Drinking? Why?

Foolish capacity for perpetuating bad habits

I woke up in much the same way I do most mornings.
Is this right? Is this boring? Am I sick of feeling this
way? I am no fool, though, I do foolish things. Absent
the love I seek I fill myself with foolish waters to live
my days and nights. I am better than this. Too often I
have felt need for it when it was unnecessary. There is
a cycle of depression, drinking, and dependency I have
let take too large a grasp on me. They feed off of each
other and keep me in this locked cycle as long as I
choose to keep perpetuating it. It is easy to tell myself
to stop these bad habits, it's only words, it is so much
more difficult to wean the body and mind of the
foolish comforts we have grown accustomed to.
To change this habit of drinking is to begin to change
the other habits and insecurities that plague my life.
Each action, each decision is one tied to another.
No action exists in a vacuum. All my choices live
with one another. How to be the better person in
mind, body, and spirit, that I have always seen my
self to be? By choices made once and followed
upon in order to create new patterns of choice and
health. I have noticed my habit has moved into the
realm where the pleasure of it feels dwarfed by my
need to maintain it. It is growing boring but I have
continued to perpetuate it to my own detriment.
Change the choices you make, change your life.
You are afraid. Deep inside it worries you. Remind
yourself of the strength of which you are capable of.
Try to always live and act as honestly to yourself as
you are capable of.