Unedited Freewrite Excersize #3

the day dies as I sit in stasis beneathe my own
impoverishment my pockets empty I am not a
person by standards defined by the present the
will of money the will to desccribe and assign
value and worth the brain rattles words out of
me like some river pouring out endless for no
one but is it for naught or not it is difficult to
know no no no no no know it is our will this
will to create your hand feels like silk against
mine your kiss sweet like honey your my lips
needful against yours play the part of fiction
beneath thinly glazed reality masquerading in
these words all words that authors write down
for consumption what happens when your
compress the narrative down to the most base
construct lets find out don't be playing those
love games just an in joke for us to know from
those days we laughed for no good reason but
to laugh laugh as freely as we could before
the weight began to press down on our chest
the weight grows like a cancer in our flesh
i have given up giving up as a resolution I
will become the power of will and change I
have always imagined myself to be there is
nothing but reality and the power of thought
to shape and bring semblance to this supposed
order of cognizance are you as scared as I
imagine to jump to change to destroy yourself
to gain what you need so am I so am I it is
always there staring boldly and without fear
waiting for an answer there is only a few choices
we can make but we never see it that way
hello former muse do you remember me cause
I remember you reminders litter the remains
of a forgotten age its been over and the present
is as bright as its always been dark the world
is so beautiful and we are so limited by our own
hang ups and self destructive habits did you
sleep alone again last night in a sexless obligation
this cold grows colder and my skin get used to
it no more than it has to whats the point the box
chatters on endlessly and i am as distant as i've
ever been its just a living burial your mouth
choked full of dirt tears streaming down and
wondering why there is no why and there never
will face it live it know it it is all there ever is.