Sunday, May 31, 2009

Too Short

The measure of all men 
is their word
and how well they keep it.



Beauty can be an ugly thing
once it is past its 
expiration date.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Obfuscate

Political Ideology is the enemy of individual thought.


What makes an angel want to save the devil?


If we cannot learn from the past
what future can we hope for?


Zebra
Falling into the role of protector again 

despite my own apprehension.

Is this lust or concern?

Do I dare believe delusion?

The night turns to beauty once more

when one is alone together.



Friday, May 29, 2009

Flesh Wounds and Psychic Scars



dreams and nightmares
always end.


we must strive for the extraordinary
under even the most ordinary
of circumstances.

7 Lines To Inner Space

If you were beautiful they would love you.


Turning heartache and disappointment into art.


The beginning is always an end.


What is it about the idea of a suffering artist that is so compelling?


Emotion is experienced so intensely that it can be both elevating and crippling.


Wandering Days.


Awake among the whispering glades.


My Brutish Heart


Masks
we are always 
revealing 
and hiding
different parts
of ourselves
to whomever may be
around us 
at any given 
moment.





Embrace Being

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Music: A Thought From The Previous Night


Music
This love

is too great

to not share

with the world.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Something to think about


Talk
maybe I was wrong.

do I miss you?

yes?

do I miss you or

what I imagine you to be?

I don't know

but I am thinking.



Sight
we spend our days
far too concerned
about the trivial details
of our daily existence
while we ignore
the larger view
of what lies ahead.

____________________

modern life
is leaving us
more connected
and more alone.



A Quick One Before Bed

Night In The City
there is never any silence in the city.

at night it trembles

with the stirrings of men and machine.

bodies toss  

or sleep in safe comfort

unaware of the night.

sounds of nature

are replaced by the restlessness

of modern man.

stars gaze down from light years away

bringing illumination born

when our forbearers were but gleans 

in the eyes of their fathers.

even now

staring at the darkness which surrounds me

I know

this city will be forever restless

no matter how

or when I rest.


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Greatness

I dreamed about you before we ever met.

+

We don't always age so gracefully.
+
If you never burn
you'll never know
the sweet taste of ash.
+
As wonderful as life may be
remember:
there will always be those willing
to cut your throat away.



Greatness
The great struggle is never 
the moments that are
Immortalized
in story, stone and verse.

The great struggle
is the struggle of being.

The sense of 
purpose(lessness?)
is daunting.

We romanticize 
the immortals 
as being so far beyond
what any of us can comprehend
or are capable of.

Great deeds come not from great individuals
but from ordinary individuals bent on becoming great.

Pick those words carefully


Succinct
What is it 

possible to say 

in ten minutes

that can't be said

in one sentence?




Monday, May 25, 2009

Ideals


You?
you are 
too beautiful to forget.

eyes ablaze 
like the daughter of Helios

locks flowing 
like rivers to the sea,

a figure bequeathed
by no other than Aphrodite.

attributes such as these would be
empty if not for the kind intellect 

you possess. 

gaze into my eyes
and be remembered

for the rest of a
mans lifetime.




Section 60


Section 60
Heaven above cannot forget
the sacrifices made
by those buried beneath
the sad acre at
Section 60.

Men, Women,
Fathers, Mothers,
Husbands, Wives,
Brothers, Sisters,
all rest beneath
the green grass. 

Lives have been lost
in service to 
nations,
beliefs and
causes 
for as long as man
has existed.

This will not change.

We can remember their lives, 
their sacrifices 
and ask ourselves

'What is the price 
we are willing to pay 
for our way of life?'


www.cnn.com/2009/US/05/23/section.60.cemetery/index.html

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Stellar Regions

Interstellar space is where I long to be.

Sound that goes beyond mere volume

and reaches to the vibrations 

that call our world into being

is what I wish to impart on all people.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Unnecessary Extrapolation


mo(u)rning
an overcast sunrise 
greets me once again.
there is time enough
for blue skies.
noon will come 
soon with warmth
enough for all of us.
salvation lays
in the dark lit confines
of a room echoing sound.
_____________________


pushing forward with desire
and unrelenting energy
is the only way.
__________________

All light gives way to darkness.
All darkness gives way to light.
All light gives way to darkness.
All darkness gives way to light.
__________________

but what now?

_________________

the waves sound just as beautiful as you look.
You made a mark on me,
Told me to wait patiently.
You pulled away
and I watched your memory fade.
That was so many years ago.
I can't remember your face.
I can remember how I felt.
Like a child lost,
searching for that familiar comfort
once again.

___________________

not everything written is meant to be gold.

___________________

I like my women how I like my wine,

Gorgeous and

Insane.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Expected Scenes From A Familiar Play


Your Shattered Hopes
a familiar scene

plays itself out 

in a familiar space.

darkness envelopes

sound and solids

into one being.

no one present
 
to give comfort.

no reassuring voice 

to turn to.

Darkness,

only this.


____________

Sometimes there is nothing but silence.
_____________________________
I can hear your voice singing through the darkness.
I run towards your sound
crying out your name.
No matter how close I come
you are nowhere to be found.
Walk away
I wish I could
Walk away.
Tormented by this darkness
where can I run,
where can I run?
______________________________

The city bleeds from its asphalt arteries.

Torrents of red lit platelets

on four wheels

crawl closer to the towering 

cluster of the heart. 
_____________________

your crazy smile
draws me in.
the fire raging behind 
opal eyes
blinds the reason
I retain
but you begin to strip away.
_____________________




Common Sense Nonsense


__________________
Falling into a trap

I have laid for myself

the shame I feel

could not be any greater.
__________________

Immaturity.
Too scared to see you happy.

Too immature to be a man.

I hope you understand.

A thousand piercing points

all puncturing my skin.

Be happy somewhere else.

Be happy with someone else

far, far away from here.
__________________

Do not be afraid of the work ahead.
Life is a constant challenge to the heart and mind.
_________________

If you cannot be honest with yourself
then with whom?
___________________________

Absolution through fire.
___________________
Writing is always an exercise in solitude.
___________________________

there is something beautiful in the simplicity
of typing words out
and having them speak.
___________________________
Our lives are filled with old tattoos
being covered up to mask the past.
___________________
Gold is never enough.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Gears From A Larger Machine Of A Different Time


Approaches
Words should not be minced.

Go for the jugular

or

hide behind

the flowery verse that 

masquerades as truth in some

circles.

I'm no judge

but it's hard to disagree

with the feeling that lurks inside.

________________

Mourning is reserved
for souls that have passed
not love that never was.
________________

The heart loves to believe
what it chooses 
rather than empirical truth.
__________________


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

New Tensions

Impossible Ending

Lonely flesh

beneath whose hand

do you hope to be?

Sending notice

through optical fibers

reaching for an others eyes.

Wrench yourself

from a monotone love

to connect to life.

Beneath decayed flesh

lurks new skin

waiting to glisten.

________________


Forget the shovel

go for the bulldozer.
________________

Summary Of A Lifetime
You are going to make
Some ONE
very happy
some day.
It just won't be

me.
_________________

Dress up your delusions in prosaic grandeur.

Non Sense



emptiness spills
over into long nights
which can only 
bear the strain so long
until they relent
becoming day.

fractions
become whole

until the divide.

darkness so pure
 
it becomes heaven.

transfigure

transpose

change the outer 

reflect the inner.

become

unconditional.

unbound

un un

done.

meter 

has no place

when the beat

has been lost.

you could be

perfect

if i ignored

the flaws.


Monday, May 18, 2009

Scribbles

Postpone Present Desire For Future Fulfillment.

We would stop if we could.
This fire will burn 
until we are ash.


Heroes are nothing but fallible men who performed infallible deeds.


Life was never meant to be experienced behind any type of screen.

Should I feel pity or contempt
for those living 
according to plan?
Am I the fool?


Life would be horrific without art to offset the pains of existence.

Art does not have an On/Off switch
(thankfully).

Patience is a virtue that must always be reaffirmed.


Sanity is where you find relief.



marauding monkeys making marks


plain sight omission
questions remain unanswered
because they were never asked.

truth remains in plain sight
though it is never spoken.

charades mask our interactions
for want of trust.

we believe we know the answer
yet all we have to do is speak to one another.

we can trust but only so much.
what are we afraid of?
___________________

You look happier than I could hope to be.

____________________
dos, quatro, uno.
it is a game of numbers 
which must drop
in order to gain
the desired effect.
this game can be won
only if it is hard fought.

____________________

Goddesses
forms like goddesses 

writhing in ecstasy

of each other.

life's flickering fire

burns within jade orbs

beckoning the beholder forth.

sirens of titan 

or of a more familiar place?

goddesses,

you enrapture

the mind at thoughts

of the flesh's delight.

inspire some sense

of earthly release 

from the drudgeries

of the days demands.



Sunday, May 17, 2009

Paths On Divided Ground

A Path To Our Well Being

Don't commandeer
spirituality
for your institutions.

Release it 
from the chains 
of dogma.

Let it bound across
the inner landscape
of all men.

Our modern conveniences
can never replace
the fire it ignites.

Maladies of aching hearts
could be healed if 
the stigma were repealed.

"Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak."




 "Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak."
- Kurt Vonnegut



Random Fragments:

The Internal Compass

Perpetually searching
for the undefinable
can leave one
alternately
exhilarated and
exhausted.


Scope and vision


Your combined beauty 
could destroy the world
or lead it into a 
wonderful new age.


Salvation 
can be had
for a price.


Breath Water
roll me under
waves and let me 
drown.
do not wait
for me to surface.
the heaven I seek
is a much more
beautiful place
than any I have seen
in our world.


moonlight is the best lighting for the unclothed human form.



The right woman (women?)
can be the most inspiring
muse. 



A Cosmology of Far Off Cousins
Drench your soul
in an Echoplex
and let it reverberate
through interstellar space.
Consume the electric fruit
which powers the fist sized pump
of our corporeal forms.
Forget that which has been revealed
and let the unknown embrace you
with its majestic kiss.
Let its fragrance consume you
like the lover whose memory 
awakens you at night.
Seek not the ideal,
become it.




The Devil You See Is Not The Angel You'll Find



Never Abstain From Vice But Do Have Restraint.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

tears are truth,laughter enlightenment

Do not mourn the past,
create a future.


We must never cease our motion
lest we be carried beneath
waves of idleness and
mediocrity.


Shed no tears for yourself.


What are we scared of losing?
What are we afraid of gaining?


Cease the game and begin the quest.




Friday, May 15, 2009

Sweet as vinegar.


Radio On The TV

Murder me like I'm your savior.
Save me like an innocent man on death row.

Meant every word I said,
said every word I meant.

Words change nothing
much
like its always been.

Hearts are made up,
time to give up.

Move on from yourself
become someone else.

No more prisons,
no more cages,
no more shackles.

Become unbound.

Finally free.


_________________

I'm a fawning madman
with no sense or plan.

_________________

The illusion of perspective.

_________________




Thursday, May 14, 2009

Dissolver




You Are Not It

You Are Not It.
You Never Will Be.
Might As Well Get Over It.

You Are Not It.
You Never Were.
Might As Well Forget.

-------------------------------

3Clubs
Psychic wounds cut deepest 
into the heart and mind.
The pain of love you never knew
and family you never grew to know.
Laying fault on everyone
and yourself.
Punishing the mind
with pummeling doubt 
and insufficient resolve.
Looking to self destruct
in order to escape 
the nagging inadequacy 
of all the works.
There are no heroes and villains.
There are only people
guided by a sense of what is right.
I cannot begrudge the one I love
for not loving me in the manner I see fit.
If I hold on to this deadly flower
it will blossom into cancer
and consume me whole.
I am not without flaw
but I am better than what I 
have believed myself to be.
Give me Everything
OR GIVE ME NOTHING AT ALL.

--------------------


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Ms. Me. Miss Me.

Miss Me Ms. Me.

the phone rang
and I saw your name 
come up.
i was a little surprised
but not enough 
to see it as unexpected.
your voice came through
as wonderfully as it does
every time we speak.
you told me 
you had been thinking
about me,
had been missing me.
you made mention of potential plans
of yours. 
the biggest drawback
to them you said
would be my absence.
without saying it
but thinking quite loudly
the inner voice said
then stay here with me.
tonight we shall see each other again
beneath the lights of Los Angeles
among so many other dreamers.
you told me you loved me.
i told you i loved you.


Sunday, May 10, 2009

Red Dolly

Red Dolly

Lennox is a small unincorporated
town just beneath the flight path
of the planes heading into LAX.
I lived there in my early childhood
with my parents in what seemed
like a much simpler time.
We lived in a small two bedroom house
with a small porch and
a tree in our front yard.
The other families that lived there
were much like us,
poor recent immigrants
from mexico or other spanish
speaking parts of the western world.
It is a time in my life where
few memories remain.
I can remember one evening
my father taking out the trash
to the street and going back with him
to the garage
as he pulled out
a small red dolly.
He asked me to stand on it.
I stood on it and held on to the bars
on either side as my father tilted it back.
My little heart was thrilled
that I was doing something
like this with my daddy.
I wasn't fearful,
I was trusting and felt good
about myself and our world
because of such a simple thing.
Yesterday
as I was pulling out of the driveway
at our home in Hawthorne
I looked over and saw
my nearly three year old
baby brother Tyler
standing and holding onto
the same red dolly
that I once had,
looking as happy and pure
as I must have that evening
so many years ago.

------------------------------------

We are the children of flawed people
who did their best to show us
what life is.


You are a wounded bird
looking for a branch to rest upon.


Did I actually find myself thinking about you
not in such base terms
but in a manner to express sympathy
towards you and how you are
as I sat there holding you?

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Step Back From The Darkness


Step Back From The Darkness

I am my own worst enemy from time to time.
My mind turns inward
and runs through 
the darkness
unbound.
As it 
traverses
the dark spaces
of the interior landscape
Hope is thrown by the wayside
as I am subjected to my own worst fears.
Hopelessness and fear take hold
as my better nature fights to
maintain control of my
heart and mind
until the urge
subsides.
The 
battle is 
waged from
time to time
but it is one that
we must confront
and overcome lest we
succumb to darkness and
our lesser nature.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Self Help Dialog



I can't help but feel the way I do sometimes.
Happiness doesn't come as easy as I would like
and when it does I am always so fearful of losing it
and everyone that comes with it.

I use flaws and insecurity to push forward
though they hold me back at times.

I know what I want
but do I derserve the fulfillment of these desires?

Sometimes I imagine I might be happier leading a monastic life.

I am always torn between the part of me seeking out life
and the part that wishes to hide from the light.

Someday I would like to imagine I might find someone that could make me happy
as well as someone I could make happy in kind.

I am always restless
I am always seeking
I am uncomfortable when the routine 
grows too familiar.

What I seek are the resolution to contradictory desires.

What will I give up first: music or writing?


Monday, May 4, 2009

keep moving



the night is always beautiful.

the day is always bright.

live through the heartache
to become a better person.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Driving to the end of the map.


Guilty Mirrors Break

We make terrible choices all the time.
Relationships are made to stave off
the sense of loneliness and inadequacy
that has been fostered by a lifetime
of neglect and dashed expectations.

The belief that material possessions
can bring one closer to completion
is thoroughly believed and falls short
of what true contentment can be.

There is so much pain in so many eyes
on any given day in any place you look
that one wonders what it is that compels
us to push forward day by day to some
mystical end game we will never understand.

We seek happiness without ever wondering 
what it means and what it is.

It is a question worth asking 
even though the answer is only one
that we know once we have experienced it.




---------------------------------------


Most people want the very thing
that they cannot have.
The mind convinces itself
of the utter perfection of life
if this one thing,
one person 
could be obtained.

We are foolish in such ways.

Look at any friend or acquaintance
in your life and you will see the truth 
to this.

If you wish.

-----------------

Isolation

Sometimes it feels like I'm speaking
in a dark room to no one at all.

The realization hits

that it is the truth

and my fingers flutter

over keys in silence.


Vulnerable

You have been my biggest disappointment
and my only regret.

Love is all I have ever wanted and
it evades me at every turn.
Nothing can fill this aching part of myself.
The mindless pleasures of the flesh 
have been nothing more than glimpses at 
deeper joys denied to one as myself.
Other pursuits bring joy and connection
but not at the level I seek.
I cannot hold these things close to me on 
dark nights of doubt and introspection.
So I sit in silence
hoping someone is listening
and could be missing me,
maybe even needing me.
I have grown fearful 
of reaching out to those 
that I may grow to love
or could love me
from a history of rejection
and shattered expectation.
How much more can I take
until I decide this is
ENOUGH
and leave these thoughts
to the dustbins of the past?