I can't help but feel the way I do sometimes.
Happiness doesn't come as easy as I would like
and when it does I am always so fearful of losing it
and everyone that comes with it.
I use flaws and insecurity to push forward
though they hold me back at times.
I know what I want
but do I derserve the fulfillment of these desires?
Sometimes I imagine I might be happier leading a monastic life.
I am always torn between the part of me seeking out life
and the part that wishes to hide from the light.
Someday I would like to imagine I might find someone that could make me happy
as well as someone I could make happy in kind.
I am always restless
I am always seeking
I am uncomfortable when the routine
grows too familiar.
What I seek are the resolution to contradictory desires.
What will I give up first: music or writing?
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