A Summer Farewell

Sweat and tears
on a sweltering summer
afternoon
Last gasps of a season
I couldn't help the tears
or the sweat
Saying goodbye
You're never ready
even when you
think you are
I gazed upon
your face one last time
and watched you
as they lowered
the casket into
the ground
I watched them shovel
dirt until at last
the hole was filled
and the sodden grass
placed on top
In my dreams
we'll meet again
perhaps
if the gods are kind
I'll see you
at the end of
my days

The Beating Heart of the Sunrise

Summer Sleep

Warm summer nights
Sleeping next to an open window
How easy it is
to fall asleep in this comfort
Floating between worlds
Eyes moving behind eyelids
Seeing everything and forgetting
Seeing everything and remembering

Lifetime Summation

Define a lifetime

Words
Actions
Experience

What do we leave
What do we take

Impressions
Memory

What is beyond

Everything else

Fearful

You who wish to be free of pain
You who hide from the heat of day
You who wish to be in comfort
Hiding away
Hoping the world will pass
and these discomforts
will not reach you
How foolish those hopes are
Life moves forward from you
Your muscles will atrophy
Your heart will grow fearful
if you continue this way
You will die a death
before your heart gives
and all thought and memory
leaves your mind
Live now
Suffer through discomfort
Find truth within
Do not let this pass by

Running Late

There wasn't enough time. There was never enough time.
He had to go back to the house and he was running late
already as it was. Each time he stopped at a light or stop
sign he could feel his body becoming tense and anxious.
He pulled into his driveway and got into the house as
quickly as he could. It was right there on the nightstand
next to his bed. He grabbed it and let the house door
slam shut behind him as he turned on the ignition and
backed out of the driveway. He felt mildly better once
he was back on the road but knew he would be late.
Everyone would be waiting. He ignored the buzz and
vibrations of his phone and stayed as focused as he
could. He put on some music to try and take his mind
off things but it was no use. He turned it off and let
himself drive in the silence of an open driver's side
window as wind blew past. At last, he arrived. Yes,
everyone was waiting. He straightened his suit up
and ran his hands through his unruly hair. Ben saw
him as he walked through the garden entrance. "Do
you have it?" He pulled it out of his pocket and showed
it to Ben. They walked in together and were ready.

Home

Finding a place
to call home
to rest
to sleep
to love
is all any
of us
ever really
need

Present

Waiting
Breathing
Listening
Thinking
Relearning
patience
Breathing
Quieting
oneself
Present
Present
Now

Morning 8/18/17

to wake once more
and again
this morning
showing it's face
and I will show it mine

I am still listening
Morning voices
calling out

Days turning on an axis
Listening
to your beating heart
my ear against
your chest
Life and only life
and nothing but life
This moment
Every moment
Heartbeat
beating through
keeping hope
alive
keeping us
alive

Morning 8/17/17

the voice of
Creation
or do you call it
the voice of
God
or is it all the same
by any other name

A Wind Scattered World

Call it peace and meditation
to step away from this world

stillness

calm the mind
calm the body
breath in
breath out
inhale deeply
exhale fully
inhale deeply
exhale fully
here
now
here
now
a mirror looking inward
a mirror gazing back

hearing your sweet laugh
may your childhood be blessed
petals touched by light

Birth

A child being born
A woman screaming
Not merely woman
but Mother as well
Blood and pain
Life emerging
through this
Always like this

After the Fire

As the forests burn to ash and
the creatures flee from
the approaching flames
I watch from a distance as smoke
and death fill the air
A terrible beauty to see
destruction take hold
and life extinguished
When all is reduced to smoldering
dirt and cinders
what new life will take hold
from this pyre

The thin line between here and forever

We were expecting him to die
We knew the diagnosis was terminal
It happened last night at his home
with his family by his side
Loss and grief
even if it was expected
I think of the times
when I was younger
and called him Uncle
when I would see him at
parties or visit him
my aunt and cousins
at their home
My niece called me Tio today
Someday she'll receive news
of my passing
What memories
will she have of me
What memories
will I still have
in the waning hours
of fading light

Morning 8/15/17

I wake and find a way to center
the rush of morning thoughts
as my body seeks to return to
this living world.

I hear the voices singing in unison
As the steady rhythm moves in time

Old man
you've been a dead man
for some years
yet I hear you
speaking to me still
Your voice springs from
the page
and fills my mind
with your life


To focus my mind early
on thoughts of gratitude
To give myself the thought
that for all the shortcomings
of this world it owes me
nothing and I have been
a most fortunate son

Give yourself the gift of change
Allow yourself to overcome your fears

Morning 8/13/17

Here in this stillness I am listening for the sound
that will ground me in peace and prosperity
The sound I seek rests within
It has always been within
I close my eyes and open my mouth
and let it come forth

Slowly opening my eyes
The searching
The searching
of this life

The Consciousness of Matter

break direction

The things you break
could end up breaking you
Watch it with your hands
Watch where you're going
It won't get any easier
Watch where you're going
It won't get any easier

Don't worry but you worry
All the time
Don't worry but you worry
All the time

Close your eyes
Take some bumps
Directions around us
In every place we go
Don't worry
Don't worry
About direction
It is always here

Morning 8/12/17

How long have I known the answers to some
of my problems? Long enough to internalize
them and see them for what they are. Choices
to be made steadily and consistently. The time
is close at hand. I can feel it within me. To see
the path and place my feet upon it.

Caught between lives.

What does your spirit yearn for?
Can you hear it well enough to listen?
If you can hear it, are you able to
give it what it needs?

To foster growth and create balance.
Simple enough to write
much harder to execute.

The most honest self.

Are you seeking out true spirituality and enlightenment
or a mere facsimile of them?
Do you have the wisdom to know the difference
between the two?
This I must ask myself and have answers to.

If enough of us were to speak at once
our voices would cease to be individual tones
and become one concentrated force.

I am looking I am seeking and I feel the force of life
growing within. I struggle with my faults and vices
and grow frustrated at myself but I know I have the
strength and will to change. I need only act with full
intention and commitment to the self I wish to be. I
know how difficult this struggle is and will be. This
is something I must face. These fears and insecurities
will continue unless I confront myself honestly about
myself. To look in the mirror and see my faults and
beauty in equal measure. To see what I have allowed
my body to become but to also see it for what it can
still be. I must feed myself clarity and understanding.
I must purge myself of that which obfuscates my sight
and understanding. This is possible. I will not let this
mirror break. I must cast my gaze into it. I must look
with honesty.

Morning 8/11/17

Memories of what has been
I hold you close through the distance of time
In these spaces we are still happy
and together through days and nights

Heart beat
Heart beat
breathing in
Heart beat
breathing out

There has been a desire within me to close out
the noise and distractions of the world and begin
looking within for answers to the unanswerable
questions of this life. I would be content to live a
quiet life somewhere far from the city but yet I
know myself know that that could not last forever.
I am a part of this world as much as you are. We
must be part of this existence and change it as we
let it change us.

In this place the world begins. Inside the hidden
spaces of yourself are the crevices which bare
the answers.

Where does one find peace and comfort?

Waves of calmness covering you.

Morning 8/10/17

Awaken
What do you need to hear
What do you need to tell yourself
Do the tasks set before you
This life continues
Unrelenting
Continue
Persist through it all
Every choice made


Close your eyes and listen
Feel the force of life
coursing through you

searching for silence
my heart continues to beat
engine of this life

to live with bad habits
to call them vices
to struggle with the self
to desire change
to forge will to change

Morning 8/9/17

The Light Before The Dawn

Shadows Behind Your Eyes

To awaken to darkness and feel the
creeping approach of dawn
I sit patiently
Waiting for light
Waiting for daybreak

watching night become day

falling asleep in darkness
to awaken to it once more
as it begins to fade

I am finding the light
I am letting it in
Through the window
I can feel the cool
night air begin to warm

Subversive Arts

I must continue to seek the path that has been
revealed. The journey is a lifetime and patience
must be learned and relearned. A deeper place
of connection can be achieved. It is there if one
is willing to take a leap of faith to it.

eternity

This life
This beach
never ending
or so it would
seem
Standing here
watching
waves roll in
as though
they have
always existed

The Answer

Six days of clarity
To purify body and mind
Finding myself crossing
An hours worth of distance
Leaving myself at the door
Taking my place within
The stillness of the mandir
Sound and rhythm
Heaven manifest
Inside this place
Peace
Stillness
Time bent
And remade into
Something different
Something new
Finding myself
There once more
As soon as I can
Finding myself
One day
At a time

I wish to close the gaps
between our memories

Do not let time be the
grains of sand slipping

between your fingers

As We Watch

We are watching ourselves grow older as if we
were watching this happen to someone else.
It is now. It is everyday. How can this be?
It is life and this is how it occurs.

It is not merely the passage of the days and
nights, it is the greying of the hair, the growth
of the paunch, lines in the face, and random
aches from simply standing.

When I look in the mirror I recognize my face
because it is much like the face I saw in there
yesterday. How different would it be to see my
face from ten or twenty years ago look back?

These are the day and nights of a lifetime.
The journey may feel so long but it is a speck
of light among a field of endless black. I am
searching in the darkness for you as well.

We have found each other and now share
this moment together. How good it is to not
be alone. To connect, to share words, to
remind ourselves of what could yet be.

Even this night will fade
Even this sun will rise

Late Night Call

Calling me from my room
I get out of bed
and get into my car
I begin driving
through the night
Passing easily through
empty streets
Mile by mile until
the land opens up to
the black sea
flanking my left
At least I come to rest
With windows rolled down
I begin to listen
to the waters calling
Night after night
my blood is drawn
to this shore
I listen as if it were
the only sound
worth listening to
in this life

Even the darkness fades away

I rise and listen to
the voice of the world
calling forth
Our heartbreak
transmuted into some
thing greater than
the darkness
clouding the mind

I won't forget
being at your house
and deciding
we should take a late
night trip to the beach
Windows rolled down
the music merging
with the wind
Our voices going
back and forth

Taking you back home
Holding you
Telling you
I love you
Hoping enough of
the darkness has
been pulled away
from you

This morning
wondering
remembering
thinking of you
and all the time
that still remains

Planes and the Nighttime Beach

We can feel it in the air
Things have been difficult lately
As if a black tar has been spread
into our lives
Hope has been difficult to
hold on to at times
It has pushed many
to points of their own breaking

Sitting outside with you
Talking beneathe the loud
city night sky
We open up doors
We tend to leave closed
to many in our lives

How much lighter
Does the weight of the soul
Feel when it speaks
And unburdens itself

I suggested we take a drive
Though I did not tell you where
You placed trust in me

Through city streets and freeways
We traversed this home of ours
Down empty stretches of street
We came upon the beach at night
Darkened with waves still crashing

At last I pulled over
There we were facing the beach
Beneathe the beaming moonlight

So we sat and talked
And watched the planes taking off
From time to time overhead

We talked about how the passengers
Overhead had no idea we were
Sitting on the ground watching them go
Talking about them
Wondering where they going

That could be us
Seen by strangers passing in the streets
Not knowing where we are going
Though we are figuring it out
One day and one night at a time

There doesn't need to be a big answer
Simply the power to wake
To breathe and feel
To try again
To not feel as though things are lost

After a while of feeling the cool
Air of the beach
We got back in the car
And I drove you home
As we made our way back
To the beating heart of the city

Thoughts By An Actual Human.

Morning 8/1/17

I woke up and realized I was still alive.
Huh. So it was true.
I could not stop time
and since I could not make this life
an infinite proposition
I decided to make the best of it

From this place of darkness will come light
to guide you
to find you
to give you hope that the path
is there for you to take

To prepare myself for a path of
contemplation and devotion
A devotion to life
to a greater state

Is it rain or wind I hear?

Summer of your youth.

We hold on
We move forward
We suffer
We feel joy
We live with the changing
tides of this life