the choice of stepping through them or continuing

Onwards. That is the fundamental choice we deal with.

Open the mind so wide that all thought can pass.

My finite being desires to experience the infinite.

Music for healing.

What is the path saying as it calls forth?

Infinite steps in a finite life.

Called to home once more

Comfort of a familiar room

What are the questions I need to be asking?

If a question can be determined then an answer

Becomes clearer.

The sea swells within me

And at last

I let it surge

And burst through me

Morning 5/22/17

What are you listening for?
Is it a voice you wish to hear?
The voice of the earth takes many forms
and changes it's tone from person to person.
If you are patient and willing to hear
the voice will be there.

Have I become a vessel
for the energy flowing
through the earth?

These hours of dreaming
and where have we gone
A sunset without end
Perpetual twilight

Change is not always obvious when it is happening.
Hindsight will be the clarity needed to understand it.

Can you hear the calling as well?

Is true enlightenment the letting go of our ego?

Salvation through what means?

Invisible threads in the fabric of our lives
weaving through body and mind

Empty the well of desire
and what remains?

Morning 5/21/17

I cannot remember if I dream in color or black and white.
Does it matter which of these it is?

I'll offer a prayer to this life and all it contains
Multitudes existing within us
Flowing through us
I awake to live once more
I awake to feel the sun on my skin
I awake to help my sisters and brothers
I awake to believe in a better life for all of us
I awake to create a better world for all of us
Let me always be grateful even in times of hardship

Universal Divinity

To Inspire Art
To Inspire Creativity

Art beyond mere creation
Art as life and transcendence

Existing beyond the known

Ordinary and Beautiful

This life will seek to live on through you
even if only in memory

The Passion of the Search.

Of All Possibilities

In the beginning there was nothing.
From this nothingness came everything.
When everything came into being
the beings that occupied part of everything
could not comprehend there being a
nothingness so complete that it was
perfectly infinite in its complete lack.
And in this existence of things finite
came to be minerals, animals, humans
which are a kind of animal, cars, stars,
buttons and thread, and many, many
things far too numerous to ever list.
No one had been able to satisfactorily
answer why all this something exists
instead of not. There are many ideas
about the who, what, why, and how,
but no one idea or theory has ever
been enough to satisfy everyone all
at once. That is fine. It would be folly
to try and do so. In this world of
possibility I came to exist and so did
you through no effort on our parts.
In our lives we bask in both joy and
sadness, and live with the consciousness
this existence saw fit to give us. We
have found answers to many things
and still lack the answers for many,
many others. That is fine. In this world
brimming with the finite and infinite
the sun still rises over our world in
the morning, and the moon still bathes
us in her pale light in the evening.
This celestial routine is beautiful and
reassuring in a time of constant change.
Do not forget that our ancestors gazed
upon the same sun and moon in the sky.
In this world of possibility we always
find ourselves gazing upwards and
dreaming.

Morning 5/18/17

Beat moves slowly in time
comes to a stop
final note echoes

Time is old skin slowly being shed

How willing are you to be the student?

Beautiful Peace
Ecstatic Peace

The sounds pulled from my inner being
Utterances turned into rhythm and ritual
I am finding God here within
A search for peace
A search for that which endures
Money is no substitute for fulfillment

Words of Healing

The Gift of Healing

The Undeniable Power of Now

Changing forms as though we were emerging
from a chrysalis.

Morning 5/17/17

When the soul rises
so then must the body.

We can only intuit the invisible world.
To be seen with sight beyond sight
and felt with heart beyond the beat.

What life are we building for ourselves?
What future do we desire to have?

Together we build a future.

She sings for God
and I can only marvel
at the beauty of her grace.

Peace and Healing

Music is the voice of the universe.

I do not know all the words
but I sing with you all the same.

Together we ascend.

"In here the world begins." - Broadcast

Slow revelation

Time will hide and reveal as it must
as it deems fit to show

Speak with the voice of the soul.

I wake to the sound of your voice singing to me
in my mind. Clear and emotive I cannot deny you
entry into my heart. What is morning without this
sound? I am reborn with the end of every night.

Is the soul which aches the soul that is ready
for transformation to begin?

Morning 5/16/17

Voices in the choir room

A Blooming

What spirit is this
flowing through me
making waves
leading me on
giving me hope
through hopelessness

touched by the divine

What will you do with
this gift of a voice?

The struggle to not let oneself
be defined by their vices is one
that I have felt in myself.

that which blooms with morning light
petals tremble and bask
in this present gift

the sound which gave birth to the universe

It is not possible to live an existence
free of pain or conflict.
Our lives are defined by how we
react to and deal with each.

Found

It had been a long day and now he was home.
He made himself a sandwich and grabbed a
can of soda and sat by a window. It was night
as the hangnail moon shone down it's sliver of
light. A breeze as light as an exhale gently
touched the leaves of the trees. He took a bite
of the sandwich and chewed thoughtfully.
There was nowhere else to go. This was
where he needed to be. The crack the can of
soda made as he opened it cut the stillness
with it's metallic pop. The carbonation made
his throat burn ever slightly, he tried to avoid
drinking too much soda. His dad had told him
to not have too many when he was growing up.
Normally he would have put a record on to
listen to but not tonight. Tonight he allowed
the stillness of night in. It was so much more
peaceful here than growing up in the city.
He loved the city, he supposed he always would.
As he grew older he felt it to be a bit much.
As much as the city could bring people together
it could also foster a great sense of isolation
among people. Perhaps it was not the city
itself that caused the isolation, it was more the
result of the people living in it. The small town
he lived in was the kind of place he would have
avoided as a teenager or young man but now it
gave him comfort. He was no stranger to his
neighbors and the clerk at the general store knew
him by name. He took another bite of his sandwich
and let his mind empty for a moment. It was easier
for him to do this since he began living in the town.
The ability to slow thought down to a crawl was
never something he could afford to do in his old home.
Here it was not only possible but expected. What
good is a human mind that can not let itself be
empty from time to time? It would be summer soon.
The evenings would be a little warmer and humid
but no less pleasant. There would be nights when
he would put on his records and let the music
waft from his windows and into the calm night.
There would be nights when family and friends
from afar would visit and he would play host as
they marveled at the place he now called home.
They would wonder if he had gone mad or at
last found the thing they had all been looking for.

breathe

Early in the morning
you can hear
the land breathe in
and exhale.

morning voices

I fell asleep early
exhausted from a day
and week of work
Laying there in bed
I wake up early but rested
I listen to the birds
and wonder what they are saying
to one another
but then decide
it doesn't matter and
listen anyway

Morning 5/14/17

I wake up early here at home
but I have to remember
if I were in Yucatan
it would be two hours later
and everything would be fine.

I wake up thinking about warmth
and hammocks and long lazy days
listening to the birds in the trees
and watching sunsets over
the vast and ancient land.

I lead a charmed existence
when I am there.

______


Mother of creation
Giver of life
Without you nothing
From the feminine divine
all comes into being

As if all that has ever existed
still exists and will always exist

Morning 5/12/17

If I woke and I did not hear the birds
would I know it was morning?

Memory speaks silently within you
if you leave yourself open to listening.
What does memory have to say?
Sometimes it is the simple recollection
of a childhood memory of joy. Other
times it is the memory of misfortune
and the sadness which it brought.
Memory emerges by prompts both
obscure and obvious. Memory wants
you to remember. Without this memory
is nothing and for naught.

Our daily crossing of the threshold
between the known and unknown.

The search for happiness does not conclude
merely from one answer. It is a state of
searching and working that will come and
go in our lives. It is not a perpetual state
nor should it be. We must individually
balance the states of our hearts within us.

For Kristen's 2nd Birthday

I have learned to measure time
by your growth 
and change

Two years
How quickly this much time
has come to pass

Oh Little One
Growing by the day
Two years on from your birth

Know I will
Love you always
Even after I am gone 

Morning 5/11/17

The dawn asks no questions and expects no answers.
It merely asks you to open your eyes and to let
consciousness bring you back to this place.

You are not ready for the journey
because it has already begun.

The music at the birth of existence.
Light always reveals itself

Morning 5/10/17

Rested and renewed
I wake up for the day
and prepare for
everything

I have fallen in love with the
stillness of early mornings
Tranquility abounds
as the world still fumbles
in dreams before
sunshine touches their eyes

I cannot remember my dreams
most mornings upon waking
I have to trust that I do dream
even if they are lost to daylight
My mind does not hold on
to these passing worlds
but I wonder if I am the dream
of another me still asleep
in the reaches of rest

A bird lands on a branch of the
lemon tree outside my window
It looks both ways and takes flight

Morning Thoughts 5/9/17

You awaken to the dawn within.

It can take more effort to not drink
than I would care to admit
but I can and it does feel like
a relief of sorts to do so.

the sky is pulling away the shroud of night
as light begins to drift into steady view

How steady are your hands when you grip the pen and begin
to move it across the page. Are you ready to let your thoughts
unfurl in their own way, free of judgement, and editing, free to
simply be allowed to exist on the page and say what they have
come to say. How many words by how many people rest in the
closed confines of books dusty and forgotten in attics and shelves
across this world? Too numerous to count, this figure would
astonish us all. The words are always there and ready to be read
if given the chance. The page is longing for fingers to run across
long closed pages on paper that has aged as well as possible.

How early is the dawn?

Do you long to be part of the world or apart from it?

The name of God is on your lips but you have forgotten what it is.
Does it matter to Her. I supposed it doesn't as long as you know
that all paths lead towards the same form of enlightenment give the
right opportunity.

I can see a tree and think of shade and fruit. I can see a tree and
think of childhood and of my bike slamming into one. I can see
trees in the park and think of a park in Oregon and laying in the
grass, watching the branches and clear blue sky. I can look at a
tree and think of all the pieces of paper I have ever written upon
or thrown away once they have served their purpose. To exist
is to serve in so many guises in so many lives. If I am human
what will my next guise be? Will I still wake with the dawn and
hear the voices of the birds from the branches in the trees?
This life without end, changing from one existence to the next.
Sleeping until we must wake, and living while one can as well.

We are perfectly built to be imperfect. Through this we can find
the lining of grace and grow beyond the limits of our shortcomings.

I'm waiting for you in this room but I'll never find you here if I
do not leave. Opening the door I can find the touch of wind
and know you are there somewhere.

A moment of peace.

Is the universe reaching into you?
Are you listening?
Can you feel it?

Songs of Faith and Worship.

Reaching into memory
I find you, Old Friend.
Be at peace.

Monastic Order

Voices only grow more beautiful in a choir.

Light of Consciousness

Morning 5/8/17

The world falls apart
and begins again
and begins again
and again
again

Always be ready
for change
Change will be
Change is
Change

Remove unnecessary language
New thoughts from old words

We've come so far
Yet we must continue
Further still

Do your laundry
How much more normal
Can one be

Vision of the eternal
Glimpses through fleeting moments

Allowing oneself to feel again

Transcend these lives of petty worries

Recognize the journey
Allow yourself the freedom of honesty

Freedom from the unnecessary.

Learn to live in the essential truths of yourself.

Pastels gauzy and blending
into one another
Gentleness and softness
conveyed through color alone

Morning Thoughts 5/7/17

The rains have come and gone
What of them now remains
Wet stain upon concrete
A chill in the morning air

I listen to the soul of you calling
I listen and grow still
Absorbing the sound
Growing the silence within

I wish for these lesson to be in my marrow
To become part of my being
Undeniably whole

For Health & Spirit

Foolish blood and habits
Grow in the understanding
of what you lack
A true light awaits within

Om Shanti Om
Shanti Om
Shanti Om

Soul reaching out for the light

Clarity of Being

I am seeking freedom both within and without.

Oathkeeper or Oathbreaker: which are you?

Grow in both Body and Mind.

Ecstatic Elevation

Born into this body
Into this time and place
Home by any other name

A state of perpetual searching.

Late Night Thoughts, Page 2 5/5//17

Memory filters back at it's own pace. How it surfaces
faces and times from the past. What lesson must be
taken and learned? Those answers are at hand  if one
is willing to delve just beyond the surface of image and
memory. Joy and failure, the twin poles of life.

What is the truth of life I have been seeking? It had no
single answer. Many answers for the same question,
each fitting for a time and place. There is truth and
wisdom in this world if we are willing to seek and
accept it. This burning desire to understand the unknown
of the world and of ourselves. A thirsty spirit is always
seeking. Let us drink of this world.

Words are given more freely than wind. Action is a diamond
to be desired. The value of thought and contemplation.

Am I searching for God? Am I searching for enlightenment?
Am I searching for a better way to be human? Must the
answer be yes? Of course, it must. I am searching within
and in this world. I have to seek. I must seek. Suddenly
I remember staying at my grandparents home, watching
the sun set over the town of my fathers. Colors swirling
and melting until black streaks across the canvas.

Morning Thoughts 5/6/17

Need and desire to transcend

Drifting along on ocean currents
Shore comes into view
Swim to land or keep riding the tides

You wake and wonder
if it is the same dream over and over
Waking in a small town
Home of your parents and grandparents
Rising from a hammock into
the warmth of morning
Birds greet you from the trees
as the bell in the town square tolls the hour
These images comfort you
Home or a place like it
You are still yourself no matter where

It is the errand of a fool to believe
that ignoring the world,
ignoring the self
is any way to live well.
It is not. It cannot be the way.
Too many fall into this trap
of false security.
The self is always there
no matter what.
We must face ourselves
with open honesty.

Morning Fragments 5/5/17

Kingdom of Light
Search and realize
it has always been
within you.

I awaken into the waters
and toss until
I begin to swim
and make my way
to the shore.

To create
and deface.
Force language to say
that which was never intended.
Scrawl out in black the words
that are no longer needed.
Creating meaning from
that which remains.

Grey and overcast
Even morning is tired
Waiting for the sun  (haiku)

Where we are
Where we must go
Can they be the same place?

The lessons of a lifetime
Are we preparing for another?

The Divine Within
Transformation to Transformation

Meaning is the purpose 
that compels you forward.

Life exists within you
through all darkness.

Slow chant moving through 
How easily the soul sings
Sounds from the body

First Light

Darkness begins to fade as
Black begins to bleed into blue
across the canvas of sky

What can we call morning
aside from the very thing it is?

Waking into the humid warmth
of a land older than civilization
Turning body upright in the hammock
Letting feet touch tiled floor
The birds are already speaking
just outside the doors
in the canopy of trees
The town bell is struck
to mark the passing of an hour
An old motorcycle
passes by outside
as it makes its way
towards the hunt

Soul of existence burning through me 
I am consumed by light
turned to ash 
reborn 
into the world
once more as I was meant 
to do now and forever

I wake with your voice
in my ears
and fall in love
with the world
once more.

Thoughts from Morning Meditation

You who wish to dwell within hope and possibility.

To believe in more.

To see with our heart.

In our own way
we each feed
and grow from light.

Filling myself with the light of morning
I still my mind and feel essential vibrations

Peace. Chant. Peace. Om.

I am searching for the infinite light.

To be human is to seek.

Surrender the self.

See yourself as one part of a whole.
The whole is greater than any one of us can see.

Awaken to the possibility of how much
lies beneathe the surface of existence.

Finite self searching for the infinite self.

Still the mind and body.

To be closer to all of creation.

To create the better self through struggle.

To foster light and understanding in all creation.